fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2958 ]

[ SECRET POST #2958 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2958 ⌋

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What has your experience been in meeting online people? Mostly positive? Mostly negative? 50/50? Also, were they different from how they were online (either good or bad)?

I used to rp/volunteer in an online game dealie many years ago, of the type that did have its own tiny convention annually. I had a pretty well known rep, so after a lot of nervousness, one year I finally went.

Mostly it was actually really good. I met a lot of people that were terrific through the game and the conventions, and years later I'm still at least in vague contact with one or two of them.

there was that ONE jerkoff, though... the one that looks through you like you're dirt and nobody's quite sure why. Just another player, but he had an attitude problem. Even if the experience is good, just one sour experience can shy you a little bit. He was really a problem.

I've met one person. And that was a friend from WoW. We had played with him for 4 years on the game. We took a roadtrip and visited him on the way. We actually spent the night at his house. It was a really fun day!

I've only met one person. She was nice enough, but we hadn't known each other so long online, and we didn't hit it off too easily offline. It wasn't terrible, just a wee bit awkward and stiff.

I have some friends that I'm really dying to meet, though. I really hope it goes well when it finally happens.

I haven't always met with people because I expected to befriend them or thought they were good (sometimes I met with people I knew beforehand were jerks XD), but if I'm not counting that, then my experience has been 100% positive so far. I've already made two friends this way, and I'm pretty sure the person I'm meeting next will turn out to be as great IRL as they're online.

The only person I met in person after talking to them online was my girlfriend, so yeah I'd say it was mostly positive.

I've only met a few online people, and it's mostly been positive. There's been iffy experiences, though I wouldn't call them awful. The only awkward thing is that it's sometimes hard if I have "RL" people along for the ride, because then the friend(s) won't be sure whether to talk about the fandom stuff we normally would.

The only time someone was different was when they were, oddly enough, more outgoing IRL than online. Online they acted like Little Miss Shy; on LJ? Mr. Bouncy. (Apologies to Roger Hargreaves.) Seriously though, it was so weird. I barely recognized her as the same person.

I've had all kinds of flavours of meeting online people IRL. Everything from "we have now been IRL friends for years after meeting" over "I don't even remember their names, let alone their faces" to "this was so awkward and terrible, if I never see them again it's too soon". And then there's an unfortunate case of "I hate that person but they are friends with an online-turned-irl friend" where I will try to avoid meeting them but sometimes have to suffer through a meet-up with them present.

It's not something I do a lot. I met two girls from ontd_startrek back when the first reboot movie was in theatres; we were all students at the same university. I became fb friends with one of them but we didn't hang out after that.

However! My friends who met as online fandom friends (she's from CA, he's from NH) have been together 12+ years and are now married.

I would totally meet up with F!S people, like at a convention or something.

A f!s convention would be loads of fun, but I think we're too spread out to make it feasible. Also anons would be little weird since you wouldn't know what to expect from them.

So would I. Pity there aren't all that many people from the UK here. Also, I'd probably be embarrassed that my spoken English isn't good enough.

Wait you are in the UK?

And as an add on, you shouldn't be embarrassed if your spoken English isn't perfect or awesome, nothing embarrassing about it and you really should hear me try to speak German or pronounce anything that isn't Norwegian or English I can't do it, and most people who are worth it understand that speaking a foreign language isn't always that easy.

I agree, I'd definitely meet up some people here. I just haven't been to a convention in forever.

Mostly good. Honestly most of the time we'd meet at very related events (concerts) to fandom and most of them were similar to how they were online. I didn't keep in touch with most of them, but one I have kept up with for a year now and we've traveled around the country together.

I've met one person. Incidentally, this is the same friend I've posted about in the past regarding her complete self-absorption and basketcase tendencies. She's more tolerable IRL because I can distract her from sitting there doing nothing letting her brain tie itself in knots, because she won't fucking distract herself like everyone else.

I've met some of my best and closest friends online. I've also met some the rudest, most obnoxious, and craziest fuckers I've ever met.

So I'd say 50/50

I've met a few people that I knew online first. A couple of them were great, although it was a little bit awkward at first. But overall we had fun and we're still friends even though we don't talk a lot.

The other one... our friendship ended up tanking. But it wasn't because of us meeting offline, it was because they had a lot of issues that came out after that.

So... 75/25?

I've only ever met two people from the internet, and it was a positive experience in both cases. One of them became and remains one of my closest friends; the other I'm not as close to, but we still take the time to catch up at least once a year.

I've been meeting online friends and acquaintances for twenty years and it's been fine. There's maybe one person I wouldn't meet again, not because it was dangerous or horrible but because they were kind of annoying in person. Now mind you, I'm not dumb about these things. I do group meet ups in public places when possible, I don't go to anyone's house alone, I leave myself an escape plan and have my own transportation and accommodation in case things go south or I just want to bail.

Most people were shy at first, but once we got talking, the same dynamic we had online kicked in and we had a blast. It helps that we were all fairly laid back people in the first place with a weird sense of humor.

Almost entirely positive. Some of my closest friends are people I've met online and carried on relationships with over the course of decades.

I'm pretty picky about people I choose to meet irl that I've known online though. We have to have talked more than a few times, and generally we've met at Cons and the like.

There was only one time that someone turned out to be ...weird. And then it wasn't a creepy stalker weird, it was just a socially awkward and completely different personality offline kind of weird. That happens, though.

Edit: Because everyone else seems to be doing it, I'd say I've met upwards of 20 people offline that I've known online, 4 of which I'd consider close friends, and about 10 of which I'd consider pretty good people/would meet and hang out with again.

I've lost touch with a fair number of them, though.

Edited 2015-02-08 23:38 (UTC)

I'd say mostly positive but I stopped making a huge distinction between online and IRL in the past years. I've found one friendship really does not trump another and there's good things and bad things that always come regardless of how you meet your friends.

I remember being nervous and having awkward meetings the first few times I met online friends, but they went on to be long term best friends. I think the last few online meetups were not at all awkward just "OMG IT'S YOU!!! :D :D :D :D"

I met one person from online, whom I've known for years and years now. It was an absolutely amazing experience, because we've known each other for years through fandom, shared personal experiences that matched up really well.

And when I got off the train to meet her, she greeted me with the best hug ever. Like, one of those enfolding, cupping the back of your head hugs. Literally one of the chillest people I have ever met in my life.

I think I've been pretty lucky in meeting online friends. Back when I was into a band fandom, myself and 3 other girls (all from different provinces) travelled to PEI and roomed together for a weekend for a fest that our band was at. Now, granted we'd been in chats together almost every night for a few months.... We got along well enough for the weekend. I've had a few folks (from the same band fandom) that I invited to stay at my place for a few days when they were travelling through my area--again, it was fine. Haven't met anyone from my current fandoms, but do have a couple really good online friends that I would like to meet sometime.

almost all extremely positive.

Mostly positive! A few sort of "meh" experiences, which I chalked up to me being too socially awkward.

Traveling 10000 kilometers to share a rented apartment with internet friends is still the craziest thing I've ever done. It was great.

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