fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3033 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3033 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Kushiel's Legacy]

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03.

[The Young Sherlock Holmes]

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04.

[Blake's 7]

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05.

[Doc Martin]

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06.

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07. http://i.imgur.com/XWQxPJy.jpg?2
[linked for close up shot of naked butt]

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08.

[Disney]

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09.

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10.

[Phantom of the Opera/Twilight]

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11.

[Captain America]

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12.

[Spec Ops: The Line]

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13. [SPOILERS for Final Fantasy XIV - A Realm Reborn]

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14. [SPOILERS for Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Episode VII)]

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15. [WARNING for incest]

[Folgers Coffee Commercial]

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16. [WARNING for suicide, emotional abuse]

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17. [WARNING for suicide]

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18. [WARNING for abusive parenting, domestic abuse]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #433.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(Because a lot of people are horrible in general)

This goes for porn audiences and creators, too. So what you're seeing in porn might be completely awful and exploitative, because it's either made by awful and exploitative people or for an audience that generally likes seeing awful and exploitative things.

This gets really important when you're talking about BDSM, because it makes someone so much more vulnerable. Example: It's gotten to the point where I probably wouldn't date a dude who describes himself as "dominant" or "a dom" because I know from personal experience and the experience of others that there's a very good chance that he's a shitty person and he uses being "a dom" as an excuse to be shitty to women. If all their fetishes are about hurting or demeaning women you probably don't want to be with him, even if you're into being hurt or demeaned. Obviously not everyone's like that but you do what you need to to feel safe.

However, fiction or fanfic often isn't like that, for two reasons. First, you might have a context for the characters; you know Dom Character actually likes Sub Character. You know Sub Character's actually into it.

On the other hand, it might be awful and exploitative stuff! But it's still not happening to a real flesh and blood person. So it doesn't feel bad.

In short: there's nothing to feel weird about here. You do what you like.

Edited 2015-04-24 23:22 (UTC)

Usually I find you come across as a bit condescending tbh, but this comment has made me entirely re-evaluate you as a human being.

Yeah, there's fiction that makes 50 Shades look like an afternoon with Mr. Rogers. (Some of it written by an ex.)

Yeah, this is pretty much spot-on.

Well said.

Speaking as someone who is a switch and currently in a D/s relationship where I am the domme, yes to all of this. Someone announcing they're a dominant or dom right out the gate is pretty much a red flag for me, because of much the reason you've said. Excepting discussions about BDSM that come up naturally in learning more about what each other likes, or a specific "what are you into" type discussion. And dear gods if it's online and they insist on using capital letter D, or, gods, insists on calling themselves a Dominate, RUN.

Dominate makes me think of someone who laminates things in a very domineering way.

[ SECRET POST #3033 ]

A lot of people into BDSM are horrible.

+1

Re: A lot of people into BDSM are horrible.

Re: A lot of people into BDSM are horrible.

Re: A lot of people into BDSM are horrible.

Re: A lot of people into BDSM are horrible.

Re: A lot of people into BDSM are horrible.