[ SECRET POST #2758 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2758 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Stormlight Archive]


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03.
[Legend of Galactic Heroes]


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04.
[OFF]


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05.
[Robin Hood]


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06.
[Pretty Little Liars]


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07.
[Orange is the New Black]


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08.
[2NE1's Park Bom]


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09.
[Constantine]


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10.
[Miss Fisher's Mysteries]


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11.
[Firefly]


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12.
[Batman]


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13.
[The Witches. Aliens. Coraline. It.]


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14.
[Ocean's 11]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 048 secrets from Secret Submission Post #394.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

If someone tells you that they're gay, is there a set response? I'm curious just from the point of view of wanting to have good manners. "Congratulations" seems flippant, and "Thank you for telling me" I feel implies that being gay is still a thing that must be kept quiet except from your closest and confidants and is therefore shameful. (And I'm not saying that the world has changed completely for the better that way, but I honestly believe that the Western World is in fact moving towards there.)

So is there a set formula to say that just conveys, "ok, you have just told me a thing, I acknowledge it, my world is not warped/rocked/ruined by this revelation, I have no problem with it, so what else were we talking about?"

Should we make up a set formula?

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

I say "Okay." And if it is someone I dislike, "Congrats!" with as much sarcasm as I can muster.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

"i already knew that" tends to be appropriate more often than not

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[dancing_clown]

It may be accurate, but I'd say it's far from appropriate.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[sarillia]

Really? I got a "I kinda figured" when I told my mom and somehow it wasn't very pleasant. I had no idea how to respond to that.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[queerwolf]

Not appropriate to say at all.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

I always said, "OK. That's cool." When my best friend came out I wasn't sure what was a good way to respond since we were 19 at the time so I just said, "Oh, well, I'm really glad you felt comfortable telling me." And we kind of kept it at that. I don't know what to say either, really. "OK" just seems good. Like you're not overreacting or making it seem like it's not as significant as said person would want you to react to it. I mean, I give it the same response as when people tell me where they grew up or when they give me details about what country/countries their family came from.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

hug them

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[case]

"Ok! Doesn't really change anything, but thanks for the heads up."?

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

I'm from Minnesota, so I'm required to chose between "You bet," "That's different," and "Whatever."

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

That sounds like a funny way to carry on a conversation.

"I'm gay!"
"You bet."

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

Haha, I lol'd as a fellow minnesotan (who happens to be gay). No one has given me that response (yet).

"Gesundheit"

[chardmonster]

Is this a close friend coming out?

Or just a guy at work saying he dates guys?

For the former it's going to depend entirely on your relationship! If the latter--it's probably not a big deal! Just say ok?

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[silvereriena]

It probably depends on how close you are to the person and whether this is a big step for them or they're just nonchalantly saying: "BTW I'm gay."

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

I haven't been in a situation where someone just flat out told me, "Oh hey, I'm gay." I suppose my response would be something stupid like, "Ok, that's cool. *confused face*" Just because it seems like a strange thing to say. Most people have just said it in passing like with people who talk about their siblings or pets. It just seems strange to say, "Oh hey, I have a brother/sister/cat/dog/fish/petrock."

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[cloud_riven]

Just *grunt*.


I can't recall the last time someone just went up and said, "YO I AM GAY" or anything like that without context. It's not quite the same as casually talking about a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[inkdust]

"Oh. Cool." But I don't think anyone has ever said that to me. Usually people just mention significant others.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[queerwolf]

Just say OK and that it doesn't change anything. Depending on how close you are, that's probably a fear they have.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think "thank you for telling me" is a bad response, but it depends on the situation. If they're someone who might have struggled with it, or they're telling you in confidence when they wouldn't have/have yet to tell everyone or their family or whatnot, then "thank you for telling me" is a good response because you acknowledge that they've trusted you with sensitive information. If they're freely open about it, that might come off as a bit sarcastic or condescending, but I wouldn't write it off entirely.

Other than that, though, in my experience my gay friends haven't really wanted any big deal made out of it. So even though it felt a little like brushing it off to be like "Oh, okay. That's cool", they seemed to appreciate it being naturally accepted, without fuss. Of course, everyone is different, so I don't think any "set formula" would work. It depends entirely on the situation, your relationship with that person, their personality, etc.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[herpymcderp]

If I tell anyone irl that I'm bisexual and they say anything other than, "Oh, okay, cool." or a similar sentiment...I kind of find it weird and uncomfortable.

Usually I'm only telling them for full disclosure purposes, if I feel like it's going to be relevant later. Most people I meet I just don't even bother talking about sexuality/sexual orientation with.

tl;dr I really hope you don't care. Otherwise it's a little awkward.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[toku_mei]

I think "thanks for telling me" is completely appropriate, and I'm gay. Telling someone you're gay more often than not takes a lot of trust and confidence that probably doesn't come easy for most LGBT people.

But I guess it depends how it comes in conversation. An announcement style conversation where they "come out" to you? Absolutely. If they casually mention having a same-sex partner, I'd just go with it without making a big deal out of it.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[diet_poison]

I would just say "oh, cool". Or maybe "You know I've always got your back" or something like that. Kinda depends on the person and the nature of our relationship?

I don't know that "thanks for telling me" would necessarily be inappropriate? Especially if they're early in the process of coming out. It does show that they trust you, after all. But I really don't know; I'm not gay, so I defer to people who have more experience with this.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[(Anonymous)]

I just nod. It's a piece of information that makes no personal difference to me.

Re: A Question of Etiquette

[making_excuses]

I dunno last time I actually said the words "I am bisexual" I we did like this "I'm bisexual" handshake "I'm straight", and then went on with our lives, so I am hardly the person to ask...