fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2861 ]

[ SECRET POST #2861 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2861 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So do you wish it were possible for you to do so while disregarding the feelings of others or do you wish you could make others be happy with this scenario? In either case, doesn't it strike you as slightly creepy?

I get wanting less romance and more quality fiction, in theory. But when it comes to particular scenarios, things get weird.

AYRT

I guess if I had the choice, I'd want everyone to be happy with it. But I don't find it all that creepy because I recognize that it can't happen, and I don't think it's that unusual for people to wish that things were more to their tastes. Problems happen when they stop recognizing that it can only ever be a wish.

But the fact is, this CAN be to your taste, and it can be that way pretty easily.

Don't read romance.

There. You have your wish without any controlling or judgmental desire for the rest of the world to stop doing something they enjoy just because it's not to your taste.

AYRT

We all have controlling or judgmental desires. Most of the secrets posted here come from controlling or judgmental desires. They're kept secret because we all know exactly what they are, and that even though it's not unusual to have them, they're still best kept tucked away.

But why would you let something bother you that so clearly doesn't have to?

OP doesn't need to change archives, or the hivemind of fanfictionland. They need to change their perspective. They'd be much happier, and I'd wager nicer to be around, than they seem right now.

AYRT

I'm actually OP. Sorry for the confusion.

I don't think we really have control over what bothers us, just what we do about it. And I don't think it's wrong to admit to the thoughts we have when we're feeling especially bothered or frustrated.

I can see what you're saying, but at the end of the day, it's not something that could ever happen anyway, and fandom is a very small part of my life. It doesn't have that much effect on my overall happiness.

Then maybe stop saying things like "And it's because of people like you that it's gotten shitty" when someone holds a view divergent of yours. Because that is both controlling and judgemental. That's not just thoughts you have when you're frustrated, and frankly neither is your secret. It's trying, however futilely, to control other people rather than control yourself.

Because honestly? You sound way too overinvested in something you claim doesn't have that much effect on your happiness.

AYRT

I can see your point on that comment and how it was ill-advised. But I have to wonder, based on how your comments come across and how many comments on this comm come across. There are a lot of things that people say here that are probably coming from a place of frustration, and a lot that are coming from a place of...gleeful id? I don't know how else to explain it. People can say very inflammatory and rude things here, but I don't think that they're actually all that invested in what happens here or in the subject at hand. I also don't think they're actually trying to control anyone (although they are judging. We all do. You're judging me, and have been all along. The reason you don't think you're being judgmental is because you think you're in the right).

Anonymous comms are places where people share their unfiltered thoughts, and a lot of those thoughts aren't very nice or very friendly. I don't think having them means that people are unhappy overall or overinvested in certain things.

But, do you think it's a problem when people express those thoughts? Should they keep them to themselves even in a place like this?

I'm judging your opinion (your original secret), and your responses (the comments you've made to others), which are the only things I have to go on and the only things you present. I don't know you, therefore cannot judge you.

You, however, based on your opinion and responses, are judging an entire swathe of people based on their taste. Or, more accurately, based on the fact that they prefer something different to you. And yes, I do think that's a pretty problematic thing to express, anon or not.

AYRT

It comes across pretty hard that you're judging me as a person, especially considering you said that I'd be happier and nicer if I changed to suit you.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 04:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-04 00:04 (UTC) - Expand

If you realize it's "ill-advised" maybe go apologize to the poster you said it to. Otherwise I'm gonna take that as a much more accurate reflection of you and your views than this pseudobabble.

AYRT

The fact you think anyone has the right to demand an apology of anyone else says a lot about you -- or at least, I'd think that if I thought I actually had the ability to judge anonymous people on the internet based on their anonymous comments on the internet.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 02:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 06:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 06:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2014-11-03 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

Why should they apologize to that poster? That poster was being just as big of a dick.

It doesn't really work this way. You may avoid reading romance as much as you wish, but when you go into your fandom tag and NONE of the updates made over the previous month are gen, it is hard not to get bitter.

Then write your own.

Stop expecting the rest of the world to cater to you.

1) I'm already a gen writer
2) I expect no one to "cater" to me? As the OP rightly pointed out, we all have controlling or judgmental desires; this is mine. I'm not expecting anyone to do anything about it. I would actually consider it super creepy to try and change the situation in any way other than writing gen of your own.

This just in: people are no longer allowed to feel annoyed by things they find annoying!

I feel for you. It's similar to shipping rarepairings.

Perhaps spread where you look for fic, not just always in the same archives, or try different fandoms? Although that last one is not ideal, I know.

That failing, why not run your own genfic fest for that fandom? Actually, now I've thought of it, I fancy running one of my own.

I've thought about trying to run a pairing week for my rarepair on tumblr, but I've got no presence in my fandom and I've never ran anything like it. Not to mention the fact I'm not sure if anyone would be interested.

Try reaching out to a few fellow shippers with the suggestion. I think the pairing week things usually involve some amount of organization beforehand. If you get nervous about doing that, try suggesting it on anon.

That may be a bit difficult. I can really only think of a couple shippers at most. Not sure if that would be enough or if they'd even be interested. And I'd be worried about bothering them. Even if I asked them as anon.

Though the more I think about it, the more I kinda want to try. Should get myself a tumblr and begin to interact with the fandom. I'm a bit apprehensive, but hopefully it would be worth it.

Thanks, anon.

Also try advertising your fest.

And don't worry if not many people take part first time. Some things need time to grow.

Why have it just on tumblr? Make it multiplatform and you'll have a much better chance of attracting people.

Thank you so much for the advice, anon. :) I may actually give this a shot.

Tumblr is where the fandom is most active. And most of the comms for the fandom on LJ are dead. It doesn't have much of a presence on dreamwidth either.

Yes, this is fair enough. I have wishes that are like this, too.

Sorry I've jumped at you. I guess this is not exactly... an obvious chain of reasoning.

AYRT

Oh, I didn't think you were jumping at me, just asking things. :)

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