[ SECRET POST #3172 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3172 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.
(Ollie Locke)


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.
[Forever]


__________________________________________________



10.



__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.
[Doctor Who]












Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 013 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Recently I was walking through an area where no one else was around, and realized there was a guy behind me. I sped up very quickly until I got to some shops.

I'm worried I was being sexist, because if it had been an eighteen year old girl, I probably wouldn't have been nervous, even though an eighteen year girl old could've ended up mugging me. WAS it sexist? Or just cautious?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

go borrow 'the gift of fear' from the library and keep trusting your instincts. look, honestly the likelihood is it was just a dude on a walk, but hands down if you're a woman being followed by some random dude, it's better to be cautious.

like, you don't have to go full ass mode on someone like that, but there is NOTHING WRONG with being cautious and taking care to manage your own safety.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

This. Don't put worrying about hurting someone's feelings above your own safety.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - Thanks. It WAS the way you can get to a specific group of stores, and sure enough he was going there too, which I suspected but wasn't 100% sure of.

I appreciate your reassurance. :)

^ Misfire, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry about that.

Okay, it wasn't a misfire

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, I got confused. Stupid computer.

So thanks again. :)

Re: Okay, it wasn't a misfire

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt - you're welcome. We get fed a lot of weird mixed signals that make us reconsider our instincts sometimes and it's not really the best thing. Not to go all Oprah, but that book really changed up how I thought about my safety.

at the same time, no, danger isn't around every corner, so the lesson isn't to live in fear. it's to understand what's setting the fear off and when you should listen to it.

Re: Okay, it wasn't a misfire

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - That makes sense.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

My reaction is to say no way are you being sexist but

what if you were in an area where statistically speaking you would be at risk from someone from another type of social group, such as homeless or a disenfranchised racial minority?

I got assaulted by a black homeless guy once because I ignored my instincts, but I've never spoken about it because I don't want to feed into racist dialogues, well except now I guess.

:/

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

* I guess you don't have to be from "another type" of social group, though, but I am white, not that that means I'm necessarily at more risk

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

fwiw 'I didn't trust my instincts and got mugged by a homeless black guy' is, imo, pretty far from saying that all black dudes are going to mug you.

I know the story can still get twisted either way, I totally understand. There's also the questions of 'is it my instincts or is it just internalized racism?' and that can be a hard thing to chew over. In general, once you're really aware of your own instincts this can get easier.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - I'm sorry that happened to you! :(

I think you're allowed to say it happened. It's not racist. He happened to be black and homeless.

Re: Vent thread

[caerbannog]

No anon?

Last night I crossed the road to avoid a group of young Indian men walking their mastiff. I wasn't particularly concerned over them beyond "group of ppl at night" but I'm just erring on the side of caution. If it was daylight I prob wouldn't have bothered but cause it's night I felt safer and more comfortable by crossing the road.

Which I'm allowed to do lol and so are you.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, I wouldn't consider that sexist. I'd get a little jumpy, too, in that situation, especially depending on the time of day I'm walking or if the guy is continually walking straight behind me. He may be heading to the same place I am by sheer coincidence, he may take the same path I'm taking to a certain point and then turn off somewhere else, but even so, I would still be on alert anyway.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

always follow your instincts when it comes to your safety, anon

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

That strikes me as dangerous advice. "Instincts" are often just the name we give various ingrained prejudices and assumptions, and some people's are much, much worse than others.