fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2797 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2797 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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I know this will seem a little ridiculous, but searching the endless mass of internet for answers has only convinced me I have cancer every time I try to research a problem. So, I thought it would be nice to get some feedback from real life people to my individual issue. Mostly ladies are needed for this one, but if the fellas have any suggestions or comments that's awesome too!

I was sexually active when I was a teenager, which ended up with an abortion at 15. I continued to be sexually active (with the same partner) until I was about 18. I enjoyed a sex a great deal, but I don't remember how I felt when I first lost the virginity. I remember the day, I remember that he kept his socks on (I hate that), but I can't remember if there was any pain or if I orgasmed or anything like that.

Fast-forward to now, I practiced abstinence for 12ish years. In spite of being a sexual person, I made a personal choice to shy away from any actual penis-in-vagina sex (I still did some hand and mouth stuff). Even alone most of the masturbation I do is clitoral, I never felt the need for a dildo or vibrator because I got off just fine without one.

Now I have a serious boyfriend that I became very interested in being sexually active with, so last week I had my gyno visit with a clean bill of health and started on birth control. The visit wasn't comfortable by any means, but it wasn't as excruciating and horrible as I expected it to be.

So last night my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He was very gentle and awesome and listened to me when I told him to go slow or stop, but there was fairly notable pain. After a few minutes it got better but I felt like it never got truly comfortable enough for me to enjoy it the way I remember back in the day. Afterwards there was a teensy bit of bleeding. Now today I'm understandably sore, tender, and swollen. I'm still very interested in sex in spite of the discomfort I'm currently experiencing, but will this eventually go away? Did I, in a sense, regain my "virginity" of sorts?

I guess the bottom line is, IS THIS NORMAL? Is this how it is when you lose your virginity (or comparable to it)? I've read several articles stating that sex should never be painful for a woman...but that can't possibly be true, can it? Any help is greatly appreciated! xoxo

It's not especially normal, but it's not unheard of by any means. Talk to your gynecologist and see if they can tell you more about what might be going on.

That is completely normal. All bodies are different, and your story seems similar to a lot of others' that I've heard. Like the anon above said, the best thing to do would be talk with your gynecologist, but if you're reluctant to do that, you might try: using (or using more or a different kind of) lubricant, trying a different position, working your way up from smaller toys/dildos to ones the size of your partner, or doing Kegel exercises.

Your vagina's a muscle (actually, a bunch), and everyone's default is different. My own is very tight, and yours might be too, just naturally. It might have also changed as you grew older and/or your hormone levels and so on shifted. The articles are right in that pain during sex shouldn't be a thing unless both partners are aiming for that, but they mean it in terms of communication and making sure there isn't some kind of wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am thing going on. Since it's your own body's reactions that you're not happy with, they aren't really applicable.

Bottom line is, talk to your doctor, who will be able to help you much more than a stranger on the internet. But you are definitely in the range of normal, and it doesn't sound like there's anything horribly wrong. :)

Good luck, anon!

[ SECRET POST #2797 ]

Sex Question - TMI warning

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Re: Sex Question - TMI warning