[ SECRET POST #3173 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3173 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.


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03.


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04.


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05.
[Detroit Metal City]


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06.
(Gravity Falls, Criminal Minds)


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07.


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08. [SPOILERS for X-Files (new series)]



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09. [SPOILERS for Sly Cooper 4: Thieves In Time]



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10. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 2]




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11. [SPOILERS for Steven Universe]



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12. [WARNING for sexual assault]

[Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders]


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13. [WARNING for rape and assault]

[Hockey RPF]











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #453.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm having such a bad reaction to secret 13 and I didn't want to derail their thread. "He hurts women, he hurts women," he hurts people, he hurts people. Isn't people enough? The phrasing of that just... bothers me so much, like women are helpless infants.

I don't know, am I being irrational?

Ftr I agree with the sentiment of the secret, the player in question is a gigantic asshole that shouldn't be celebrated. It's the phrasing

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe the secret maker is a woman? Maybe they're thinking about it in the same way as a gay person would think "This person hurts gay people, he hurts gay people", as in he hurts people that are like them.

I could be wrong but it's just a thought.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

I assumed it was a woman making the secret. I'd have the same reaction to "he hurts gay people" too. I don't know why it bothers me so much.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

SA

Maybe it is the "people like me" thing. Imagining a man wrote the secret makes me feel better about it, not worse, now that you bring it up. The sentiment of "he's bad because he hurts people like me" and not "he's bad because he hurts people at all"?

I'm sure that's not what OP meant to say, but that might be why the phrasing bugs me

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

This is a good point.

Re: Stupid questions.

[sarillia]

I think the idea is that not only is he hurting people, which is always bad, but there's probably some prejudice mixed in there that adds to it. You're not obligated to find that argument compelling though. There's a big mess of conflicting negative ideas and reactions about and to women (like balancing acknowledging the dangers that are more common to women with not being condescending and acting like they're helpless here). Not everyone is going to be most bothered by the same ones.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

I think this is it.

If someone's just harming members of one group, there's probably more going on there. I mean, we don't say "Ted Bundy murdered people," we say "Ted Bundy murdered women," because he *specifically murdered women* and had serious issues when it comes to women.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Ted Bundy murdered a whole lot of women because they were women, though.

Someone with a history of DV like Chris Brown isn't going after women because they're women, they're going after whoever they're in a relationship with. I think it's a little disingenuous to say that "Chris Brown hurts women," and more accurate to say "he is an abusive person." The women are incidental to his sexuality

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

SA

I meant to say "he is an abuser"* not only "abusive".

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Chris Brown is straight. He's not going to be in a relationship with a man. He's in relationships with women. He beats women. He hurts women.

If there was someone in your friend group who consistently steals iPhones, and only iPhones, would you say, "No, he only steals iPhones because he likes iPhones. The iPhones are incidental to his stealing. He steals things."

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Absolutely. I'd say he's a thief who steals only the things he likes. But what he is, is a thief and a criminal.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Is he abusive to his male friends too?

Also I think if you're abusive in romantic relationships, it's definitely fair to say you hurt women if you only date women, or that you hurt men if you only date men...because it's only members of those groups that you're hurting.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I've heard he's abusive in general.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

No, sorry, DV survivor say it is absolutely not disingenuous to say straight male domestic abusers are usually misogynists. Abuse is tied to power imbalances, where one party does not respect the other, and serial abusers will specifically seek out people that fit a type that they abuse, nothing incidental about it. He isn't just punching random people on the street, he is seeking out women to abuse. He is hurting women, that isn't unfair to say.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Usually specifying that a person hurts a certain group is also pointing out that the group is marginalized, therefor calling the context and motivation of the violence into the picture, which is important. A man who punches any random person he meets is one type of bad, a man who specifically seeks out one group of people to specifically punch is a different type of bad.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

this reads scarily like "but All Lives Matter, we all bleed red, we're all the same human race"

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

That's a different scenario.

Like, I would set the bar for not being a fan of someone far lower than systematic brutality.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

And that's also a valid point. What's your point?

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

It's different, though. The issue with Black Lives Matter is that it's considered, on various levels, ACCEPTABLE to kill black people. Kill a black person, there's millions of folks who'll bend over backwards to explain how it's not really murder, they deserved it, etc.

The reason "He hurts women" is emphasized here is because society considers it less acceptable to hurt/kill women, and more acceptable to hurt/kill men. Thus, if you want to make people dislike someone, emphasize that they're not doing something acceptable.

Don't believe me? Keep track the next time you watch a movie or a TV show. If someone kills a woman, they're almost definitely the villain. If someone kills a man, they're just as likely (slightly more, in fact) to be the hero.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

OP of thread

"The reason "He hurts women" is emphasized here is because society considers it less acceptable to hurt/kill women, and more acceptable to hurt/kill men. Thus, if you want to make people dislike someone, emphasize that they're not doing something acceptable."

That hit it, I think! Thank you. I think that was what was bothering me, that it sounded like it was even less acceptable because the victims were women... but if something is "less" acceptable then it implies something is "more" acceptable...

Black Lives Matter is fighting for the side already that's considered "more" acceptable, so that's different.

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

??????????


keep track of REAL LIFE. women are killed by men all the time, especially in domestic violence situations. holy crap, man, what are you on?

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

Men are killed by men more often. VASTLY more often if we include suicides and war deaths, but still substantially more often if we just count murders. Does it weird you out that you've never heard that before? Do you think it should?

Re: Stupid questions.

[(Anonymous)]

it also weird me out to why are men very eager enough to not consider on hurt/kill someone while keeping situation in check?

oh, they are. it just uncountable for.

i already think men does this thing like it was nothing.

Speciesist!

[(Anonymous)]

Some of us are reptiles, punk!

Re: Speciesist!

[(Anonymous)]

Dang it, Bob! You weren't supposed to tell anybody!