fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2998 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2998 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Archer, linked for cartoon nudity/sex]

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30. [ SPOILERS for Kingsman ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #428.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

While I really do appreciate the advice and resurrance, I feel like it's much more 101 than I was looking for. I have, however, come up with couple of alternatives in the mean time and wouldn't mind some additional thoughts about them.

First one was to maybe take some acting classes or join something like Toastmasters to up my conversation skills, though I'm not really sure if this would be the best to go about things though as they're less about basic conversation and more about a preformance in front of a group.

Second was to video record myself in a conversation so I could analysis the awkward. Seems reasonable enough but who would record and will I die from first hand embarrassment?

Here, I found one with a list of specifics.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/brand-how-to-be-less-awkward/

Haha, looked through this and only thing I think I have a real issue with is eye contact and a little awkwardness about conversation (though not much in the way of what the article mentioned, like my stories aren't very engaging and my thoughts connect weirdly sometimes); everything else seems really obvious. Guess I have less to worry about than I thought!

Thanks a bunch for the link! : )

Don't record your voice. You'll only obsess over it and it'll make you even more nervous when you're out trying to be social next time.

Just accept that you're going to say weird things or make social faux pas from time to time and that just about everyone else on the planet isn't going to hold it against you as long as you can laugh it off and it wasn't mean-spirited or excessively racist or misogynist. Everyone, even the most social people out there, say weird things from time to time. Hell, the most extroverted person I know says some of the weirdest things out of anyone but she's still the most successful at making friends because she laughs at herself whenever she does it.

Learn to chill out and not worry too much about being perfect at holding a conversation. People are human, so we tend to give each other a bit of slack in that regard.

I'm sure it's been pointed out before, but like anything being social is a learned skill. It's performance, on some level. The more you do it the better you get at building a public persona, and the more you practice the more comfortable you feel about doing it. Just get out there and get some practice.

I gave speeches at a Toastmasters club for a while, and the practice helped me lessen my stage fright.

But. I stayed at a small club, so the audience was always small. And I had a hard time crafting speeches both I and the other members would care for. I guess table topics (where you talk about a topic given on the spot) can help for conversation, but it's still very much presenting.

I have some videos of myself half-acting in a conversation for a school project (a counselling role-play), and wow that embarrassment. But it made it very clear what kind of mannerisms I need to get rid of when I'm nervous.

For real conversations, I always "replay" the awkward moments in my head afterwards. I know it's not accurate as to how others see me, but I can analyse whether things that just popped out of my mouth were good ideas in hindsight, and how much of the conversation I carried.

Hope this gives you some ideas.

Yeah, your reply was especially helpful!

Seems like Toastmasters isn't quite what I'm looking for then, but I'll give the video recording a shot sometime!

I do a some "replaying" already, but breaking them down and analyzing them on how to improve would probably help me out better.

Kinda late and don't know if this will help, but vinesauce posted a video about awkwardness yesterday, it might not help you but it is pretty interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o268qbb_0BM

Oh, neat!

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