fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3187 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3187 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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04. http://i.imgur.com/HcehdSi.jpg
[linked for nudity, it's the blurred lines video]

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[New Tricks]

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12. [SPOILERS for Jurassic World]

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13. [WARNING for underage]

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14. [WARNING for suicide]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #455.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

All the damned time. I had one follow me around a national park talking about his great respect for the military and how his grandfather 'made him the man he is today.' It took all I had not to laugh.

I had one date where, while we driving to the mountains to hike, I had to pull my car over so he could jump out and smoke. And we had to stop in the middle of the hike so he could smoke. And every time he asked me a question he cut me off in the middle of my sentence to talk about himself. And he told me his mom told him not to tell me he was Catholic, and she was worried I would push him off the mountain. To be fair, I was considering it halfway through the hike.

Then I had one charmer who admitted that he still lived with his mother well into his thirties, stayed home every weekend, went hiking ONCE (and his 'crazy' friend brought along a flare gun and omg it was so CRAZY!) and his mom's favorite story about him was that he was once bitten by a turtle. And the story goes: he picked up a turtle and it turned it's head and bit him.

My last date was literally an hour and a half of the guy talking about his pseudo-intellectual bullshit theories. I quite literally said maybe three sentences. Maybe. He didn't ask me a single question. Not one.

One date took me to a movie and stared at me to see if I laughed whenever something funny happened. 0.o

And every single one of these jerks would have described himself as a 'Nice Guy.'

I've seen things, man. THINGS.

I thought Nice Guys were just guys who did... nice things and then acted like you owed them sex. These guys seem a little weird (and probably not anyone I'd date), but not like Nice Guys.

They thought they were being nice (or impressive) and there were definite creeper tendencies. They wanted sex. They wanted a girlfriend. They wanted someone to tell them they were special.

...uh, isn't that the point of dating? Why would you waste the time and energy to date someone if you don't want sex and to have a girlfriend/boyfriend and to have someone who thinks you're special?

I mean, I assume these weren't people who you already knew well and who fell madly in love with you.

The problem isn't that they wanted any of that. The problem is they wanted that without making an iota of effort to make themselves interesting or attractive to me. I was interchangeable. My part could have been played by any other woman in a 50 mile radius. What mattered was their comfort and their happiness.

That certainly sounds like they were crappy matches for you, and that they weren't really ready to date seriously and hadn't figured out what the real rewards of going out with and getting to know someone new really are, just that dating is a thing that they're supposed to do because girlfriends are good. Doesn't necessarily make them jerks. It sounds like it makes them kind of immature and awkward. Maybe they were also jerks, but not because of anything you describe here.

Come on, if you're seriously going to claim that YOU'VE never gone to meet a date primarily focused on YOUR own comfort and happiness and at least initially thinking of the other person as interchangeable with 50 other guys, I bet you're lying. Everyone acts and feels this way sometimes, with some dates. Dating is a moronic shitpile of a social arrangement.

That last sentence is wise.

However, no I don't act like that on dates. I want to get to know the person, at least give them a shot, and both of us have a good time because that's how I want to be treated. And I'm not treated like that, and it pisses me off, then people act like I'm some sort of monster for not wanting to date those guys.

I don't see what's not nice about the mama's boy or the movie-starer. Not exactly anyone I'd care to date, for sure, but how are they jerks or not-nice?

Also, I don't think you understand what a Nice Guy (TM) is. It's a very specific entitled "you're obliged to go out with me because I'm not like those other douchebags" type of person.

Have you ever been stared at while you're watching a movie? It's creepy as all getout.

And none of those guys were really interested in me. They wanted a girlfriend. They wanted Mommy version 2.0 to tell them they were special and unique and date-able because they exist. My thoughts, feelings, or wants had nothing to do with anything. On many of these dates/encounters I was literally denied the opportunity to speak and participate in a discussion.

That seems a great description of a Nice Guy to me.

No it isn't. It's the definition of a dumb/immature or overly self-involved guy. Nice Guys are guys who feel that girls owe them sex because they're not rapists or aggressive thugs.

Your definition is narrower than mine.

It's not "my" definition. It's THE definition. What you're describing is a generally unpleasant person. That's not a Nice Guy. Trying to date and wanting to have a girlfriend does not make someone entitled. It just makes them oblivious and eyeroll-worthy if they think girls are going to want them when they don't care about them as people and talk about themselves all the time.

How is the guy who lived with his mom and doesn't like to go out on the weekends a jerk? Not attractive, perhaps, depending on the situation, but how does that make him a jerk? He just sounds like he has a boring life.

Yes, he was boring and he expected someone to be attracted to that.

nayrt

...I'm sorry, someone is a jerk for the crime of being boring but still wanting to be happy and wanting to try to find a girlfriend? What is he supposed to do? Stop existing? Not even try to meet anyone or ever hope that someone could ever love him? Just because he's boring?

Yeah, from what you describe he does sound like a bore and not someone I'd want to date. He'd have to become more interesting to get me interested. But are you serious? "He's boring yet he actually thinks it's feasible that someone could like him! That makes him an asshole and a Nice Guy."???

What kind of a fucking monster are you? All it does is make him a boring person with human desires.

You're precious.

Being boring isn't a crime. Being boring, taking up my time, and expecting me to be attracted to that is entitlement. Texting me after I've made it plain I'm not interested is obnoxious.

He's not supposed to stop existing. He's supposed to stop asking 'how can I get a girlfriend' and start asking 'how can I become the guy girls want to date?'

Cracked sums it up better than I can. Have a link: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

The only guys here who siund like jerks are the smoker and the pseudo-intellectual. And even they aren't nice gys

[ SECRET POST #3187 ]

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

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Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?

Re: Have you ever met a NiceGuy™ in real life?