fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2951 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2951 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[The To-Do List, Brandy/Willy]

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[Avatar: Legend of Korra]

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04.

[The Amazing World of Gumball]

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[Agents of Shield]

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[Game of Thrones]

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[Galavant]

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08.

[Soukyuu no Fafner Exodus]

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[Jamie Dornan from "The Fall"]

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(Neil Gaiman)

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #422.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah idk "childfree" as a community just weirds me out. Not because there's anything wrong with not having kids, but why do you have a community about not wanting something? It's like being an anti-fan. And the language is stupid and disgusting (like "crotchfruit" etc), what the hell. I find it even more obnoxious when they act like they're so moral and amazing for not having kids - and people who want kids are "selfish".

like yeah by all means let's give social support the cause of not having kids for any reason, reducing pressures people feel to have kids, and stigmas about people who don't want kids. but seriously, don't be a dick about it.

Childfree communities are typically a mess so I stay away from them BUT before I knew what the people were like I did like the idea of having a community for people who don't have and don't want children.

It's not so much about not wanting something as it is wanting to connect with other people with a similar lifestyle as your own. I like kids and have no problems being friends with parents, but some parents get really wrapped up in it even to the extent that they no longer have any interest in you if you aren't also a parent. It can be really isolating to be single and without children sometimes, not only do I not have a partner, but sometimes I feel like I can't have friends because I don't "fit in."

But like I said most childfree communities are horrendous and all the things you said are accurate, but if there were childfree communities where people just wanted to make some friends, I'd be all for it.

na

Yeah, the childfree community itself can be pretty awful (not that everyone in it is. it's just one of those things where the loudest and most obnoxious people tend to drown everyone else out). The childfree lj comms were pretty good for a laugh though (especially childfree_hardcore or whatever it was called. some of those people were certifiable). Some of the people talked as if they were literally never a child and sprung from their father's forehead as a grown adult or some shit. Like, yes, a child crying can be really annoying but if two seconds of a kid crying in a grocery store is enough to send you into homicidal fits of rage then you have issues. There was also a lot of things that came off as kind of misogynistic in those comms. A lot of people only seemed to focus on mothers rather than fathers and called them "breeders" and "cows" (because they breastfed their children which...I guess makes you cow somehow?) and scorned them for daring to have children instead of living a "successful" life as if they were setting the women's rights movement back fifty years just by having kids. Shit got crazy. I don't want children myself, but those people made me far too embarrassed to label myself as childfree even though I've met people who identified as such who weren't rage filled assholes

On the positive side those awful people will never reproduce and therefore die out in the next generation.

True. There's always a silver lining

I can only hope.

How do they expect the human race to keep going if no one has kids, though?

That's the thing. A lot of people who are childfree are so because there are so many people on this planet. We don't have kids because we know how much more waste a child will generate over his/her lifetime. Even if we were to teach a kid how to use whatever resources are available, that kid coukd grow up to be a hyperconsumer. On top of that, we know that food production is at a crossroads due to an increase in social resistance to tactics to increase crop yields (among other things). We know that resources are projected to become more expensive at best because so many other people are reproducing (mostly due to social pressure). Even though birth rates are starting to fall in most developed nations, the positive effects of that won't be noticeable for a few more generations. Estimates from The Economist have indicate the population won't stabilize for at least another 35 years. By that point, we'll be at a point where people giving birth simply at the replacement rate will be more than sufficient from keeping the human race alive.

you don't get it. it's not a matter of no one having kids, it's a matter of respecting somebody's choice not to have kids.

"they act like they're so moral and amazing for not having kids - and people who want kids are "selfish"."

Maybe that's a reaction against really self-righteous parents? Some people who are all about having kids use the same argument against people who don't have or want kids, that it's "immoral" and "selfish" not to have them.

It's interesting how, a lot of times, when we react against being bullied, we start to take on the same logic as the bullies themselves.

Not wanting kids isn't the same as not being a fan of something. Deviation from the expected life script can still come with a whole hell of a lot of backlash, as well as a lot of non-hostile but still frustrating or painful effects.

That's no excuse to be an asshole about people who do have or want children, obviously, but sometimes you really need to commiserate with other people who've been in similar positions about the fact that you had to break up with a really great SO because they want children and you absolutely don't, or about the fact that your parents are still hounding you about grandchildren when you've told them that's never going to happen.

I can see why ppl from some families would like the community support, especially for women there's soooo much child pressure...but the sheer amount of child HATE and the culture is toxic (calling ppl cows or breeders?!) is disgusting >:(

[ SECRET POST #2951 ]

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?

Re: Childfree versus not wanting kids?