fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3127 ]

[ SECRET POST #3127 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3127 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #447.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I am so sick of my Dad. He is treating me like a fucking maid. I spent hours yesterday preparing a delicious Indian curry and today he whines at me that putting it into a bowl is too hard and could I serve him, please?

I also spent several hours making cabbage stuffed Chinese buns, which I froze to be prepared. All you have to fucking do is boil some water, put them in a steamer for 15 minutes, soy sauce, done. I suggested that to him as a dinner option for him to prepare HIMSELF. I wrote instructions ON THE BAG. He couldn't do it. He said, "Are you going to make those fluffy things?" I'm sick of it and I said "No." He badmouths me to my brother and Mom, saying "She said she was going to prepare me supper. She lied to me. I hate liars. It's disgusting."

He doesn't do any dishes. Any laundry. I'm tired. I'm so sick of him. He's like a baby, he can't do anything by himself and doesn't know how to fucking cook. He is 65 fucking years old.

what do your mom and brother do?

My Mom usually cooks for him like a baby. My brother cannot cook and is in the middle of taking the bar exam. My Mom left with my brother to help him during the bar exam and stay at a hotel, so I'm alone with the baby for 3 days.

I told him he could prepare himself some pasta for all I cared and he started whining and saying I was depriving him and now he's treating me like shit, glaring at me, sulking.

Sounds like my father.

Maybe offer a trade? I know my dad can't cook, but he'll do other things like mow the lawn. Or he'll do the groceries or something else.

He never does anything besides go to work and sit his ass on the couch and watch TV. All day, every day. I do the same amount of work he does and then I have to come home and serve him.

If you're living at home rent-free then it might be an issue.

As unfair as it is, if your dad can play the "you're living under my roof for free" card then you can't exactly order him to do anything.

At best, in this situation, you can ignore him -- remind him that you work just as much as he does, have had a long day, and are tired and that he's a grown man who can take care of himself.

If you can't actually say that to him, then try to ignore -- keep occupied maybe.

You're working? Full-time? Time to move out, BB.

Tbh if you're living at your parents' home, as an adult, and assuming they don't have you pay rent... I think it should be expected that you make an extra effort to help with the cooking and cleaning. I'm not saying your dad is being reasonable, but I can sympathize and even agree with parents who expect their adult children to do extra around the house.

(especially assuming the adult in question is post college age and not a student of any sort, and is working a full time job)

I'm working full-time and attending law school at night.

...so you shouldn't be expected to help out around a rent-free house?

What about "I cooked for several hours each day", including all of the cleaning up involved, doesn't sound like helping out to you?

What did "I'm not saying your dad is being reasonable" sound like to you?

I was commenting on the general expectation of people helping out around the house, not saying your dad should never have to cook for himself because you're around.

Okay, I misunderstood. It's just a lot of work and when I'm doing school and doing full-time work I think it's ridiculous that I also have to put food I prepared on a plate for him and put it in the microwave.

I completely agree and sorry if I came across like a dick. I was commenting on something that maybe was out of place in this topic, mostly inspired by several twenty-something-year-old acquaintances who live at home and throw tantrums whenever their parents ask them to maybe do the laundry or something. I don't think it's unreasonable if your parents ask you to prepare meals every once in again if you have the time, but waiting on your dad is something else completely.

OP is not your relative, and if you'd taken off your personal blinders for a second to actually pay attention to what they were saying, you'd have seen that their Dad is essentially treating them like the help. Not cool.

Re: Rant thread!

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-28 00:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant thread!

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-28 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant thread!

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-28 00:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant thread!

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-28 00:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant thread!

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-28 02:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Rant thread!

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-28 06:01 (UTC) - Expand

Oh so you're another one of those commenters who has to project your dissatisfaction with personal acquaintances onto strangers on the internet

Guessing by the ultra defensiveness of random anons, I assume there's lots of people living at home who hate helping out lmao

Or there's a difference between "helping out" and "being the literal maid so everyone else can fuck off."

Don't be an ass.

Cooking meals is helping. Preparing meals ahead of time that can be easily warmed up is helping. You do not have to wait hand and foot on an able-bodied person who can't be arsed to ladle food into a bowl by themselves in order for all that helping to count.

Wow, your dad sounds awful. I wouldn't give him to his demands, either, but I'm guessing your mom has, for decades. Because I'm a shit, I'd make a point of asking him why he thinks it's too difficult for him, or why he's okay with being so helpless and dependent on other people to feed him.

My sympathies, OP. :( Hope you can get out of the house soon.

Stop enabling his ass and/or move out.

Then when you do your mom can whine to you about what a maid she is for him, and whine to him about how come you never come home.

Sorry. Dirty lens here.

Preparing food in advance and leaving instructions for serving is already a hell of a lot of work for someone working AND studying.
SO: prepare, leave him a sheet of instructions, and then say, "Sorry, I have another shift," or "See you tomorrow morning, have a class", and LEAVE THE HOUSE. Go to a cafe. Go to the library. Hell, chill out at a friends. He can't nag someone who isn't THERE. He'll HAVE to get off his butt and do it himself. If he complains later, so be it. You don't have to pay any attention.
Because it's not even about the food - it's about ATTENTION. He wants people to cater to him and pay attention to him. Even if you did everything he wanted, he'd STILL complain because complaining gets you attention and listened to and pitied. It's a very toxic behavior pattern.

Why do you try so hard if he doesn't even thank/respect you? You should totally not put up with a grown man's bullshit, regardless of relation. (Speaking from experience)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only