[ SECRET POST #3167 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3167 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

So this fandom semi-BMF (I guess?) wrote an long opinion about something and considers themselves a relative expert about it. I commented about it and I said, the merest, not even really a, like the slightest disagreement about one aspect while agreeing with the rest...and got a lengthy response telling me that I was absolutely wrong. So I just sent another (anonymous) ask essentially saying, "I was just taking x into account while you focused on just y" and now I'm regretting I said anything at all, while I await the response which will probably be the same as the first. Is it even possible to mildly disagree about things on the internet amongst strangers? I just wanted to share a thought without it being interpreted as a start of an argument, ugh.

Re: shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

Ughhhh yeah my sympathies. It should be possible to mildly disagree, and some people are really open to it, but less on the internet with relative strangers, than face to face with someone with an established bond, I think. Some people are really hair-trigger about being what they perceive as being criticised or being called ~wrong, and this semi-BMF sounds ridiculous in their fragile ego, frankly. I think it was reasonable for you to attempt to communicate in that way, and the most interesting discussion in fandom comes from constructively sharing and comparing different perspectives, pity you had to get a condescending lecture/s in response :/

Re: shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

Even when I was ending the.....conversation....they were citing page numbers at me in response to why I was wrong lmao sigh. I was definitely hoping for a fun exchange but yeah, got lectured instead. Suuucks.

Re: shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

One of the BNFs of my fandom is like this. She'd start a friendly seeming conversation as if she only wanted to discuss this thing you both were interested in. If you agreed with her, you got a gushing BFF lovefest. If you disagreed in any way, holy shit brace yourself for a barrage of courtroom drama where she argues how wrong you are, because [pages of citations and proof that the things you like are WRONG].

Do yourself a favor: AVOID. People who are that pedantic have some psychological need to always be right and always have the last word. It's not personal, but they'll make you miserable with their drama, anyway.

Re: shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

Oh yeah, I've had that too. It's incredibly annoying. In my case, it was a really small corner of a fandom, so there were very few people to talk to and squee with. And this one fan just dominated the conversation and if you slightly disagreed with her on one thing, or even brought up a point that wasn't on her 'agenda', she'd go off on you. After a while I just ignored her, but it sort of meant ignoring all of that fandom. It didn't ruin the experience, but...The ironic thing is that she always welcomed newbies and talked about how welcoming and friendly our group was.

Re: shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

That sounds....incredibly annoying! I've had my share of small fandoms, but luckily I've never been in one with a self-declared "boss" figure or w/e. I'd probably leave if so. Bad fandom experiences can definitely ruin my enjoyment by association, unfortunately.

Re: shakes fist

[(Anonymous)]

""Is it even possible to mildly disagree about things on the internet amongst strangers?"

Yeah, if they're reasonable strangers. The person you describe doesn't sound like a reasonable person to me, though, so you're probably wasting any effort by responding to them.