fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3190 ]

[ SECRET POST #3190 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3190 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Angry Birds (Movie)]

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03.

[The Great British Bake Off (series 6)]

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04.

[Jennifer Nettles, Ronnie Dunn]

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05.

[Free!]

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06.

[Hannibal]

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07.

[Jennifer Lien, who played Kes in Star Trek: Voyager]

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08.

[BBC Robin Hood]

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09.

(Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie/The Mirror Empire by Kameron Hurley)

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #456.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Are you happy? What's the secret? If not, what do you think you'd you need to have change, within or without?

I am very much not happy. If I had money, I could easily be (mostly) happy.

Not really.

Don't know.

I'm not.

It'd probably be ~live your dreams~ and surround yourself with people who influence you positively, but I'm too much of a wuss to ever do that and struggle to make friends.

Generally, yes. I have bad days like everyone, but for the most part I'm pretty happy.

I don't know if there's really a secret. I approach even normal things like grocery shopping as an adventure, I try to do things I want to do sooner rather than 'someday'. I smile even when I'm feeling pissy, because when someone smiles back it makes me feel better, because maybe they had a bad day too, and my smile made *them* feel better. I look for the little things because even on my shittiest days there's *something* good, even if it's just a warm sunbeam or something.

For me it's a choice, mostly. I know that's not true for everyone, but I feel it is for me.

+1. For me, happiness is mostly an attitude. Doesn't mean I spend all my days in blissful contentment, but I do make a point to be mindful of the little things that are good even when other things are not going well.

Of course, it helps very much that I'm healthy, that I have a job, and that considering all the turmoil in the world I live in a safe country.

I'm not unhappy.

I think a lot of people mistake being happy for constant contentment and being completely carefree, which is an unrealistic goal; not even the richest and most privileged movie stars or whoever are going to attain that. Minimizing the unhappiness in your life seems to be the way to go.

I'm pretty content. Mostly I stopped putting pressure on myself and started looking at my backup plans as just as valid as my first choice for how things should go. I've also let friendships with people who never did their part fade away and gotten closer to the ones who put some effort in on their end too.

I'm content. Not super happy, not super sad.

I'm happy when I'm not being lonely or anxiety-ridden.

I'm pretty content (happy?), even though there's some really difficult things going on for me and I'm not living my "ideal" life by any means. I kind of had to learn how to be happy or else wallow in self-pity. It's cliched in that I'm making lemonade with lemons, and taking pleasure in what I have already (the "peasant perspective"). Overall it's pretty good to be alive.

I think this sums me up pretty well, too. I tend to be a pretty optimistic-minded person in general, so I always prefer to try and look at the good side of things.

Plus, while my life sure as hell isn't perfect, considering what some other people have to deal with on a daily basis, I don't know that I have a whole lot of room to complain too much. Reminding myself of that fact also helps shape my attitude and outlook in a lot of ways.

Re: Happiness

kitelovesyou - 2015-09-29 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Happiness

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-29 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

More or less. Definitely more than I used to be which I sometimes think makes all the difference. I'm pretty content with my life situation right now, even though I know I won't want it to be exactly the same indefinitely.

What's the secret? There's no short answer. People are varied and different. I think that gratitude and perspective make an enormous difference and can lead to long-term happiness, but of course there are some situations (sometimes out of your control) that pretty much guarantee unhappiness at least for the short term.

For me, being self-sufficient and having control of my time and space make a HUGE difference. I love having a waged job because I don't have anything that would qualify as homework that hangs over my head for days/weeks/months on end without ever stopping. I got so utterly sick of that that being out of school amped my happiness up in a major way.

Edited 2015-09-28 23:52 (UTC)

I stumbled on a blog once where the author wrote about how she decided to be happy and how it was enough to actually become happy. For me, I don't trust happy. Self sabotage is where it is.

I do not understand this concept, happiness. Checking folder: tequila for further information.

Haha, that made me chuckle. Well done! Loved it.

I am happy around 95% of the time. Very happy, even.

The keys are good health and having something to work toward. Not necessarily even accomplishing a goal, just having something to be doing that makes me feel fulfilled.

I also have a pretty amazing partner, and that definitely helps, but even if she weren't around I know I would be happy being able to do the jobs and hobbies that I love.

I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine, but I try to have a good sense of humour about life's various horrors and disappointments.

Sense of humour essential. Seems you've been dealt a pretty shitty hand from the sound of it, so +1000 life skills.

Re: Happiness

belladonna_took - 2015-09-29 00:55 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Happiness

kitelovesyou - 2015-09-29 04:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Happiness

belladonna_took - 2015-09-29 11:30 (UTC) - Expand

Iiiii have depression, so while I'm definitely happy some of the time, I'm not as a matter of course

Getting there.

I've learned that balance is important.

Relationships:
I need good friendships, and I'm lucky enough to have an amazingly supportive family, but I also need to make time for myself. Sometimes, that means ignoring texts, or telling people I'm busy. Re-watching the Justice League, playing Legend of Dragoon, or just staring at a wall for 5 hours (if that's what I love) is a legit thing to label me as 'busy' imo. That's my time.

I can't allow myself to spend too much time on my own though. I need to surround myself with good people who have a lot to offer; like a strong bond, good fun, unique thoughts, knowledge based on their personal experiences, etc. Having a good circle is important.

Health / food:
I like to eat things with as little ingredients as possible. I love fruits, veggies, legumes, full fat greek yogurt - I also love oatmeal and other things that can be considered 'good carbs'. But I also love donuts and cookies and messy burgers and pizza. I let myself have those things once a week. Sometimes, right in the middle of the week, I'll be craving some dark chocolate, and I will let myself have it, as long as it's not all the time! No guilt, and full control. Totally important.

I also stay as active as possible. If I can, I make sure to take the stairs instead of the elevator, I'll park my car modestly far away from a building I need to get into (the bank, grocery store, and definitely restaurants!). I do cardio at least 3 times a day for 20 minutes, and I do yoga almost every day (I have a bad back that needs to be stretched out daily). Some days, I will work out for an hour! Some days, I'll do yoga stretches for 5 minutes and lay in bed for the rest of the day (on days that are my 'me days', of course).

Hygiene is very important as well! I brush my teeth and floss every day, oil pull every once in a while, and of course showering / bathing :3

When I look good and smell good, I feel good, too. I'm not a hair and makeup kind of person, so I make sure to take extra good care of my hair and my skin. I don't wash my hair every day, get it trimmed once every 3 minutes, and if I know in advance I'll be doing my hair, I try to prepare it the night before to avoid using heat. For skin, I cleanse and moisturize daily, exfoliate and mask every second day, and apply sunscreen when I know I'll be out. I don't wear makeup unless I need to (by 'need', I mean I'm in the modeling world - it's part of my job!), and I NEVER NEVER NEVER - I repeat: NEVER - go to bed before washing it off. I also try to avoid touching my face. I'm prone to break-outs!

Career
I need to make sure I'm doing at least one thing every day for my career. I'm in entertainment, and there are some days that are slower than others. On those days, I'll practice posing, or prep a monologue. I might even write a short story or two to keep my creativity fresh. It doesn't have to be an all-day thing, but I need to keep myself mentally there on days that I'm not.

I love what I do, but I try to separate my career from my personal life. Unless asked about it, I won't bring it up in personal interactions. I think it's important that I don't wear out what I love, or that I don't merely become one thing, despite loving it so much.

Bottom line:
I'm only 22 years old (just had a birthday in June, in fact!), but I have gone through some major depression and anxiety over questioning my own happiness. Medication was never a cure, and I could never find the right person to talk to about my problems. Going through some years of struggling, I finally learned that life is what I make it and there are steps I needed to take in order to attain the happiness I wanted. It seemed impossible at the time, yet it seemed more possible than expecting someone or something to grant that for me; at my most desperate, I realized there was still hope. This is my life and the thing I found most beautiful was that I had control over what I decided to focus on. I dedicated my focus on being happy, and I find now that my life consists of taking steps in getting there. I'm not perfect and still feel quite numb about things at times, but I've learned to be forgiving of myself and I know I'm on the right track.

I hope my comment helps! Balance, I think, is key.

Re: Happiness

supermanda - 2015-09-29 01:36 (UTC) - Expand

I think for the most part, I am happy. I do have bad days, and I complain a lot about stupid things, but if you ask me how I feel about my life, I'd say I'm happy.

I put my life in perspective. I have a roof over my head, I can afford to live the life I live quite comfortably, my job doesn't make my miserable and pays me well enough after all the hard work and time I put into it, I don't have a lot of issues with my family so for the most part we're a happy family, I don't have a lot of friends but the ones I do have I enjoy their company.

I spent a lot of my adolescence and a good chunk of my early teens relatively depressed with my lot in life. It took a lot (A LOT) of time experiencing life and a lot of self reflection for me to appreciate the life I have. It took a lot of time to take my life into my own hands and create my own happiness. I know everyone has their own life experiences so we all can't deal with life the same way, but I think I spent a lot of my life feeling sorry for myself and there were some legit experiences that directed me toward that path, but the older I became the more I realized that it didn't help me any that I felt miserable but didn't do anything to improve it. I had more control of my life as an adult than I did as a teen, so it was up to me to make me happy, not some miracle I seemed to be waiting for.

It took some time to also realize that I'm not the only person in the world struggling. It seemed like my form of sadness and lot in life was unique to me, and that no one understood how sad I felt and how my insecurities and fears and self doubt were eating me up from the inside, ruining my self worth, but then I began to realize that a lot of people who are both older and younger than me were just as lost as I was, and that didn't stop some of them from living their lives.

I don't know when it exactly began to dawn on me, but as more time went on, I began to shrug off the thought that perhaps everyone I encountered in my life was judging me. Fuck them if they don't respect me or think much of me. They're probably being judgmental because their own lives are shitty, or they're just fucking assholes who I wouldn't want to be associated with anyway. I just began to have little to no fucks left to give with what others thought of me. If what I did made me happy and wasn't harming anyone, FUCK IT, Imma do what I please. Also, I learned that most people are more caught up in their owns lives and no one was looking that deeply into my life except for myself.

I still struggle with insecurities I have and I do catch myself worrying that I pissed my friends off for reasons I don't know if they don't answer calls or texts, but I am able to remind myself to stop psyching myself out.

I think it's a lot of work to find happiness, but I also think it's not as complex as some may think it is.

I'm doing okay, all things considered. What would really help is money, though.

No.

I could be happy with tons of money, though.

Yeah I'm usually pretty happy

Mostly due to financial stability and recovering from an illness. Cut some shitty people out of my life and doing all right.

Quite content, even if some weeks are shitty because I'm just above that financial instability line.

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