fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2831 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2831 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

[The Great British Bake Off]

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02.

[Trailer Park Boys]

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03.

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04.

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05.

[Gotham, Ugly Betty]

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06.

[Outlander]

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07.

[Short Circuit]

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08.

[Agents of SHIELD]

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09.

[Are You Being Served?]

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10.

[Avengers]

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11.

[Gotham]

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12.

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13.

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14.

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15. [ SPOILERS for Valiant Hearts; The Great War ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #404.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anon, there's no shame in your game. It's a great communication strategy that others have paid HUGE money to learn. Some people, like you it seems, just have a savvy that it takes others a very long time to learn.

Being a manipulative little shit is "great communication" now? What bizarro world do you come from? I need to cross it off my travel bucket list.

Starting off talking to someone with a strategy is great communication, actually. People who seem naturally charismatic or who have careers in sale know that, which is where the skill comes from. Knowing your audience and adjusting to fit them pretty much is how communication works, at least from the start. Building an emotional foundation comes later.

Well put.

You call it a "strategy", I call it lying. And lying is the exact opposite of great communication.

are you like five years old or something?

Are you?

(reply from suspended user)

I'd prefer a conversation with 5-year-old. If they aren't interested in what I'm talking about, they have the spine to tell me so.

I'm guessing you might be one of those bluntly honest people, if that's the way you feel about it. Or a generally quiet person maybe. Otherwise, lying or omitting or strategizing is how you grease the wheels of polite conversation, and that's just the way it is.

Yeah, I am bluntly honest. And I am generally quiet. I don't make "polite conversation" in the sense of feigning interest when I'm bored or annoyed. To me, that's not communication at all, because you aren't having a dialogue. You're spewing bullshit soaked in perfume and hoping the other person has a bad cold.

Well, that would be the problem then. You do realize you're probably not the expert on communication, right? While I'm sure it works for you, people who talk to people for a living follow different rules.

And that has nothing to do with the secret unless fandom is your job.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 04:28 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 04:32 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 04:33 (UTC) - Expand

This has nothing at all to do with people who talk to other people for a living.

And being blunt or honest does not make you a bad communicator. I'd rather talk to someone who is blunt than someone who lies to me just to get my attention any day of the week. Because you know what? If I realize they're lying, I'm going to feel shitty. I'm going to feel used and hurt and wonder why they felt the need to manipulate me like that. What do they have to gain, if they aren't actually interested in the stuff I want to talk about? What is their angle, then?

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 17:03 (UTC) - Expand

is everything this black and white to you?

So you just cut people off if they mention an interest of theirs that you don't share, or if you're not in the mood to talk?

Have you ever described yourself as a lone wolf? Do you insult people by calling them sheep? Do you think animals are better than people?

If I'm not in the mood to talk, yes, I cut people off. Why shouldn't I? And if they insist on talking about an interest or fandom I don't care about after I've told them so? Yes I cut them off because at that point I'm either bored or frustrated or both and talking to this person is a waste of time. Not sure what those other questions are even about, but no, no, and no.

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 06:49 (UTC) - Expand

solticisekf - 2014-10-04 10:40 (UTC) - Expand

solticisekf - 2014-10-04 10:43 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 12:09 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 13:22 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 18:11 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 19:11 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 19:26 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 19:42 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 19:48 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 20:09 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 12:15 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-10-04 13:30 (UTC) - Expand

idk about anon but if someone mentions an interest I don't share, I don't really reply to that. I would like to talk about something we both share, if their topic really does bore me that much.

And I'm a pretty extroverted person and I also wonder where the hell your other questions came from.

Building an emotional foundation comes later.
Yessssssss

How exactly do you build an emotional foundation when you don't even care about what they have to say (you're just pretending you do because honesty is "rude")?

For one, you stop confusing lack of interest in one thing for your person as whole.

And again, you're missing the point. This isn't about not being interested in something. This is actively lying about your interests to ingratiate yourself with other people. That is not how you build a healthy emotional connection. At all.

Who the hell pays money for something like this

Pick-Up Artists

....this is so true