fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3107 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3107 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[Fire Emblem: Fates]

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03.

[Ocean's 11]

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04.

[Little Nicky]

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05.

[Devil Survivor 2]

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06.

[Sens8]

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08.

[Mariqueen Reznor]

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09.

[Battle Creek]

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10.

[Lucifer (TV)]

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11.

[Neil Gaiman]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 037 secrets from Secret Submission Post #444.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How about the realization that my family was REALLY fucked up even though it felt normal to me at the time?

I was never physically abused, though my parents believed in spanking, but I don't remember any serious spankings and I was always really obedient so I hardly ever got any at all, anyway. My dad's a big intimidating guy but I always knew he loved me, even if he could be kinda severe sometimes.

So one day he is looking through this box he got at a yard sale, and takes out this little toy like, plastic retractable knife? I would have used it for like, a prop for a play or something. It's the kind that you push it and the plastic blade goes inside the handle so it looks like the blade is actually going into whatever/whoever you're "stabbing".

My dad wasn't expecting to find it and kinda laughed and turned to me and got this fake angry voice, "I told you to do your chores!" and fake-stabbed me in the side.

And I freaked the fuck out.

Like, panicky, sobbing, really believed for a second there my dad had fucking STABBED me.

He was horrified, I was upset, and it was really disturbing to me afterwards, like - what's WRONG with me and/or my family that I actually thought for a second he'd DO that?

I told this story to a friend at college who thought my dad was just terrible for doing it at all, even if he was joking. Thoughts? :/

*braces self*

No, I completely get where you're coming from, and I definitely know what you mean about having that kind of weird atmosphere around the home.

I'm sorry, anon *hugs if wanted*

Nothing was wrong with you. Your parents created an atmosphere where your dad was to be feared. I don't find it surprising, given his "severe" track record, that you might have found him capable of the violent act, even for a moment. Especially if you witnessed any progression with the punishments from a "big intimidating guy."

Fake-stabbing someone with a plastic retractable knife is the kind of thing that would happen between siblings. It's not an appropriate thing for a parent to do to their own child... unless, of course, it's some weird in-joke you have between the two of you, and it's been made clear beforehand that nothing malicious/hurtful/hateful is involved.

I think the reason you freaked out even though your dad was joking is because 1) he was "severe" in the past and 2) in fake-yelling at you, he tied the joke to his treatment/discipline of you as a child. From what I gather, the discipline/intimidation is a bit of a sensitive spot for you, and it sounds like your dad was either clueless about it, or was being a deliberate jerk, or in some way was trying to soften his image of having been an asshole during discipline (or whichever time he was being "severe"). It's already an awkward situation when an intimidating person tries joking with someone who is clearly afraid of him. A joke only works when the person on the receiving end finds it funny. Unfortunately, your dad picked a really, really shitty one to use on you.

I admit I'm looking at your situation through a dirty lens, so I may be off the mark. I had a parental unit who had a habit of joking about things from the past, especially if they were responsible for ruining said things for me. And when all these television reports came out about how yelling was considered verbal abuse, they would pull some Pavlov dog bullshit where they would fake-scream my name across the house until I got pissed off and screamed back, and then they'd say something "nice," as though I'd be conditioned to believe that being screamed at was healthy. In my childhood, screaming accompanied physical abuse during punishments, by parental unit. So yeah. Guess who I don't talk to anymore?

[ SECRET POST #3107 ]

Re: Families, realizations about, etc.

Re: Families, realizations about, etc.

Re: Families, realizations about, etc.