Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-11-03 06:42 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-11-03 06:42 pm
[ SECRET POST #2862 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2862 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #409.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random textless image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 04:35 am (UTC)(link)Why don't you want to have sex with people you're sexually attracted to? And how can you be sexually attracted to them if you don't want to have sex with them? As far as I've been able to understand, being sexually attracted to someone MEANS wanting to have sex with them so...how exactly does that work?
I've always been confused by this.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 04:51 am (UTC)(link)A lot of people are celibate or don't want to have sex with people that they are attracted to for various reasons. For some it's for spiritual/religious purposes. Other people are too busy with their career or other things to focus on sexual relationships. There are other times where people can be attracted to someone else but realize that sleeping with them would be inappropriate (for example, a few years ago I was sexually attracted to my boss but I didn't actually want to act on that attraction because, well, he was my boss and happily married at that). For me, I choose not to have sex even though I very much feel sexual attraction because I'm not at a point in my life where I want to have a relationship with someone but I also know that having one night stands or similar arrangements just isn't for me.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 05:49 am (UTC)(link)Yeah, I just checked a few posts earlier in the thread and realized that I misinterpreted what was going on. I was under the impression that anon was wondering why a sexual person wouldn't want to have sex with someone that they're sexually attracted to rather than why an asexual person would still feel sexual attraction. My bad, I should have kept better track of the thread
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 06:09 am (UTC)(link)I think my main issue is that the definition of asexuality is kind of all over the place and changes depending on the person (and sometimes someone will contradict their own definition even within the same sentence) so it doesn't really make sense to me.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 08:33 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2015-01-02 01:00 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 06:29 am (UTC)(link)I'm the same as ayrt and for me the reason I don't want to have sex with people is because I don't want to have sex with people. It's really not something I can explain, not having experienced anything else.
I feel sexual attraction to other people in the way of finding them hot and admiring them from a distance. I get off to watching them having sex with other people too, I just don't wish to be that other person who's doing it with them. I feel no need to be physically or emotionally intimate with other people, ever.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 07:15 am (UTC)(link)Ah, ok. I've been thinking maybe it's more a semantic issue than anything else, and it sounds like it is.
The thinking people are hot (and I only even use that word because it's what's common; "nice to look at" is more accurate for me since I tend to think of "hot" as having a sexual component for most people, and for me it's not any different than looking at a painting or something) and admiring them from a distance thing I consider more aesthetic attraction. (The watching them have sex part doesn't apply to me because it does nothing for me...although with that I would think you could be turned on by the act rather than necessarily be sexually attracted to the people themselves.) I wouldn't consider it sexual attraction unless I personally actually wanted to have sex with them, but that's just me.
But if people are using the same terms to mean different things then I guess that makes a bit more sense.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 07:44 am (UTC)(link)I think "voyeur" would be a more appropriate term than asexual for me, except voyeurs do want to have sex with at least some people, and I don't get off to secretely peeping on unsuspecting people. So maybe "asexual voyeur"? IDK, sexualities are hard to categorize.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 07:57 am (UTC)(link)For me it's definitely like a painting. If a good-looking person is around, I'll enjoy looking at them, and then when they leave I'll go back to doing whatever I was doing before. The idea of masturbating because of them never even occurs to me.
But for you, they are sexually arousing but you just don't want to act on it. You're right, that is a difficult thing to categorize.
Sexuality in general is confusing.
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(Anonymous) 2014-11-04 08:51 am (UTC)(link)