case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-02-01 03:52 pm

[ SECRET POST #2951 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2951 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[The To-Do List, Brandy/Willy]


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03.
[Avatar: Legend of Korra]


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04.
[The Amazing World of Gumball]


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05.
[Agents of Shield]


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06.
[Game of Thrones]


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07.
[Galavant]


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08.
[Soukyuu no Fafner Exodus]


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09.
[Jamie Dornan from "The Fall"]


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10.
(Neil Gaiman)













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #422.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I think my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. I'm not sure how I feel yet, kind of numb? I've never been in a relationship before this and I'm really not sure how to deal especially since most of our friends are mutual friends. Advice?

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
you think he just broke with you? is this a ross and rachael kind of thing?

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean we got in an argument over him touching me when I'd asked him to stop repeatedly, and he stormed out and blocked me on every social platform we share instead of apologizing when I asked him to.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe you should be glad to get this guy out of your life?

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
ayrt

If it turns out that this wasn't him breaking up with you then I strongly encourage you to break up with him instead. He sounds like a real dick with boundary issues. And going straight to just blocking you on websites instead of talking to you like a normal person makes him sound extremely immature to boot.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
+1

He has major issues here. Don't take him back if he tries.
lb_lee: Raige making a horrified face. (D:)

Re: Breakups

[personal profile] lb_lee 2015-02-02 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, what a bag of dicksore. If someone freaks out when you ask them not to touch you, that's really creepy.

--Rogan

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
Wow.

That is... really shitty behaviour, anon.

Trust me, there are far better relationships out there. If somebody loves you, then they ought to respect your boundaries. You asked him to stop repeatedly and HE IGNORED YOU, like your opinion doesn't matter, and like YOU don't matter. And then instead of apologizing for what HE did wrong, he has the gall to storm out and block you? As if somehow punishing you?

No, OP. What he did was shitty. He's in the wrong, not you.

You should show this guy to the kerb.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
I am not sure how old this guy is? Either way, nobody needs to be with someone who either can't understand boundaries or can't have a disagreement without shutting them out completely. That's really toxic. I might be slightly more forgiving if he's young, but I'd still recommend thinking very hard about it before taking him back, and absolutely ensure he apologizes AND apologizes for both the touching and his tantrum, and he knows why those are not okay.
pantasma: (Default)

Re: Breakups

[personal profile] pantasma 2015-02-02 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
Good for you!!! Congratulations! It's really damn hard to tell someone to stop when you don't like what's going on, and then ask for an apology. Especially when it's a first relationship. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your comfort.

Yes, the aftermath is gonna suck ass, but you should feel confident to stick to your guns and be proud of yourself for that.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry. That sucks.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Breakups

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-02-01 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I think "kind of numb" is a perfectly normal reaction?

Just, deal with your friends as you always have. They'll adjust.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Fuck him. Not like that. I mean he can go fuck himself. And now he has to.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
...why? I don't think he's automatically a bad guy for breaking up with someone. this kind of thing just happens
kallanda_lee: (Default)

Re: Breakups

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2015-02-01 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
This...we don't know. He COULD have been a jerk about it, but then sometimes it's better to end a badly functioning relationship than to draw it out 5 more years.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Agreed. Breakups hurt, but sometimes it is for the best they happen.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-01 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
sa

In light of recent information posted in this thread by the OP, I revise my opinion. This dude does indeed sound like an asshole and he may go fuck himself at the soonest available opportunity

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
NAYRT, but I believe they're saying this after reading other comments that show this wasn't a peaceful "let's be friends" etc breakup...

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
their comment was posted before the OP clarified on the situation, but I do agree with them now that light has been shed

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT - Oh. Whoops.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
Chances are your friends have been willing you to break up with him for a while. Enjoy your freedom, do new stuff! - and you'll know the signs for any future relationships.
were_lemur: (Default)

Re: Breakups

[personal profile] were_lemur 2015-02-02 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
You don't want someone in your life who ignores your boundaries, and then flips out and punishes you for calling him on his shitty behavior.

Re: Breakups

(Anonymous) 2015-02-02 06:52 am (UTC)(link)
As far mutual friends go, just be chill. If you find out he's going to be at some get together, and you don't want to deal with a) your emotions in front him right now, or b) his stuff (bullshit, harassment, whatever) you can tell people you just don't feel comfortable being around him, right now, but thanks for the invite, and plan something else for another time. It's totally ok to not want to be around someone you used to be in a relationship with. Don't make your friends feel like they have to pick sides, and you should be golden.

My first boyfriend and I had a few mutual friends. He started making them pick sides, and was accusing me of taking away all his friends (they went to his high school, he knew them first, hung out with them every day), while I sat back and watched. Honestly, I didn't even talk to them all that much, let alone see them; just my best friend who had joined the group and introduced us all, in the first place. He was being a huge dick to them all because we became friends so quickly, and they all found he was pressuring me for sex (I told my best friend, she spread it around like melted butter). I felt AWFUL for breaking up with him, but I knew i had to for my safety and sanity, and now he was taking his anger and aggression out on everyone around him.

So let your ex do his things, you do yours, and just be the normal friend you are to everyone else. Seriously, you don't have to see him if you don't want to -- and frankly it sounds safer if you don't, if he gets pissed because you don't want to be fondled.

Sorry it went down like that, hon. It's never a good feeling, either physical or emotional.