fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3177 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3177 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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12. http://i57.tinypic.com/35chf9c.jpg
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13. http://i.imgur.com/OB1EeH5.jpg
[porn - furry/illustrated]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #454.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can recognize that she had more stakes and the right to do whatever she wanted just fine, thanks. Doesn't mean I have to like it or stay with her when I couldn't even look at her the same. Maybe that makes me a monster to you, but I'll stick with wholly incompatible.

Did you discuss this issue beforehand?

Because if she went against her word, then, yes I can understand you feeling betrayed.

I think what I'm having a lot of trouble swallowing here is you saying you "couldn't even look at her the same" -- because that can't help but sound judgmental.

Loss isn't always rational.

It's definitely judgmental. But there's a difference between judging someone's actions and trying to force them into a different one, which is what you seem to be accusing me of doing. But sorry if every time I looked at her, all I could feel was loss and regret and sadness and -- for a while -- anger. Can't help how we feel, we can only help what we do about it. I chose to get out, because none of that was a recipe for a good relationship, and I couldn't, and apparently still can't, see it changing.

To you, I'll concede this: I think you made the right choice getting out of that relationship. I think your feelings of loss, sadness and grief are justified and understandable.

But unless she promised something, I will still maintain that you have no right to judge her for it.

I recognize that emotions aren't rational, though. But that's how I feel.

The reason I feel this way is because she didn't take something from you. You were asking her to give you something and she had every right and reason to say no.

I just can't get past "purposefully kill my child". You make it a) sound evil, and b) deliberate in its effect on you, and c) all about you. That kind of possessiveness of someone else's body (and a foetus is just that) is nauseating. I'm sorry that your ex didn't agree with you to use her body to bring life into the world just for you, that really sucks, but she isn't a murderer for having sovereignty over her own body.

Post your strong opinion, get an opposing one. *shrug*

NAYRT but that's really just not the sense that I get from that phrase, at all

Also, OP clearly disagrees with you that a fetus is just part of someone else's body, and right or wrong, I'm not sure it serves a useful purpose to elide that basic and fundamental difference.

"sound evil"

Okay, today I learned that mourning and feeling sad for a child one could have had is 'evil'.

Honestly this just feels like a vent thread for people with a view completely opposing yours. Why do you feel the need to come in and shove your opinion in people's face because you disagree with theirs?

It's not like the anon is telling her to keep the child, they're getting out of it because they know they probably won't get over their feelings. They admit that they understand that their girlfriend had her rights.

Just....why are you pushing this? Do you just have this unbearable need to lecture people?

It's not the sadness that bothers people…it's the "purposefully killed my child" part.

Because it make it sound as though she wronged someone when she didn't.

You can lament the loss of a potential child without casting aspersions on your ex.

The dude wasn't OWED the child. She did nothing wrong by not being wiilling to invest nine months and her body to give him something he wanted.

Yes, it's sad that he lost the potential of the child, but it's not her responsibility to provide him with one.

If a man wants to be in a romantic relationship with a woman and she turns him down, he's allowed to feel sad and unhappy. To lament the loss of what might have been.

But painting the woman negatively because she won't sacrifice her wants, desires, and body to his wants and desires is wrong.

NAYRT

Again, I don't really read a lot of those conclusions into the language.

I think if you see the fetus as a child, and not a potential child, it would probably be pretty hard to deal with that. Even if you agreed in principle that the woman had no responsibility to carry it through, I can understand not being able to get past that.

I guess - and this is going to be a strange thing to say - but I don't read it as painting the woman negatively to nearly the same extent that you do.

da

I'm kind of on the fence about it... not so much the phrase, but the way it's connected to this one particular situation. It's hard to be objective when something is just so damn personal. When someone speaks from a place of grief, even if everyone else finds it ridiculous, I think that person should be cut some slack.

I don't think he's going around suggesting every woman considering an abortion is a heartless killer who ought to pop out a kid against her will instead. It's possible he's still responding with this phrase out of guilt for what he didn't try to prevent in his own case. No, he has no right to force her to carry a child to term, but he still helped create the life form she was carrying. People get weird when it comes to loss. It's awful all around, and a little compassion is needed.

maybe you think woman need a child in her life.... no you don't. Don't make such assumption. A child need BOTH of parent. BOTH. Don't make excuses just because circumstances.

NAYRT but nothing you're responding to is actually in the post you're responding to

FWIW I agree with you.

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