[ SECRET POST #2930 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2930 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #419.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Anon saying no to pushy friend

[(Anonymous)]

Er... this doesn't sound like a friendship so much as it sounds like a hostage situation. Don't stay in any relationship just because you're worried the person doesn't have anyone else. THEY are the reason why they don't have anyone else, it's because all their other friends got sick of it and left before you had a chance to leave.

Shut down any hints or attempts at guilt-tripping you about "promises". Tell her circumstances have changed and the more she talks about it, the more you see that it's for the better that you not live together. If she complains about not having a place to live, ask her what she plans to do about it. MAKE NO OFFERS. Remember that as annoying and horrible as she is now, letting her live with you would only be bringing the problem home and magnifying it.

It sounds to me like all her behavior is a confirmation that you made the right decision in not letting her move back in. Don't put up with her treating you like crap, you deserve better.

Re: Anon saying no to pushy friend

[(Anonymous)]

The fact that "she doesn't have anyone else" is neither your fault nor your responsibility. Don't let her put that on you.

Re: Anon saying no to pushy friend

[(Anonymous)]

Your last paragraph is ringing so true. I think she's really spiralling out if control and it's bad to watch but I've finally got My life in control and I don't want to lose it.

There is some angry spite at how unhelpful and harmful our friendship was when I was at rock bottom and I don't want to be there again, I've worked so hard at 'beating' depression and getting this job and making friends and hobbies. And I don't want the lurking depression to come back. She makes me so anxious I can't think and I'm not good at responding straight awY or saying no :(

Re: Anon saying no to pushy friend

[(Anonymous)]

It's okay. Extricating oneself from relationships like this is hard, especially because you know what it's like to be down and your instinct is to be kind and forgiving. That's very nice of you. Unfortunately, you can pour all your niceness into this friendship and it can still go nowhere because this girl isn't ready to work on it.

The friendship doesn't sound like it's improving, despite your efforts. That's a big clue to NOT put any more effort into it, especially if it's a cost to yourself.