[ SECRET POST #2978 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2978 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #426.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

As a preface, I am queer. I don't claim to any more specific label, because frankly, I'm sick of being yelled at by people who insist I'm not really that thing. I certainly don't claim to be demisexual, and I don't think that label relates to me.

Last night, three different (presumably) anons assumed I must be demisexual and ranted about how much they hate people who call themselves demisexual.

Seriously, WTF?

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

For the record: not one of those anons. But you realize you're probably going to stir up the same wank now, right?

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

I'm starting to get frustrated with myself for giving a crap about what kind of wank I start. I mean, I'm constantly watching my words, apologizing if I go too far, doing my best not to hurt anyone's feelings. I still get my head chewed off by anons with a cause, and I take it like I like it. Obviously, there've been times I had it coming--Hell, I had it coming in the suicide thread last night!--but if I'm being polite while taking others' rudeness, maybe that's as hypocritical as being rude and expecting everyone else to be polite.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

It's how you present yourself honestly. I wasn't one the anons who yelled at you but try to read back on your posts from the perspective of someone who doesn't know you're queer and it's not hard to get that impression. You also come off a little young and naive and I don't think that helps.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[dancing_clown]

Because, the way to deal with young and naive people is to berate them? Not even touching the shittiness that goes into apparently deciding how to treat people by whether they seem queer or not.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

At risk of sounding like a complete idiot, what would you suggest I do or say so as not to get called disgusting? I swear this is an honest question--I really want to hear what you say.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

The reason you are carching flak is because a lotof people have sacrificed their careers, their personal lives, their private lives, and in some cases their actual lives, in order that LGBT representation is a thing that has happened, that LGBT folks don't have to live in shadows or be confined to mental homes, or be castrated by the state, or fired just for funsies, nor be murdered in some cases by the actual fucking police. It has been a long hard struggle, that is still going on and is not won yet, and frankly all the bullshit letters people like you put after the LGBT (QIDJHGFJY, etc) puts all that gain at risk just because you want to be a special snowflake. We still need the general public onside, and for people like you to engage in obvious bullshit like that makes the entire LGBT community a massive target again, because you are turning us into a joke. Now sit down and shut up, and maybe the rest of us will be able to make progress again.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

They said they don't identify as demisexual. IT was assumed they did.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

Do you even DAR? (Seriously, I would love to see Erika Moen's reaction if someone told her she was a straight girl who just wanted attention.)

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[dethtoll]

As someone with a persistent fanclub it's usually best to just not dwell on it too much and don't engage them any more than you have to.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

I'm not sure how you'd take it, but you'd probably make a good inspiration, because I've never seen you get angry at anyone. If someone acts like a complete asshole to you, you start condescending to them, but in a really cheerful way, and you're generally pretty polite to folks who're polite to you. I've also noticed that the people you're most outspoken about disliking are folks who are stupidly, pointlessly angry about relatively small issues.

(Feel free to tell me if I'm totally misinterpreting something.)

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

was it you who said it was totally possible to be trans without dysphoria, and you call yourself "queer" because you chose to be trans even though you don't have dysphoria

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

No, I'm not trans. I don't identify with any specific gender.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if you can chose to be trans, but you can be trans without dysphoria. Dysphoria is a symptom of the transphobic cultural idea that penis=man/woman=vagina, not a symptom of being transgender. To imply otherwise suggest that you think of being transgender as a disorder, in which case I really hope you're not trans, because that's an awful lot of internalized transphobia :(

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

well, you said some really stupid shit* last night. and bringing it up again only draws attention to it.

*You implied you are queer even tho it seems like you are only heterosexual and "demisexual"
*You also told people they were stupid if they felt sad if someone they knew committed suicide because "You were not sad enough to help them if they are alive!!!!" If you don't know how WRONG that statement is, you can't be helped

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

don't forget "I don't use the term 'white'"

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

I agree that some dumb crap was said. But the part I don't like is how anytime someone says some dumb crap, some anons seem to be committed to bringing it up over and over and over again to fuck with people. It's dumb and annoying, just let the dumb crap stay in the past.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

"Obviously, there've been times I had it coming--Hell, I had it coming in the suicide thread last night!"

Also, the next person to say I'm heterosexual gets to hear my lengthy fantasies. This is a threat, not a promise.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[vethica]

People get really up in arms about the idea of demisexuality. I'm sorry they jumped on you. Feel free to redirect anyone else giving you crap about this to me, the official f!s demisexual. :B

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, vethica! *waves*

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[feotakahari]

From here on out, I'll step in more often when people are giving you shit. If all this were just about me, it would be a non-issue--I've pissed off tons of people by saying stupid shit, and I regret it all the time, but I've never seen you do anything to merit this kind of crap.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[dethtoll]

Post more, I like you!

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[philippos42]

Man, I don't even do this sexual identity stuff, but I at least know what demisexuality is.

I think people are up arms about it for silly reasons.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[iceyred]

The numero uno thing you need to do when it comes to interacting with random anons is to stop apologizing and giving a fuck when they say stupid stuff.

Really. When they attack you, smile, fling some shit back at 'em, and move on. You don't need to be thinking about their lunacy twenty-four hours later. You don't need that in your life.

Re: Holy crap, you guys

[(Anonymous)]

So, instead of just shrugging it off and moving on, you make a comment about it looking for a hugbox and possibly re-stirring the shit pot again.

Also, for future reference, when someone uses a blanket 'you' and then says this related to anyone who is: Cisgendered, Heterosexual/mantic, or Heteromantic Demisexual, and it doesn't apply to you, don't get all butthurt and not simply say you're actually gay. The crap you were saying came off heavily like you were queer simply for being Demisexual, instead of being Bisexual.

tl;dr: Stop being so butthurt and let it go.