[ SECRET POST #2792 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2792 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #399.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Because we're a social species and if you don't follow the herd in a way that doesn't hurt anyone around you, there's something very very wrong with you and you undoubtedly need mental help. Right now, go see a therapist. Better buckle it up, get over your stupid unattainable fantasies that no one else in the world secretly has, and find someone real to love, weirdo!

[(Anonymous)]

Or you could be sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and fight strawmen.

[(Anonymous)]

Will you pay for OP's therapy and set up their OKCupid profile?

[(Anonymous)]

I would never, ever set up an OKCupid profile for anyone. Like, why would I subject OP to that?

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for answering my first question! Match.com then. Or speed dating. Since it seems extremely important to you and other anons in this thread that OP must find real human love.

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't answer it because I didn't take your post at all seriously. That's like saying "hey, maybe you should get that broken arm checked out" and someone snidely saying, "well, are you gonna pay for the bill?"

You're creating a false dichotomy, anyway, and ignoring the same thing that almost everyone else is ignoring here. OP doesn't need to find love. OP doesn't need to be in a relationship. No one does. The thing that stands out as being a bad sign is that OP has only ever been in relationships with people who treat him/her like crap, and OP now thinks that anyone s/he gets into a relationship with will treat him/her like crap. People aren't responsible for their abuse, but people who keep winding up with abusers such that they never have relationships with anyone but abusers tend to need help, if only because being abused can (obviously and understandably) fuck with you.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

That is the unhealthy mindset.

OP obviously WANTS a romantic relationship. They just either have literal impossible standards, or have been through so much shit they have given up.

[(Anonymous)]

But everyone including you are ordering OP to get therapy even after they mentioned, in their secret, that they don't have the funds to travel and meet a lot of people. If you're not going to pay for it or do anything other than say "get help," then feel productive, stop concern trolling.

I'm not ignoring anything, I know exactly what happened. A lot of people in this thread, despite claiming they want OP to force themselves into a relationship, want OP to force themselves to crush on real people. OP worded his/her emotions to insinuate "fictional characters are better than people," and it makes people mad when someone shows superiority over them. Couple that with the anon choosing to be single and having been abused, of course everyone is going to lecture and victim blame and tell OP they are the problem.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not ordering OP to do anything. Saying "that doesn't sound healthy" and "you might want to get that checked out" is not ordering someone to do something, and expressing concern is not, in and of itself, trolling.

Additionally, not having the funds to travel =/= not having the funds to go to the doctor. You seem to be maintaining a separation between mental health and other sorts of health concerns, so let me be perfectly clear on my POV: mental health issues should be treated no differently from other health issues. They are one and the same, and it's a travesty both that therapy is considered "extra," above and beyond regular medical attention, and that many people still cannot afford medical attention (assuming that OP actually doesn't have the funds to go to the doctor).

What you are ignoring, anon, is the most important part of the secret. Forget the thread. I said that I think most people aren't getting the point, and I said that OP doesn't need to be in a relationship (not everyone wants to be, and there's nothing wrong with that), so there's no need to continue focusing on that. If someone is continually winding up with the same type of person, and that type of person always treats them very poorly, then something is very, very wrong. It doesn't mean that OP is to blame for having been treated poorly (abusers are always responsible for abuse); it doesn't mean that OP is the problem. But it does mean that s/he most likely has a problem, and that problem is not shameful; it's no different from having a physical condition (the closest analogues I can think of are things like arthritis, Crohn's and MS). Whether or not s/he does anything about it is ultimately up to him/her, and if s/he does eventually do something about it, whether or not s/he decides to stay single is immaterial, because that's not the bit that comes across as being unhealthy.

[(Anonymous)]

No one's saying they need a romantic relationship.

The problem is that they have a very unhealthy view of reality. And I say this as someone who crushes on fictional characters. The thing is, I don't isolate myself and give up on everyone because they aren't 100% perfect like my fictional husbando or waifu.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, OP is insane but you're healthy and so much better than OP. But you don't mean it like that, honest! You're just trying to be nice! No, you insinuated it, as did many others in this thread.

I know it's annoying to hear "fictional characters are better than people" but I've seen the billions of threads where people admit they think about their OTP before going to sleep or play elaborate fantasies in their head when they're at work or whatever. You cannot tell me in all serious that no one else in the world has a fantasy life and it helps them. That is how some people cope. I've seen so many secrets admitting they want to commit suicide but their fanfic is keeping them alive, and everyone encourages them. Now all of a sudden it's horrific and so sad and not healthy to quit dating and crush on Mickey Mouse? Who is it hurting? How does "Oh I can crush on Brad Pit or Person X I see 2 times a week now instead of Mickey Mouse" such a healthy and better mindset?

It's interesting what effect tone has on a crowd, because the victim blaming in this thread is unreal.

[(Anonymous)]

You cannot tell me in all serious that no one else in the world has a fantasy life and it helps them. That is how some people cope.

There's a pretty significant difference between using a fantasy life to cope with things and retreating completely into a fantasy life. People are seeing the latter in this secret, and that's what they're reacting to.