case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-09-20 03:52 pm

[ SECRET POST #2818 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2818 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #403.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-20 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I think the "don't teach women how to prevent their rape, teach men not to rape!!" train of thought is useless at best and incredibly damaging at worst. People aren't going to stop being criminals. You have to take responsibility for yourself. It's a shitty world, and with the majority of rape victims that get blamed for it happening, I can't imagine not taking precautions. Yeah, sometimes that means not getting to have totally mindless fun.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-20 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, asshole a bit. Actually I think it's a bit of you being an asshole and you not understanding the issues at play or what people mean when they say things like that.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-20 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it's useful in certain instances. It's like guns; banning guns won't stop criminals that really want to shoot someone and don't give a shit. But it will stop accidents, and stop idiotic assholes posturing to be cool or people who lose their temper and grab any weapon handy from shooting each other.

If someone really wants to rape, and goes out there with the intention of raping, teaching them that rape is bad and what exactly rape is, isn't going to do a thing. If it's some dumb overconfident asshole, maybe it will.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-20 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
People aren't going to stop being criminals, but a lot of rape that happens isn't committed by criminals. It's committed by men who have dubious notions of consent. So, that saying is about two things: teaching those men what consent actually is, and shifting the blame for rape from the victim to the rapist.
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: tw: rape

[personal profile] diet_poison 2014-09-21 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
this exactly.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
Omg, this right here.

Re: tw: rape

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2014-09-20 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Somewhat asshole, somewhat realistic? Some people are going to resist any sort of social engineering, certainly, but that doesn't mean it won't be effective otherwise.

DA

(Anonymous) 2014-09-20 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it becomes bad when people think it's the ONLY method that will fix everything. Like of course you should teach people what consent is yes, but you shouldn't think that's the ONLY thing you have to do and it's the thing that will "stop rape"

Re: DA

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2014-09-20 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I will agree with that. In the same way that there's no practical way to ensure that everyone will stop littering or smoking or other (less damaging) behaviour, the only way to reduce them significantly is through preventative social pressure and image campaigns.

Eradication, though? Probably not possible. So yes, other measures will always be necessary.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
I think you need to find the middle ground, and that's what I think is sometimes missed - on both sides, but particularly on the "girls be careful" side. Do I think girls should be careful? Yes. Do think girls should stick together? HELL yes; it pisses me off so much when girls on the news will be all "last time I saw her, she was drunk and going off with some guy." Why the hell didn't you stop her? But you know, that's probably what they're going to ask themselves for the rest of their lives, so they don't need more judgment.

And when girls are raped and told "well, what did they think would happen, being at a place like that", there's a problem. I compare it to other crimes. No, you shouldn't leave your keys out. Everyone says that. But if someone steals your car, the first thing people ask probably isn't going to be, "did you leave your keys out?"
diet_poison: (Default)

Re: tw: rape

[personal profile] diet_poison 2014-09-21 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
I'm inclined to say it's mostly ignorance, in this case. Certainly not malice. But if you start telling people it was their fault for being raped and so forth, then you cross over into being a major asshole.

But yeah, the other commenters covered it pretty well. There's a reason the "teach men [and people general, imo] not to rape" approach is important, and it doesn't have to be to the exclusion of the "please be careful" bit.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
yeah... kind of an asshole.

because you say it's about taking responsibility - well, the "don't rape" education and information things are about people taking responsibility for their actions. that includes rapists.

i do think women should take precautions, but i also think we should have a bit more education for men, too.

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
Most rapists know their victim. Unless you have your guard up against every lover, friend, coworker, acquaintance, and relative you know, individual precautions only prevent rape from strangers, in unfamiliar environments. There is no preventing betrayal from someone you trust, and that's what that train of thought is meant to address, that rapists don't stick to targeting people having "mindless fun", that sometimes there are no precautions on the part of victims that work and there must be something more that we can do about that other than shrug and go "oh well".

Re: tw: rape

(Anonymous) 2014-09-21 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
I think if you can teach them while their young, before puberty hits, you might have a chance. But once they hit puberty, forget it. Young men with hormones are essentially rapists in training.