fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3176 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3176 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Journey]

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[Absolutely Fabulous]

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(Sam Smith, Lana Del Rey, Shirley Bassey, Ellie Goulding)

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[Tim Drake, DC Comics]

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[Wakako-zake]

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[FIFA, World Soccer Championship]

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[Fear The Walking Dead]

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[Calvin Dyson - Bond Reviewer, The Anime Man, BobSamurai's Anime Reviews, Retroblasting, Oliver Harper's Retrospective and Reviews]

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[Higher Ground]

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[Beelzebub]

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[Steven Universe]

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[Robert Stack, Unsolved Mysteries]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #454.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I'm going through something really difficult at the moment, that's causing me a lot of pain. I don't have many sympathetic people irl to talk to atm, and my mother just says "buck up".

How do I deal with the searing feeling of pain in my everyday life? I get a temporary stay on it when I'm talking to someone else, but how do I just get through? What do you do when you want to do anything but think? I need to be strong and keep going and doing what I need to do, but I just want to give up.

Do internet interactions help?

What sort of pain?

:(

I'm sorry, anon.

I don't have any good advice. The only thing that I've found that really helps is talking about it with sympathetic people. That, and time. It's just hard and shitty sometimes.

Hugs if wanted.

I get a temporary stay on it when I'm talking to someone else

Sounds like you've answered your own question, anon. If you know what helps, or can figure out what helps, do more of that. Er. As long as that doesn't hurt anyone else.

What do you do when you want to do anything but think?

Work. Exercise. Crafting, if you're into that. Carpentry, if you're into that. Gardening. Cooking. Basically something physical you can do where you have to be focused on what you're doing, and keep doing that.

Sorry you're having a rough time, anon. I know it's a cliche, but if you keep pushing through, the further you get in time from whatever you're dealing with, the more distance/perspective you'll have on it.

Whenever I sweep the floor, I wonder why I procrastinated on it so long--it's that soothing to me. Anything repetitive where you can just concentrate on the repetitive movements. Some people like chopping veggies for soup, or knitting. Taking a walk can be good.

I like to go to the supermarket--even when I only buy one thing, all that plenitude obscurely cheers me up.

Good luck, anon. I hope you can find something that helps.

Music. Music has always been my life preserver.

If you mean physical pain, then you need to see a doctor and see what can be done in terms of managing it in a healthy way. If you mean emotional pain, then I sympathize but I can also see why your mother is telling you to "buck up", because "searing feeling of pain" sounds a touch melodramatic. Can you be more specific as to its source? Because that's an important thing to consider when it comes to countering it.

As a general bit of advice, any time you're in pain from say, a bad break up, the cure is time and activity. DON'T sit around the house wallowing in negative thoughts. Get out of the house, learn a new hobby, exercise, meet new people, etc. You might also consider volunteering someplace. Soup kitchen? Animal shelter? Helping someone else is an amazing antidote to feeling worthless or depressed.

I don't think they're being melodramatic. If you're not used to it, some kinds of pain is incredibly painful.

One day I pulled my back muscle and I was in so much pain I could barely move. I would have certainly called it searing pain. I felt like there was a knife in my back.

nayrt - Physical pain, yes. To describe emotional pain as "searing" sounds like bad fanfic.

...NAYRT, but have you ever lost a loved one? "Searing" can totally be an accurate description. Especially when emotional pain leads to physical pain. Nothing like having your abdominal muscles clamp down so much from crying that it feels like you pulled something. Or being so dehydrated that you get headaches, or panicking so badly you end up naseous. I don't know what's going on with the original poster, but I lost my dad and am going through losing my mom. Give me physical pain any day. And this is coming from someone who got nausea-inducing migraines every couple weeks for a decade. I've had a head injury that knocked me out with bonus concussion and stitches. And nothing like being stung when your limbs swell up to twice their normal size. Oh, and dental absesses are awesome fun.
Compared to having someone you love die and watching them suffer, they're easier.

Even if they're being melodramatic, "buck up" is some extremely fucking useless and unempathetic advice.

nayrt - Not entirely. Other people have posted useful suggestions that involve deliberately distracting yourself with work, hobbies, escapism, etc. That's a kinder way of saying "buck up", but at the core of it the advice is still to quit wallowing in the pain and to channel all of that energy elsewhere.

idk what's causing your pain, but "anything but think" sounds like me and the grief I've been dealing with for the past month. thinking almost anything leads me to remember the reason I'm grieving and then I'm off on another hour-long crying jag.

if this is you, anon, if you're sort of in that boat, then distract yourself any way you can. hobbies. video games. netflix marathons of stupid crap you used to like when you were younger. the only way to stop thinking is to make your brain focus on something else, and not put yourself into a situation where your brain can start wandering back over to the sensitive, triggering topics.

for me, it's been a combination of video games and roleplaying that have gotten me through, and allowed me to function long enough not to be a puffy-eyed, sniffling mess in public. only you know what will truly turn your brain off, but there's some ideas. maybe you like baking or crocheting toys or gardening, I don't know.

Is it physical or mental? bc that does make a difference

I live with chronic pain from nerve damage. Sadly I haven't found any medications yet that help. Mostly what I do is focus on music. I play the piano. I draw. I spend a lot of time playing video games. Anything to keep my mind off it.

Find ways to distract yourself from the pain, so you can focus less on it and more on other stuff. Maybe focus on a hobbie, or pick a videogame or pick up a series and watch it.

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