[ SECRET POST #3199 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3199 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Midnight Syndicate]


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03.
(Jim Gaffigan)


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04.
[X-Files]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #457.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: __________ Rage

[(Anonymous)]

My partner, who is borderline abusive. For various reasons I'm choosing to stay and hope I can support them through their issues, and stay okay myself. But I still can't help getting fucking angry sometimes.

Re: __________ Rage

[kaijinscendre]

Well, if they are abusive, you should think about leaving. Your health comes before anyone else's.

Re: __________ Rage

[(Anonymous)]

My children aren't exposed to the abusive behaviour, and custody will be a real issue, and so would finances (I could actually end up in debt, and homeless, and custody even more of an issue). And I have some hopes that they will get over their issues soon. So. Waiting and seeing. Thankyou.

Re: __________ Rage

[kaijinscendre]

Have you talked about therapy or support groups?

Re: __________ Rage

[(Anonymous)]

This may be obvious to you, but if it isn't: Now is the time to make emergency plans. Be sure you have somewhere safe, and secret, to go with your kids if/when the abuse escalates. If you have the means, consider a consult with a marriage counselor or an attorney, to see what your options are. Good luck.

Re: __________ Rage

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt Thankyou, I was able to access both, and persuade it down to affordable. I am getting prepared, in case things go south. Hoarding money. It's not physical abuse, and as I said, it's borderline, part of it is that my partner due to depression doesn't even realise and refuses to realise, that their actions have a negative impact.

Re: __________ Rage

[(Anonymous)]

Unless your children don't live with you both, there's no way they're not exposed to the abuse, or at least the effect of the abuse on you. I have a friend who is also stuck in a bad relationship with a person who is borderline abusive, too. She thinks that her kids won't be affected by having an emotionally unavailable father who sees them as inconveniences and a financial drain. I'm sorry, but that's the fantasy parents in that situation tell themselves because it makes it easier to stay, but it's not true. You can only shield kids from so much, and you cannot parent enough to compensate for the lack of two loving parents when the dysfunctional parent is still in the household, being propped up by the functional adult. Kids notice that, and take it as their role model for what's normal.

Good luck on your escape plan.

Re: __________ Rage

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt Thankyou, but that doesn't apply here, at least not at the moment. I'm a bit concerned about the youngest, but they're too young to know yet. The oldest is covered in love and respect. A lot of it is that it has been transferred from me; I really am getting the brunt of it, and treated as the dysfunctional one because I have a chronic illness.