fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2686 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2686 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

NAYRT

Sorry anon, I simply don't believe you. My other half's one of the good ones. I believe he loves me and doesn't ever intend to cheat on me - but if a hot, blonde 18 year old was offering it up? I don't think he'd give me a second thought.

And I believe most, if not all, straight and bi men in the world would do the same.

AYRT

So you think all men who are attracted to women have the same "type"? That they all find the same things "hot" in a woman? Weird. Not my experience at all.

No, I don't think that. I do think that there is a difference between the 'type' people pick for a long term partner and the type people will just fuck. And yes, I believe that men are not as individual as they like to believe when it comes to the latter.

Having said that, my opinion has been heavily influenced by some messed up family history.

Why in holy hell are you in a relationship with someone you don't think would be faithful? And if you don't think any man would be faithful, why the hell are you in a relationship at all?

(I miss when I didn't realize I was asexual. Then I could call bullshit on people who thought all men were cheaters because I'd never cheat on someone. Now that I know I wouldn't want to have sex with someone in the first place, I can't make the same argument.)

Edit: BTW, did you know the assumption used to be that women were incapable of monogomy and men should stop expecting them not to cheat? Look up "Cosi Fan Tutte" sometime.

Edited 2014-05-11 23:19 (UTC)

Because I love him regardless, and the alternative is going through life alone. I am not by any means conventionally beautiful, and I am socially awkward. I came to accept a long time ago that I would always be someone's last resort.

I've seen a grotesquely fat bald man in a wheelchair married to a woman who seemed to genuinely love him. I don't think he was her last resort, and if women are almost the same proportion of the population as men, it seems unlikely that women have more need of being last resorts than men do.

Women are more forgiving of flaws than men in my experience.

It's not productive or useful for me to get this angry at someone who isn't angry at all. I apologize for letting myself get so worked up, and I'll back away from this topic.

I'm sorry, for some reason I hadn't realised you were getting worked up. This is something of a complicated subject for me, I genuinely wasn't trying to upset you with my opinions. Please accept my apologies.

Re: NSFW rant thread

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-12 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

Um.

I know it's probably really hard to believe, but you are not someone's last resort. You are worthy of love. You have someone who loves you, and he loves you because you're you, not because he couldn't find anyone better.

I sincerely hope that one day you will come to a place where you can believe that. I'm so sorry for the things that you've gone through.

Wait you're a guy?

Time was, I hated this reaction, but as I recognized that I didn't consider myself male, I got to the point where I love it. On the Internet, I'm consistently assumed to be female unless I say otherwise. Same goes for the phone, thanks to my feminine voice. In person . . . well, I have an Abe Lincoln beard and a Hulk Hogan mustache. I enjoy being able to switch between the two perceptions without having to change anything about how I talk and act.

I don't identify as either gender, but I consider myself to be in the "male box," at least in person. It's like my being in the "Asperger's box"--I do not have Asperger's and have never claimed to, but people who meet me often think I have it, so their reactions to me are influenced by the stereotypes they have of people with Asperger's. That's why I get so worked up when folks stereotype men--I don't feel like I can easily escape from such stereotypes in my day-to-day life.

Edited 2014-05-12 00:05 (UTC)

I hope this doesn't come out strange, but it's interesting to me that you're asexual, because you have some of the most amazing smut recs.

My tastes aren't limited by what's physically possible. :) Besides, I find love to be a fascinating subject, since it gets people who are otherwise guarded to lower their barriers and show their true feelings, and most people connect love with sex.

DA

That person you're describing who "loves" you but who'd ditch you for a hottie? Yeah, that's not "one of the good ones". Your definition of good is a little... no, a LOT messed up.

100%.

He doesn't hit me. He cares about me. Unlike my father and my mother, I don't believe he will ever try and kill me.

In my life, this is one of the good ones.

Oh anon, I am so sorry if that's your standard for "good."

It is what it is.

What I really need to work on is seeing past my own life, an remembering that just because I've had bad experiences that not all men are like that.

I want to believe that, I do I just have yet to see the evidence with my own eyes.

You deserve a hug.

What a boring and untrue stereotype. I hope you're proud of yourself.

What?

No. Dude, no. Not all people cheat. If you honestly believe that your SO would cheat on you the second the opportunity presented itself, then either he's not actually one of the good ones or you've got some issues to work through.

No. I really, really, REALLY do not agree with this. And I've been flaked out on by some pretty flaky guys.

Also, attraction IS subjective. I tend to be attracted to guys outside the norm of conventional attractiveness. I know I'm not the only woman like that. Why should I believe there aren't some straight men who are also like that?

Sorry, anon, but if that's the case, then he isn't "one of the good ones". I know guys who simply wouldn't do that. They'd probably be flattered (or amused) by the attention, but they simply wouldn't do it. Not even if they thought they could get away with it.