[ SECRET POST #2677 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2677 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[The Scribbler]


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02.
[bioshock infinite: burial at sea]


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03.


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04.
[True Detective]


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05.


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06.


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07.


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08.
[fire emblem/super smash bros]


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09.


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10.
[World of Warcraft]


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11.


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12. [SPOILERS for Hannibal]



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13. [SPOILERS for Bioshock: Infinite]



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14. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]



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15. [WARNING for rape/abuse I'm assuming? Ramsay/Theon stuff]
http://i.imgur.com/Xo0GSkI.png



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16. [WARNING for mental illness/hospitals]



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17. [WARNING for depression]



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18. [WARNING for eating disorders]



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19. [WARNING for rape]

[Game of Thrones]








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #382.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

06. http://i.imgur.com/3D8Z0TA.jpg

[kaijinscendre]

Did you try talking to your doctor about changing medications? I assume you have been taking them for ten years so there has probably been some improvements (and variety) in whatever meds you take.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, more than once. I've taken various kinds, some did more harm that good, others weren't bad. This last one, the doctor's only concern was that while on the meds, I did not feel actively suicidal. None of the many complaints I had about it (mainly "nothing interests me, hey, this isn't normal right?") were ever taken particularly seriously. Anyway, I don't have a job or health insurance, so I can't go to that doctor anymore, and the pills just kinda ran out. So here I am.

Re: OP

[sarillia]

I would definitely suggest going to a different doctor if you ever have a chance. That lack of interest is a major symptom of depression and if it's still that bad then your meds aren't doing all they're supposed to even if you aren't suicidal. Obviously the first priority is to keep you alive, but the doctor should be looking at quality of life too and it doesn't sound like they were doing that.

Re: OP

[diet_poison]

+1

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to hear that. I have been struggling the past few months with really bad anxiety and panic attacks. I really needed a particular type of medication to stop the panic attacks. However, that particular drug strain is considered addictive and, since I'm a college student and going to the university's health center, I would obviously just be taking it to party and get fucked up. The other medication I had been on did not help me very much and I needed something better. I got pushed into anxiety counseling which hasn't really helped. In fact, my grad student counselor kept telling me I wasn't having panic attacks (even though doctor's have diagnosed my "anxiety episodes" as real panic attacks).
It wasn't until I really pleaded with the doctor about how bad I was feeling mentally and physically I got something that helped. I'm sorry that your doctor is not listening to your medication problems; finding a competent doctor who just avoids prescribing medication that could help OR (in your case) just ignoring that the meds they are giving you aren't helping.

[forgottenjester]

I came here to say this too.

And OP, I also agree with sarillia in that you should get a different doctor.

[(Anonymous)]

I had the same problem with the last meds I was on. I had to get switched to something cheap after a slight increase in my disability took away my medicaid coverage and I was off meds for about four months. The cheap meds don't strip away my creativity like the other stuff did. But the past four months without meds have been my best and most productive for writing in years.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand this. When I was on heavy duty meds for epilepsy, I used to come off them for a day or two, once or so month or so myself. I used to feel so much better for it. More human.

Found out later I was on entirely the wrong meds. I was misdiagnosed and they could have killed me. Perhaps see your doctor, talk about the fact that your meds aren't working? I eventually came off mine, took over 6 months (and over a year of side effects/withdrawal after that) but I did it with my doctor's support.

[(Anonymous)]

Didn't some rock star do this? I want to see the same thing happened to the lead singer of Korn. It just sounds familiar. I wonder if this is common?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I dunno? How did it turn out for him?

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

I remember reading him or maybe the lead singer of nine inch nails long ago where he said the meds killed his creativity and how once off them, he didn't have writers block anymore.

[(Anonymous)]

You're not alone, OP.

That's why I take my meds on an "as needed" basis.

Taking them constantly just switches one type of suicidal ideation for another. With the stripping of my creativity and lack of interest in anything at all, I'm just.. not interested in living. Which is sooooo much better than feverishly wanting to die right that moment. *rolls eyes* Even though I make plans/etc. either way.

So I only take them when I have an active ideation flareup.

(And yes, I've been on the med merry-go-round, and this is the best available to me (aka has the least intolerable side effects) right now.)

[(Anonymous)]

Up until later this week? My primary care physician, because the therapists I've had were the type unable to prescribe medication. Fortunately, I've been accepted into a new practice where my therapist WILL be able to prescribe things directly. So on the merry-go-round we go again.

I'm currently using sertraline. I've told my primary care how it affects me, and he was just as shocked and stumped as anybody. I've also heard the "they don't work like that" before. But for some reason, if I'm having an "I'm actively trying to get at weapons of choice" episode, the sertraline shuts all my emotions off. Completely. Which leads to the not caring enough about anything, including continuing living. But it's better than going to the emergency room.

And it's better than the "constant quad-shot of expresso, don't sleep for days until I'm back to desperate active suicidal ideation because at least then I can sleep" that citalopram gave me.

I am on nortryptyline daily, but that isn't for depression. What that does is give my brain its "on/off" switch back, so that I'm not always at the extremes of emotion. However, upping the dosage on that puts me in "serial killer mode", which is active suicidal ideation where the plans all sound perfectly reasonable and rational, so why haven't I done it already?

Then again, clonazepam is supposed to last for 6-8 hours per dose. It only gives me 20-30 minutes.

I don't know if it's the way my body processes medication, the fact that my mental issues started after a Traumatic Brain Injury, or something else entirely. Maybe my new therapist that I'll meet Wednesday will have an idea. :)

[theboundqueen]

I'm going out on a limb and assuming a bipolar diagnosis? I had literally the same problem when on my mood stabilizers. Most people cannot safely go without some kind of drugs with that diagnosis (again, I'm just assuming, since straight up depression meds don't usually kill creativity).

But

There's always a but.

I've been safely off of my mood stabilizers for five years. I got there after taking them for about that long and therapy. I learned my triggers, I learned how to talk to people when I felt wrong and how to warn the people closest to me, the one's I trusted the most, when I needed help. I got my creativity back, and I'm going to agree that it was worth it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: be smart about it. Don't let yourself dissolve when the badness comes upon you. Have a support network. Don't be afraid to get help. Bipolar CAN be managed without drugs, it's just hard. Learning and avoiding your triggers is the most absolutely important thing.

[(Anonymous)]

try it in school!