fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2938 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2938 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Constantine]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Dragon Age]

__________________________________________________

04.

[Merlin]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Pokemon]

__________________________________________________

06.

[The Americans]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Doctor Who]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Twisted Toyfare]

__________________________________________________

09.

[Black Books]

__________________________________________________

10.

[World of Warcraft]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #420.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

today my roommates decided to have a "roommate meeting" which was really just about telling me all the things I'm doing wrong. I leave crumbs apparently, spilled something on the couch once and am still getting lectured about it, and, my favorite, apparently I smell?? (I do my laundry and take a lot of baths and so the only thing I can figure is sometimes I forget deodorant in the morning but they are acting like I roll in garbage every day.)

I am very depressed and suicidal so keeping my own room clean is very difficult but I have been trying my best and especially been trying to keep the living area clean which I think I have (mostly because I almost never leave my room but still)? I've been trying so hard to be okay but apparently not well enough apparently I am just gross and I already don't think they like me much so I feel like this confirms it.

I already don't have friends so my roommates not liking me just makes it worse and I told myself I would hold off killing myself until after I graduate university but its getting harder and harder to convince myself to wait.

so yeah fuck everything I guess

D: wow that sucks i'm sorry you're having such a rough time

Maybe you're picking up stink from your bed.

Maybe you're getting blamed for something that's not you.

Maybe they're trying to push you out so they can move a friend in.

ayrt

Yeah I will probably try washing my sheets and see if that helps, I try to wash those regularly but with finals then winter break I didn't get the chance? They didn't tell me if it was recent or long term they pretty much just told me I smelled and I didn't press for a lot of details.

and if they are trying to push me out too bad cause I signed the lease and have no where else to go lmao

I was pretty down when I was in college, because I was terrified of the effect of stress on my brain. Years later I learned that what scared me wasn't really that bad. The brain heals.

I was even worse for a couple of years after I dropped out, I guess because I'd dropped out.

Are you in therapy at all?

No therapy at the moment. I have some "real" reasons for not going (I can't drive and public transit is shit here, kinda poor cause college, I'm still on my abusive father's health insurance) but MOSTLY I am just too scared to go. Not so good with the whole "talking to people" thing after all.

That really sucks, and yeah, mental illness does make it so hard to manage your living space well :(

TBH, our roomates sound like dicks, though. It's not you...don't do anything to yourself :(

I'm sorry. Depression makes everything hard, and I know that keeping things tidy falls really low on the list when a person feels that bad. That said, it's hard to figure how how legit your roommates' complaints are, because one person's "clean" can be really different from another person's "clean", you know?

The bad odor is a small red flag, though. Most people are really reluctant to bring up something that personal even to people they don't like, so that one might be legit. I don't know how many baths are "lots of baths" to you (because again, one person's "clean", etc.) but I'd try showering daily for a while, making sure your sheets and clothing are laundered regularly, deodorant, things like that. It seems contradictory, but doing these things and basically faking normalcy and responsibility can be a self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to depression. You feel better when you get things done.

Good luck, anon.

I do bathe daily, some times every other day but not less than that, because baths are the only healthy coping mechanism I have. Like I said the only thing I can figure is deodorant which I forget sometimes, and my sheets, which I didn't wash last month. (I try to wash them monthly?)

I know I am messy but I have been trying very hard despite having been feeling very bad the past few months and this incident has just made me feel like my effort has been in vain or whatever. I don't know.

if they're that nitpicky with other stuff, I disagree with the other anon that the smell thing has to be legit. Way too many people think any "smell" stinks, or that a lack of perfume is stinking.

try a different, for YOU nice smelling washing argent if you want to get them off your back.

And I hope you can get through, anon. This sounds really harsh, but you deserve to come out alive.

[ SECRET POST #2938 ]

tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide

Re: tw: suicide