fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3141 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3141 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

people can do it all they want, but the way it's expressed (especially, as you said, in terms of straight men's perceptions of women) really annoys me because it belies some nasty attitudes. :/

I hate when people act like their numbers are objective

That's the issue, not the numbers being used at all

NA ^^THIS

I think there's an extra level of dehumanising the way so many men tend to do it about women with each other, but women acting like men are some objective (hdu not agree!) "hot" or "ugly" bugs the fuck out of me too.

May I ask, what "nasty attitudes"?

And I respect you so want this to turn into a nasty internet argument, so let me be sporting and mention that I will be asking the follow up questions:
"What evidence do you have of these attitudes being present?"
"Why do you believe these attitudes are present in especially in men who do this to women?"
"Is it not possible that you are inferring these attitudes based on your own expectations of the men who do it, rather than them actually being implied?"

I mostly see it used by the same guys who make generalizations/sexist statements about women/gender in general, ascribe to MRA-style thinking, etc.

~~you sound like a defensive dude here tbh~~

Yeah, I am a little defensive, I don't like how people ascribe shitty thing to men and never question why they do it other than "Everyone knows its only those types of guys" without actually acknowledging the flawed nature of the generalisation. like "Oh I was only talking about the dickheads" Means they can forget about the fact that they just made a generalisation, rather than thinking "Oh shit, that's probably upsetting if you're not a dickhead".

Anyway, in this case, you said "but the way it's expressed" but your justification is "used by the same guys" which sounds more like your objection more about who does it and not how they do it. That being the case, this seems like one of those circular lines of

Disregard above. Finger slipped mid type.

Yeah, I am a little defensive, I don't like how people ascribe shitty thing to men and never question why they do it other than "Everyone knows its only those types of guys" without actually acknowledging the flawed nature of the generalisation. like "Oh I was only talking about the dickheads" Means they can forget about the fact that they just made a generalisation, rather than thinking "Oh shit, that's probably upsetting to hear if you're not a dickhead" and then there's the whole thing of "If you complain about something upsetting you (especially if your a guy) you deserve to be upset" Which is another example of the type of logic I don't like "MRA's complain about mens treatment, MRA's are usually dickheads, so if you're complaining about being mens treatment, you must be a dickhead too".

Anyway, in this case, you said "but the way it's expressed" but your justification is "used by the same guys" which sounds more like your objection more about who does it and not how they do it. That being the case, this seems like one of those circular lines of reasoning:

You experience asshole doing X
You think assholes do X
You think only assholes do X
You see person A doing X
You believe Person A is an asshole and avoid them. Never find out if they're not an asshole.
Goes into you're mental asshole bank
Repeat.

okaaaay but. There's a correlation there. It really is mostly assholes doing it. Why do you think it is?

And it's a bit hard to put my finger on it atm, but the thing in and of itself is kinda creepy. It's like looking at a woman and all you can even process about her is the way she looks. It's usually said in a really flippant way, and often a dude's first response to seeing a picture of a woman somewhere (among dudes who do it).

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