fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2958 ]

[ SECRET POST #2958 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2958 ⌋

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OP with further details.

So I'm going in for a neuro appt on Tuesday, but specifically a med tech is seeing me to do a sleep deprived EEG. This is to see if they can evoke a seizure response, or just catch me having on in general.

I've really only been going to any kind of medical professional regularly for like the past year.

Part of the reason for my nervousness and aversion is the fact that I'm a college student, and when I had one of the first episodes I can remember, I went to the college health center. A super judgmental nurse practitioner saw me, chalked down my episode to "stress" and suggested I speak to the mental health clinic.

(This was even while the med techs and nurses at the facility were basically lined up one either sides of the corridors when I left, in case I collapsed in front of them. That was how bad I looked to them.)

So I've admittedly developed some shitty habits in talking to medical professionals. Like, not disclosing the severity of my condition, if I'm afraid they'll discount me, or not admitting to precipitating factors.

Anybody have any advice in talking to medical professionals in general? Maybe how to deal with this kind of issue, of learning how to trust the system?

Well, you already know what your issues are, so I'm not sure there are techniques to get around that other than you resolving to be honest as you can, stick to the facts of what you're experiencing and learning not to let your anxieties sabotage your treatment. Be honest that you've seen medical professionals before for your seizures and didn't feel like they'd taken the issue seriously.

It sucks to have your experiences discounted or your fears dismissed, I get it. But at the end of the day, getting your feelings hurt by an asshole doctor is on them, not on you. You cannot let that get in the way of receiving proper medical care, because if you get all squirrely and start lying by omission then it is on you. You're deliberately hamstringing the doctors with incomplete information so now their chances of helping you is greatly diminished, and seriously, who wants that?

Ask questions. If you're unsure about something or you need more clarification, ASK. No need to be pushy, just gentle and persistent until you get answers. Doctors sometimes forget that while they understand the process and know the whys and hows of treatment, patients don't. Trust, but verify. Knowing more about what's going on will probably help you feel more secure about the whole thing.

OP here.

You're absolutely right; withholding information is a shit move, and the only reason I did it before was because I would be precluded from jobs I wanted to get into if I had a diagnosis of seizures. Once they got worse, I gave the docs everything I knew, and the (awesome) nurse practitioner who was seeing me prescribed me antiepileptics that very visit, with the go ahead from my neurologist.

I definitely have to get better about asking questions, and get past my own social conditioning to not question professionals.

I've had some similar issues and feeling better prepared has helped. I make notes about all the things I want to bring up and the questions I want to ask. Another one of my issues is that my thoughts tend to get very fuzzy and mixed up in these sorts of situations, so the notes help me avoid forgetting to ask something important. I also sort of emotionally prepare by imagining the different answers I might get to my questions and how I could respond to them.

Just remember that doctors don't want to help you. They want to do their job and they want to do it as quickly and easy for them as possible. They don't care.
You'll have to describe your condition and don't accept answers like "that's not that bad, just sleep better and eat better". They are not your friend to give such advices. They have to do their job instead. Be firm. You know your symthoms and you need to use your appointment time to the max. You payed for it.
So say hello, be friendly but distant, ask lots of questions. If you're nervous make a list of things you need to say so you don't forget.
Be confident, be firm. Make sure you really understand everything you need to do. Complain if you have to. (in written form, to a manger, or better ask people who know how to complain effectively)
Make the doctor to sign a paper with "you're too stressed" as your diagnosis next time. See how they react. Of course you're stressed - you feel unwell. Ask about their qualifications. Demand a second opinion.
It could go well too.) Trust is important, so try to find a doctor you trust.

Edited 2015-02-09 01:25 (UTC)

OP here

Wooooooah, that seems very harsh, but absolutely spot on. I have literally heard from my neurologist that I'm healthy, and I should exercise more and sleep better. (Granted, I hadn't told him that I've had organic brain damage since birth, so that was absolutely on me.)

But dude, thank you. This is an entirely different perspective than I had been operating from, where I had assumed that since it was their social obligation to help the sick, they were duty bound to fulfill it. NOPE never mind, that was fucking naive of me.

And thank you for mentioning asking questions, because I always seem to freeze up and feel discouraged from asking questions, because their specialized knowledge means they OF COURSE know better.

I have been making lists, so I'll continue to do that.

Granted, I hadn't told him that I've had organic brain damage since birth, so that was absolutely on me

why though? that seems like one of the first things I'd mention to a neurologist

OP again

Several reasons, primary among which was that upon my first visit, I hadn't realized it was something that would have played a factor in producing seizures. (Related to this, my adoptive parents had not told me the severity of the extent of my brain damage until I told them about my adult seizures. Apparently I had had seizures as an infant, but they were never disclosed to a health professional. Trust me, on my second visit, I told them everything I learned since my first visit.)

Second, and what kept me from going back for more prompt treatment, was that I was in the middle of a job interviewing process, the job being one that excluded people with seizure disorders. Once I was resigned to the fact that the disorder wasn't going to resolve itself spontaneously, I gave up and went to a doctor. Sounds stupid, I know.

I honestly don't know if solticisekf was trolling you or being super cynical, but please take their advice with a huge grain of salt. I have friends and family who are in the medical profession and no, they're not heartless bastards who just want to get rid of their pesky patients. Yes, it's a tough, demanding job and some people are jerks about it, but it's not like the whole industry is out to get you. Go into treatment with that attitude, and it'll be a major obstacle toward your health.

I resent the implication that my attitude stands in the way of my health. Also, what makes you an expeet in this? I had great results with this approach VS what I did before. It worked for me personally.

Are you saying that patients don't need to ask for a second opinion if they have doubts about their doctor?

What are you saying? What is the right attitude here?

Speaking as someone who has friends and family who are doctors... that's rather harsh. There are asshole doctors. There are also asshole lawyers, construction workers, accountants, bank managers, etc. etc. Not all doctors are assholes who don't want to help their patients and a big ol' "wow, wtf" to you for saying it to someone who's already anxious about seeing healthcare professional. O_o

I agree that it always pays to be informed and actively involved in your own treatment, but that's true regardless of whether or not your doctor is a gigantic assbucket or the best doctor in the world.

Also, your advice is contradictory. If doctors don't care about their patients, how is OP possibly going to find out they can trust?

I think that lb_lee has the right aproach. Doctors = employees. You have the right to chose the best specialist and make sure they do their job -if- they don't don't do it, and are therefore untrustworthy.

I'm surprised at your reaction here. Are you a doctor, a patient or both? Being a doctor's friend is a relevent expierence now. Ok.

I treat them like valuable employees. I'm the one paying them for their knowledge and skills, and in exchange, I expect THEM to follow MY lead. They aren't my boss; they're someone I'm paying.

As a result, if I want them to do their job properly, they need correct info and contacts for other related members of my healthcare team.

If it doesn't work, time to find a new employee. If you can, don't waste your time with someone who isn't the right practitioner for you.

--Rogan

OP here.

Holy shit. I never thought about this whole thing as a kind of "services rendered" sort of agreement. It seems kind of mercenary at first glance, but considering the entire Western perspective operates from the social exchange theory, based from the economic model, this makes perfect sense.

Wowwwwww. See, my problem was from my frame of perspective at output. I grew up in a duty-bound framework, where you operated in society through your sense of duty, and non-fulfillment reflected poorly on your character and called into question your merit in society.

But considering most doctors, especially Western doctors, are taught and proceed following the exchange theory, non-fulfillment doesn't reflect poorly on them at all. Whhaaaaaaaat holy shit my mind is blown.

I'M LIVING AMONGST ASSHOLES. Okay I'm better. Now I just need to figure out how to undo 20-something years of social conditioning. 8/

It might be mercenary, but I've found that I handle these relationships much better when I treat them as business. Otherwise, I end up cringing and quiet and passive, which doesn't help them OR me. I don't consider it assholish; I'm on much better, friendlier terms with my healthcare team this way! They appreciate me taking initiative and telling them what I want and how, and I appreciate their service.

Another thing at work is that I'm severely mentally ill and disabled, which a lot of people don't know how to deal with. By taking a leadership role, I'm able to educate them better and make them feel more at ease.

I still greatly appreciate and have good relationships with my healthcare team. I like them! This is just my way of not letting myself act like a doormat and giving myself rational expectations of their behavior.

--Rogan

OP again.

Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest you or anybody else were an asshole, just from my own sociocultural upbringing, the exchange theory sounds so cutthroat and it's hard to get used to.

Well, now that I know it's generally well accepted among medical professionals, I can probably feel comfortable about not getting shut down while attempting a more proactive role in my treatment.

You also mentioned informing all members of my healthcare team which I've also been having a bit of trouble with. D: I should probably work on seeing if at least the neurology clinic has all of my records related to the disorder.

Especially considering one of the major episodes occurred with me being an incredibly unreliable narrator in my own story. Tonic clonic seizures have a habit of fucking with your memory, and I know the admitting ER staff have a pretty complete record of wtf was going on when I came in on a gurney. If nothing else, it will probably help establish more of the pattern of my disorder.

And honestly, thank you very much, for all of this. Sometimes it's hard to realize that even experienced professionals come up against stuff they don't deal with all the time, and my case is kind of unusual for sure.

And I will definitely try to be more involved with asking questions and trying to provide pertinent information. I'm always a little worried about oversharing, because I'm afraid it'll make me seem like the disorder is the overshadowing factor in my life. (Which it isn't. It's a weird and fucked up side quest for sure, but I had loads of shit to get done on my main route.)

Yeah, when you've got something unusual (or god forbid, MORE THAN ONE something unusual) you generally have to be proactive, or you'll just get brushed off because "that doesn't happen."

Especially if you have memory trouble, getting everyone on the right page is a good idea. I, for instance, talked with my shrink before disclosing my eating disorder progress to my doctor. She was able to write up a letter saying, yes, this was something I'd dealt with, which kinda helped remind him. (It also helped that he's a nice doctor, and I always feel like he listens to me.) And this way, if I had some major relapse sign (I dunno, something showing in my bloodwork, for example) he has my therapist's information.

And yeah, I know it's hard to get used to. I was kinda the same way. I try to think of it as being leading and following, rather than mercenary.

--Rogan

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[ SECRET POST #2958 ]

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