fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3014 ]

[ SECRET POST #3014 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3014 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 130 secrets from Secret Submission Post #431.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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allow me to clear up a misconception. many of us don't actually believe that being 100% separate from men is possible outside of some pretty extreme measures. most of us are simply trying to limit the amount of control men have over our lives. We don't work for men, we don't invite men into our private lives, but we're not stupid, we know that men being in our vicinity is unavoidable.

da

does it matter than fs is run by a guy?

Well, for one I have yet to hear solid confirmation (from case themselves) on their gender. But also no not really. 'He' isn't overtly male and 'he's' also not really pushing his influence over us. The owner who runs my closest store is a guy, I'd prefer to support any woman run business if I could reasonably do so, and I often do go out of my way to do so, but it's not always possible. We have to accept the make-up of the wider, world we just don't have to let it interfere with the world we choose to live to an undue degree.

I've been coming to FS for six years, Case is a dood

I've been here a while too. I've never heard case confirm or deny this. I've heard tons of speculation, but no confirmed facts.

so if other people have heard him say it, and tell you, that's not good enough?

case is male

not really no.

I don't exactly have long drawn out conversations with her/him now, but if I were to deliberately and actively stop engaging on a personal level with someone, I need to know for a solid fact why I'm doing it. "She said that She said this" is simply not good enough.

it kinds sounds like you're reaching really hard because if you can tell yourself that Case might actually be a woman just because he hasn't come in here and told you so himself that he's not, then you don't have to justify wanting to hang around F!S.

It's a weird mindset. But I guess if "headcanoning" Case as a lady lets you stay around, then hey, whatever...

ayrt

oh i see. thanks for the explanation. i have another question if it isn't too much trouble. are there any acceptable men? since you mentioned some men being 'overtly male' and some not. obvs not for relationships, duh, lesbian, and you said personal relationships like friends you prefer women, but what about siblings or parents or acquaintances?

sure no problem.

when I said overtly male, I was referring to the fact that I don't know their gender. not their personality, but their actual identity.

but to your question: 'Acceptable' is a tricky term. many men are acceptable, if I walk down the street I have to accept their presence, and some don't force themselves into my life or my space or anything like that. this is very acceptable. When I go to into stores, or call tech support or anything like that I can accept that there will possibly be men.

but I think you might mean 'pleasant' men rather than acceptable? men I miss, or men I would choose to allow into my life? I'm sure they can exist in theory, it's a big world after all, but my experience for a long part of my life is that no, the benefits of closing my life to men as a whole far outweigh the possibility of meeting a man I won't regret getting to know.

as for family I have two sisters, no brothers, and no father. one brother-in-law, but everyone knows how I feel about men so it rarely becomes an issue.

oh i was asking whether a man you'd choose to allow was theoretically possible, pleasant or not, but you answered that question anyways so thanks. i suppose it must be more complicated for someone who has male blood relatives, lol.

So, with respect, what's the difference between lesbian separatists and Men Going Their Own Way? Based on what I've read, they seem to be gender-mirrored versions of each other.

sorry for the late reply. work was tough.

to answer your question the practical difference from what I have heard - and at this point I should point out that I haven't had the opportunity or the inclination to talk to MGTOW (for obvious reasons). I know lots of people judge us based just on what they hear about us, so I do acknowledge the slight possibility that this info may be incorrect - but the difference is largely in how we go about it.

We - at least people who share my approach I don't claim to speak for every lesbian separatist but my experience makes me believe I am a pretty typical moderate - take the view that dealing with men is too much trouble and quite often dangerous so screw that noise I'm keeping them out of my life.

MGtOW tend to take the approach that dealing with women is too much trouble and hurts their feelings / makes them uncomfortable / whatever, so screw that noise - which is their own prerogative not much judgement here - but then go on endless tirades to keep women in their life by making their entire lives about promoting how horrible women are. It's not a 'men are great' group, it's a 'women suck' group.

Yes, I think for the most part men have shown that they suck, but that is not the centre point for my whole life. This realisation was the point on which my life turned, where as MGtoW have made it the point on which their lives revolve, if that makes any sense?

I hope you are able to overcome this one day, really confront your issues and function in the world without judging people by their gender and riding on this crazy moral high horse that makes us actual (non-political) lesbians cringe. Best of luck in the future.

Lol this is hilarious. Rad!fem has stepped up her game.

Well, that invalidates my comment below, but that causes a different problem. Your financial options are now severely limited if you cannot work for men or for women who've retained the "benefits" of their heterosexuality. The larger your group grows, the harder your ability to limit interaction, unless, as you state, extreme measures (commune's are fucking tough). It will be hard to grow if you cut yourselves off not only from men, but also most women. If you keep up with those women, you'll be seen as quaintly hypocritical at best, utter failures from the get go at worst.

You seem really committed to fighting this thing that is never ever going to affect you.

I mean I think lesbian separatism is silly too, but this has really stuck in your craw.

popcorn.gif

My god, just get over it already.

Chard here, can't log in on phone for some reason.

I'm over it, but I'm also no longer obligated to shore up his crap arguments. I'm going to argue with him like anyone else.

Lesbian separatism is a silly thing to argue against unless you're a queer woman they're bugging. They will literally have no impact on you. There are barely any of them in the first place. Especially when the best thing you have to dredge up is some commune that failed in the seventies (like just about all the other communes).

Wait, you were obligated to support his arguments at one point?

You tend to support people you love, dude. Nobody made me. I rarely disagreed mind. I'm no longer thus constrained.

Re: Lesbian Separatists

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chard, I love you

Why aren't we allowed to think things are stupid just because they don't impact us? I'm an actual lesbian, and I find this absurd. I'm all for supporting businesses owned by women, etc, but "separating"? Lol that's fucking ridiculous and I'm very comfortable saying so. Noodles is in the right to call this out.

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