[ SECRET POST #2896 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2896 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #414.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[kallanda_lee]

Sorry to hear that. That must be very upsetting. I did see some nasty things happening here, though that's a few years back now. I sort of got the whole trying to kill myself thing out of my system early in life, and people on the internet simply no longer hold that sort of power over me. But, it seems you are protecting yourself and keeping yourself safe. That's great :)

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks. Sorry, didn't mean to be a dour fucker.

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[kallanda_lee]

Nah - don't worry about it.

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, because obviously suicidal thoughts are just some sort of teenage phase to "get out of your system."

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[kallanda_lee]

I'm actually trying to have a sense of humor about it, though I agree it's dark.

Look - it CAN be a phase, teenage or not, in the sense that people get better - or to a point in life that thing seems less extreme and more manageable. Does that mean you're "safe" forever? No, as the most common indicator of being at risk for suicide is having tried before.

However, it's also not necessarily a life sentence where once suicidal it's forever going to be that way.

As for "getting it out of my system" - well, turns out thinking I was going to die for real made me realize that's not actually what I wanted. Not really. Didn't stop me from being depressed, didn't even stop me from having times I felt like I wanted to die again. Didn't even stop me from starting to try again (but it did make me doubt in the moment, and maybe that doubt was enough). It taught me that not wanting to live like you're living is not the same as not wanting to live at all . And as a teenager, that IS sometimes hard to distinguish, because your agency is limited, and your capacity to change things equally so.

I do not recommend my methods, obviously, on account of not going to recommend people do shit that might get them killed. That being said - a near-death experience, of whatever the hell you want to call it - that can give you one hell of a kick to the system and change perspective (it can also give you trauma and a whole set of other problems, so hey, did I mention I don't recommend it yet?)

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[(Anonymous)]

Person kallanda was replying to:

Kindly bugger off.

She was talking about her own experience, not dictating my experience, or your experience or anyone else.

Also, yes, a lot of depression comes into play during the teenage years and straightens out later. Not everyone's clearly, but I say again, she was talking about her own experience, and this is a valid possibility for her.

TLDR stop attacking people for no reason...

Unless you were just trying to be funny, doing a parody of brainless internet activists, in which case, I sincerely apologise.

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[(Anonymous)]

So you're a hypocrite and she's a patronizing dick.

I'd be glad to bugger off just see the back of both of you.

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[otakugal15]

I hope the door knob stabs your asshole on the out.

Re: more people should post unanon imo

[making_excuses]

Out of the 4 people I know (one of them myself) who wanted to kill ourselves as teenagers, only one of us are left with it today, and that person is clinically depressed so no it isn't always a phase, but it can be.

All the way up to I was 20 I kept thinking I could just die, I could just throw myself down every damn staircase I walked down, jump off every bridge I walked over and if I had a knife in my hand I wanted to cut my wrists open. At my worst I spent hours wanting to just kill myself in any way possible, stuck with a knife in my hand or bleach or standing on top of high stuff wanting to jump.

My other friends have the same experience, and today in our mid twenties none of us want to die. I want to just pack a bag and disappear from my life, but I don't want to stop living. Not having the greatest life combined with teenage hormones and a not fully developed brain can make you want to die as a teenager, but as long as you survive those years you get over it.

Then again my aunt is 40 and she tried to hang herself two years ago so in a way I guess we are the lucky ones.