[ SECRET POST #3023 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3023 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #432.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[silverr]

On one hand, the age doesn't really matter, does it? It's over the internet, you're not hitting on her, and it's not like she's 12 (Do make sure she's not 12 (or even 15) if you're discusing shippy/porny things.)

Perhaps it only feels weird because it's fandom, rather than, say, classical music or cooking or Impressionist painters? Though I can understand the weirdness; when I got back into fandom after I had kids, it felt weird to be interacting with teenagers and college students, because fandom is still seen by some as a childish/adolescent interest. Participating when you're older is considered by some to be creepy (and yes, I was told this; and for a number of years it made me feel ashamed of liking fannish things.)

I'd say, if you're really feeling uncomfortable, wait for a conversational opportunity that lets you drop a reference that (for example) identifies the decade you went to college, or how much time has passed since you graduated, or when your ten year reunion is?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I don't feel like age really matters, either, but I know it does to some people.

No, I'm not hitting on her (I'm not into girls), we're not even discussing porn, and I do not know her exact age either, but I know she's in college and has a car & driver's licence.

Re: OP

[silverr]

While I do agree with the nonny who said that deception isn't a good basis for a friendship, I think that, in general, not disclosing a detail that's not important (your hair color, your birthday, your grandmother's maiden name) isn't a breaking point if the question hasn't come up.

But it does sound like you're feeling the weird, OP, and so for your own happiness I'd say, "Hey, I know it hasn't come up but I just wanted to let you know I'm 32. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable, but I really felt I needed to let you know."

If they're a good person/good friend then they'll pretty much respond with something like "Pish, such a silly thing to worry about!"