fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3157 ]

[ SECRET POST #3157 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3157 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #451.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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About as tumblr as it gets:

"I’m Suzanna/Zan and I’m a quaint English genderfluid demigirl. Most of the time I’m femmegender.

My pronouns are any of she/her/herself, he/him/himself, they/them/themself, or it/it’s/itself, but I really prefer the later so please refer to me with it pronouns if possible!

It’s really hard for me to tell my sexual and romantic attractions because of brain reasons but I’m probably affectusexual, often (but not always) asexual and slightly touch-repulsed during my depressive episodes and hyper-sexual and pansexual during my manic episodes, I also relate to all the terms here to some extent (http://steampunk-medusa.tumblr.com/post/121508520577/penicillium-pusher-neurodiversity-is-the)

Illnesses/Brainweird stuff

I have a fuckton of issues, including:

Histrionic Personality Disorder (so please remember these guidelines when interacting with me!)
I get Dissociation and I’m pretty sure I suffer from PTSD and/or C-PTSD.
To a lesser extent I also suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder so please check out these guidelines for dealing with me when it flares up again.
Half-hearted eating disorder recovery going on, kinda aspects of most eating disorders tbh
Anxiety disorders, not sure exactly which ones (probably plural)
Half diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (diagnosed by my counsellor but she hasn’t got the qualifications to diagnose me properly)
Insomnia (comes and goes in cycles)
I am Psychotic and get delusions and occasionally hallucinations! If you use that word as a slur around me, I will get very pissed with you!

Stuff I tag for my illnesses can be found here.

My C-PTSD stuff is related to childhood #abuse and #CSA stuff so be careful, I blog about it regularly because it has had a huge impact on my life

Blacklist

Please please PLEASE tag these things, if I see them even briefly I dissociate for days!

#gorillaz

[#suzanna don’t look] OR [#suzanna dont look] for that one post where the little girl is symbolised as a teddy bear and it talks about her being raped and forced into giving birth

#csa tw (but only really if you wont tag that post ^ for me)

#forced pregnancy tw

#tokophobia tw (pregnancy horror stories, birthing horror stories, gifs of organs being pushed out the way by a growing embryo etc)

General Stuff

I like silk and satin and pretty girls and boys with cheekbones and shadowy eyes and people who are living proof that there’s a damn good reason the gender binary doesn’t exist.

I am white and I try not to fuck up but if I do then I am truly sorry! Never feel bad about calling me out, I always want to learn and I don’t want to offend people so please feel free to message me if I mess up! However, I know it’s not your job to teach me so if you want to just unfollow then no hard feelings :)

I am in a relationship and occasionally I talk about it!! The tag for it is Alex so feel free to blacklist it if you so wish. I also tag everything to do with it as ‘romo tw’ just in case!

I’m a raging feminist, obviously, and pro choice, sex-worker supporting and sex neutral (in that I think that I don’t believe that sex is an inherently good or bad thing and I don’t like ‘sex positive’ or ‘sex negative’ as a term because they make it sound like if you don’t feel either positively or negatively about sex, you are ‘wrong’.)

However, if you’re a man with a nasty ass rape fantasy or something PLEASE GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG

According to this test I am a child of Hades though I think being a badass child of Aphrodite seems more like me

My current url is based off this post and I plan on riding the apocalyptic steampunk winter disaster vibe straight to hell.

Privileges

I am privileged in these areas (I may update if I remember more of my privileges)

I’m thin/curvy and conventionally attractive
I’m ablebodied (as far as my mental health allows me to be)
I’m white
I live in the country I was born in (I don’t get abused about immigration and language barriers)
I’m dfab (I don’t experience transmisogyny)
I’m not intersex
I’m highly functioning in my illnesses and can live around them as much as possible
I’m in a nuclear family
I’m middle class and don’t struggle for money
I’m not a sex worker

The Spoon Meter

The spoon meter is a simple way for me to express my energy levels and ability to do things thanks to my illnesses, without having to outwardly state it, with no spoons meaning I have no energy/motivation to do anything and five spoons meaning I can take on the day and have the most energy.

If two and a half spoons or fewer are showing, I may not reply to asks/messages. Please be gentle, I will reply to you as soon as I feel up to it. Feel free to message me if you feel that I may have forgotten or lost one of your asks, but if you’re rude then will not react kindly. I will try to reply to important questions as soon as possible, however!

Thank you to @slightly-oblivvyous and @lizzledpink for making it so easy to put a meter on your blog! I’m truly hopeless with coding but it’s explained so clearly even I could do it!

You can find out more about the spoons, including how to put them on your blog, here, here, and here.

Please don’t use the Spoon Meter on your blog if you’re healthy or suffering from non-chronic illness such as the flu! Look at the third link for more information on why that would be completely inappropriate."

Sighhhh. I don't doubt it has some real life issues that make things really hard for itself, and mental illness issues/trauma can make one pretty awkward and pedantic and cautious, but it is so so damn precious about everyfuckingthing. Would not befriend.

"Half diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (diagnosed by my counsellor but she hasn’t got the qualifications to diagnose me properly)"

This explains everything.

That one doesn't actually seem that bad to me, more like a messed-up kid trying to deal with their problems by categorising everything.

+1 mte

I am insanely curious about the "no gorillaz" thing.

Otherwise, eh, they seem pretty much like the above anon said -- just kind of messed up and wanting to categorize everything about them that they think (or others have made them think) is "weird" in order to feel in control.

Well, if they were raped/otherwise abused as a kid by a Gorillaz fan, or with their music playing in the background or something, I could see that being a problem for them. And honestly I think most tumblr over-categorizing stuff comes from people trying to figure themselves out, and, often, from thinking that everyone should be similarly interested in that level of self-discovery navel-gazing, and if you're not interested you're dismissing something that they use to make sense of the world and themselves. If it bugs you because you think it's silly or histrionic or annoying, just block them.

I love how they list Histronic Personality Disorder first, and then the rest is basically just a list of symptoms.

Well, it could follow from the trauma from the child sexual abuse they went through.

Looked up Histrionic Personality Disorder. Primarily attention-seeking, hmm. They often act out a role (such as victim or princess) in relation to others, hmm. They crave novelty, stimulation and excitement. I guess this all spells special snowflake tumblr bio syndrome. But that said, I'm sure negotiating their life and mentalscape is super difficult and I sympathise. (I wouldn't say this stuff to their face.)

I've never heard of anyone being triggered by Community Supported Agriculture before.

Also, I don't live in the country I was born in and I've never been "abused about immigration and language barriers." It's not that simplistic.

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