fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3153 ]

[ SECRET POST #3153 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3153 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"And all the pro-breast feeding propaganda ("it's best for the child! breast feeding is natural!") completely disregards the mothers who do not want to breast feed."

I don't mean to be snarky here and you do what you want, but... this complaint isn't very logical. It "disregards" mothers who don't want to breast feed because it's based on the concept that the health of the child is prioritized over one's personal preferences. Most parents would prefer not to change shit-filled diapers or get baby piss in their hair or wake up every two hours in the middle of the night, too. Some parents might have real horrors about non-vegan diets, but they wouldn't get much sympathy if they prioritized their (undeniably strong) feelings over a baby's welfare.

DA

OK, but there are legit medical reasons that some women can't breastfeed. OP doesn't fit that criteria, but what I'm saying is, breastfeeding is not always some instant-must-do-easy-la-la-la thing for everyone immediately after popping out the kid.

Oh, absolutely. I'm talking about the scenario the previous anon laid out, though, where there's no medical reason for not breastfeeding, only a personal preference. Albeit a deeply held one. Like I said, do what you want, but there's a reason why pro-breastfeeding propaganda doesn't take "I just don't wanna because I don't like the idea" into consideration. They're not very charitable toward mothers who would like to breastfeed and aren't able to, and that's pretty shitty of them. So I don't why anyone would expect them to be MORE understanding toward women who simply don't feel like it.

The difference being that there is an alternative. Diapers have to be changed. Breastfeeding isn't necessary. There is an alternative today. Forcing women to use formula when they want to breastfeed is bad, but forcing women to breastfeed when they want to use formula is equally bad.

This! Thank you.

It's an alternative, but it's an inferior alternative when it comes to nutrition and building up a child's immunity. This is not to say that women shouldn't use formula if they need to and I'm not in favor of forcing women to breastfeed, but I also don't want to pretend like formula isn't the lesser option in significant ways.

Slightly lesser, yes. But formula can still give a child the nutrition necessary and immunity can be built up in other ways. No child has ever been hurt by being fed formula rather than breastfed (unless the formula is being watered down). So judging women for choosing not to breastfeed is not okay whatever her reason.

"So judging women for choosing not to breastfeed is not okay whatever her reason."

I can't agree completely with this. Yes, there are legitimate reasons why some women don't breastfeed, such as being unable to do so. Yes, I agree they absolutely shouldn't be judged for not doing something that is physically impossible. But I don't think all reasons are equally valid.

Let's say that a parent is deciding which school to send their kid to, School A and School B. Now let's say that it's generally agreed that out of those two options, School A provides the best education. School B is good... but not quite as good. Now let's say that School A costs $5,000/month while School B costs $4,500/month, which is surely going to figure into the decision making when the parent chooses a school.

Now, if a parent can only afford the $4,500/month tuition, it'd be heartless to blame them for not sending their kid to School A instead of School B. Only dicks would judge them for not having the money for the best school. But if the parent has the money to pay for School A yet chooses School B because they prefer to spend the extra $500/month on say, pot and pizza and other fun stuff for themselves instead of tuition, is that just as valid a decision as the parent who can't afford School A?

Parenting involves a great deal of self sacrifice. Not everyone's prepared to do it or they have varying levels of self-sacrifice and while for the most part it's good not to judge... well, there are some circumstances where judging is appropriate, IMO.

Whaaaaat. Breastfeeding is self-sacrifice now is it? Actually it's usually a lot easier. Speaking from experience of both.

If you don't want to do it, you probably have your reasons and I ain't gonna question them. Formula is fine. Parenting is a morass of choices and compromises.

Your posh analogy is so boring and unrealistic.

That is not a good comparison. Breasts are part of a woman's body. If she doesn't want to breastfeed, that is her choice about what to do with her body. That is nothing like choosing schools.

I wasn't breast fed after the first few days because my mother developed an infection. Except for a few to-be-expected childhood illnesses, I was practically never ill as a child. Sure there's statistical chances, but I really wish people would stop pretending like non-breastfed people are borderline immuno-compromised.

I agree, that was badly phrased of me. But what I meant to say was that they're not very charitable towards women like me, and they also act like all women want to breast feed.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3153 ]

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