[ SECRET POST #2939 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2939 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #420.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice in regards to bullying

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh. If you don't want to make her feel worse, don't even talk about her damn weight. People whined at me for years to lose weight, just change how you eat, go get active and it'll drop right off. That's not the point, and I just wanted to tell them fuck you too. She'll lose it or not in her own time, and you and your sister bringing it up will always make her feel worse.

If she doesn't care, and she's happy besides the bullying don't harass her about it. It just feels like you're getting bullied by your family, too. If she's going goth and wearing "odd" makeup, it sounds like she's trying to convince everyone she doesn't give a rat's ass what people think of her appearance, WHILE trying to figure herself out.

If you want to help, or give your sister advice, get involved with what she likes. You don't have to listen to the same music, or anything, but maybe talk about the makeup? See what kind of look she's going for, and see if you can help her get there without it looking "odd," or at least more cleaned up and defined. Someone have weird, crazy makeup because it's all smeary and the lines aren't clean, or they can have crazy makeup very intentionally because that's the look they're going for, and the lines are clean and deliberate.

For the bullying part, first tell her to walk away and not engage. Then take it up with the VP or principal, whoever's responsible for the disciplinary stuff. That way she can say she's DONE that, already, and it didn't work, especially if they pursue her. Have her keep a record of everything they do, with dates, times, and deets. Keep that poster. There's going to be several people involved, but usually just one ring leader. If you can single that kid out (probably a girl, frankly) and take them to task, you can start to resolve the issue. And don't let them do any of that "Apologize, shake hands and be friends now" crap they try to get away with in school. The bully always lies, and the victim gets it worse later on. Tell them they are not allowed to interact with your niece outside school, or hell outside academic pursuits.

Is there a teacher she trusts? Or even one of the counselors? Tell her to talk to someone and stick to her guns. Especially if the kid's popular, or considered a "good" student, the adults are going to be wont to believe that person when they lie their faces off and say they haven't been doing anything. Tell her she can absolutely insist that these people did these things, whatever they might say.

She should either ignore them, or give them a lofty stare when they try to talk to her and put her down. My parents, when I was getting it bad, made up a whole list of insults in English and French (cause it was French class). I got the added bonus of the guy getting flustered cause he didn't understand me, and as soon as he said, "It doesn't count if I can't understand it," I knew I'd won. (He should have. They were all words we'd been using or learned from movies in class, combined perfectly correctly.) Turnabout isn't the most classy way to get back at them, but it's a great feeling, sometimes. ;)

If they go into someones office, tell your sister not to let them have the bullies in there with your niece. It never works. Too often the victim clams up, and the bullies run the show, swearing up and down they never meant any harm, they were just having a laugh, and it was just a joke.

It sounds like something that's been going on for a while. Have your niece's back. And seriously, get the fuck off about her weight. You're not going to help if you keep bringing that up.