[ SECRET POST #3014 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3014 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 130 secrets from Secret Submission Post #431.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[feotakahari]

So before this comic, you thought sex positivity WAS a bad thing?

[sarillia]

It's not an uncommon opinion.

[(Anonymous)]

Negativity towards sex positivity, that is. *folds hands, Yoda style*

[blitzwing]

A lot of people have used it to shove compulsory sexuality down people's throats("sex is great! if you don't like it, you're just repressed by religion/sex-negative culture/the patriarchy/abuse" "sex is a human need" "everyone has sexual needs" etc etc). Even today there are still sex-positive feminists that spread this idea.

It's caused a lot of suffering for asexuals.

And like the anon downthread mentioned, some people use it as an excuse for inappropriate behavior. There are a lot of valid criticisms of "sex positivity" as it's practiced by many.

[diet_poison]

"Sex is a human need" gets on my nerves so much, and I'm not even asexual. It's a human drive - not a need. Food, oxygen, and water are needs.

[(Anonymous)]

The next step on that ladder is "Sex is a human right", which in turn leads to fascism. (With some steps in-between, but basically yeah.)

[(Anonymous)]

Except that it isn't a need? People won't *die* if they don't have sex - they will die without actual needs like food and water.

However, the majority of the human race is pretty heavily driven to have sex.

[diet_poison]

Man, I've never even heard that. Sounds like it could lead to some really nasty places.

[lb_lee]

Ohhhh. You ran across Government Gets Girlfriends, didn't you? I'm sorry.

--Rogan

[sarillia]

I was actually reading a really interesting discussion about that once. I think it can be a need for some people. I think it could be seen as a subsection of our need for human interaction. Like how everyone needs food but the exact types of food that people need vary between individuals because of allergies and hormone issues and everything. So maybe some people really do need sex for optimum mental health.

But that can still go down some bad roads when you start arguing about the obligation to fulfill another person's needs. Some people think that's an obligation and some people don't, and if you're in the former group then I definitely get why you wouldn't want to think of sex as a need in any way.

[diet_poison]

I mean, some people need a lot of things, but when you say "sex is a human need" you frame it as something every human needs to survive. (General you, obviously.) I don't necessarily disagree with you - I mean I don't know? has anyone ever literally gone insane from not having sex? because that's what happens if you deprive a human of all social interaction and put them in complete isolation. do they become dysfunctional the way humans do if they're not isolated but deprived of normal interaction? I have never heard of any of this.

Anyway, like I said - I don't like the way it's set up. Maslow's hierarchy lists it as a PHYSIOLOGICAL NEED which is utterly ridiculous: "breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis, excretion". Sex is quite literally the only thing on there that you don't physically need, as in, will DIE from not having! Why is it there? And when people buy into "sex is a need", it's a slap in the face to a) asexual people and b) people who choose not to have sex, for any of a variety of reasons.

Not to mention, yeah - all kinds of questions about who, exactly, is obligated to fulfill that need.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm an extroverted asexual.

I need social interaction, otherwise I will snap. I do not, in any way, need sex. Literally no one, even sex addicts, needs sex.

[(Anonymous)]

tbh I've seen "sex is a human need" so often in so many discussions (especially in SJ circles) it's fucking ridiculous. It's been used to justify all kinds of stupid behavior. "You can't expect him to NOT have unprotected sex with a new man every week! People NEED sex!"

Like, no. No they do not. Needs are, as you say, food and water and oxygen and shelter from the elements. Not having sex might be stressful (in the medical sense), but so is being poor or working a shitty job or not having close friendships.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it depends a little on what people mean when they say "need." A lot of the time, what people mean when they say they need something is that they have a strong desire or preference for it, or that it's important enough to them that they'll only vivre or up under certain circumstances. For example, I "need" sex in a relationship, not in the sense that I'll die without it, but in the sense that it's important enough to me to be a deal breaker.

But, the difference between me and the kind of people I think you're talking about is that I don't use that to get to force anyone to have sex with me. I'm upfront about it in the beginning of the relationship so we can make sure we're on the same page before things get serious. It's okay for someone to not want sex. I just want a partner who does want it.

I think people do need to remember that "needing" sex or a certain kind of sex is something that's on them, not on other people. It's up to them to find a partner with similar needs, not to force someone with different needs to bend to them. And if they do really want to be with someone who has different needs for whatever reason, then they need to figure out a compromise, not make it all about them.

[quirkytizzy]

I'd actually never thought it this way. About how the reverse implications of sex positivity can be used to make people feel bad for things they shouldn't feel bad about.

I will keep this in mind when talking about this subject in the future. Thank you for bringing it up.

[(Anonymous)]

Aww, the poor asexuals.

[blitzwing]

I'd think long and hard (no pun intended) about why you're so upset over asexuals talking about the negative ways sex-positivity has affected them. For some mystifying reason, it bothers you enough that you took the time to leave a comment belittling them and their experiences.

[(Anonymous)]

Not just asexuals. But, by all means, continue belittling people.

[(Anonymous)]

All the emphasis on sex, sex-positivity and sensual/sexual things has ruined feminism. I don't care for Third Wave feminism. It's not negative to NOT want to hear about sexual matters ALL THE TIME. The only people that may need it in the "First World" are- IMHO- women that have been in Fundamentalist cults.

[(Anonymous)]

Not even just asexuals.

If you're not 100% comfortable with talking about sexual stuff, that can get you labelled as "prudish" or some sort of religious fundamentalist.

It's ridiculous.

[(Anonymous)]

Sex positivity is a wonderful thing. For women. Men use is as an excuse to be gross, objectifying, and downright abusive. the "Rape victims aren't victims of rape, they're just sex negative" mindset

[(Anonymous)]

It's nice that you come here every day, trying so hard, flying under the radar the way that you do.

NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Their bat sonar helps.

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of people have used sex positivity to shame other people and/or to make them feel guilty about either not wanting to have sex or not wanting to have certain kinds of sex.

[atelierlune]

I've read it said that sex positivity is yet another tool of the patriarchy because it makes women believe that behaving in sexually explicit ways empowers them when it actually just continues to allow men to objectify and commodify them - now with women aiding and abetting.

I do not believe this, I am only reporting.