[ SECRET POST #3203 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3203 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #458.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

10. http://i.imgur.com/9k3DNqw.png

[(Anonymous)]

Take a break maybe? Tell your friends that you're taking a hiatus due to irl issues and then lock yourself out of your accounts (maybe give someone else the passwords) until you're over your breakdown.

Also look into therapy if you haven't already.

[dreemyweird]

Yes, seconded!!

[(Anonymous)]

Yes there's time to prevent it.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes. Taking a break is allowed. I do this regularly once or twice a year. A month or two (sometimes three) off fandom and journaling; to get afresh view on things. I just say - very short - that I will be away for a while and take care meanwhile. Doesn't have to be harder than that. It's much better than just falling off the surface of the earth and most people can relate.

[diet_poison]

Agreeing with anon above - a break is better than a breakdown. Walk away if you need to. People are generally understanding of this in fandom spaces (at least ime).

I'm sorry things are rough, anon.

[(Anonymous)]

I have actually done that. I flounced out of a fandom rather loudly, changed my name, and simply never talk about them (except anon, like now).

[(Anonymous)]

I'm thirding the 'take a break' people, here. I have aspergers, and while my meltdowns aren't complete breakdowns, I know I have my limits and that I can overreact a lot because of not respecting them.

I recently took a week long break from all social media and it has been so relaxing. I know that it won't fix the stress I receive from it, but it's given me a lot of perspective on how I want to interact in fandom, and frankly it's been really nice to recharge.

Also, just because you blow up or have a break down doesn't mean you have to start all over again. I know it's scary to stick around if you do something you regret. It means you have to face whatever reputation you give yourself. But you know what? You just gotta apologize and move forward. Sometimes doing that means you can find the friends that are worth having, because the ones that are worth it will understand you if your apology and will to make things right is earnest.

[caerbannog]

Take a hiatus, go join an unrelated forum with unrelated details and have your breakdown there. Or go anon and troll here.

[(Anonymous)]

I could have written this... Did I write this? Are you me, OP?

Seriously, do you also do the thing where you secretly watch people's postings to see if they notice you're gone?

[(Anonymous)]

I've done this before. I'm in a better place now, but man was that tough in my low moments.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh man, I do this. I've done it with MMOs, too... there's something about MMOs in particular that leads to burnout, especially if you're with a guild and they want you to be online ALL THE TIME on a schedule... so you just say 'fuck it all' and bail on your entire account and never go back and never talk to any of your guildmates again.

Also with multifandom RPs. (do people still do those things? I haven't been in one for years, now) I'd get into like 4 RPs and then drop them all and disappear because I couldn't handle maintaining all of it at once. Some activities and some people are just so demanding of your online presence... I find it hard to handle all of it and I just bail and go back to being a lurker.

I haven't touched my LJ account in years because I realized I have that pattern with online friendships. I think it's better for me to stay anon than to continue with the binge and purge cycle of online socialization.

Idk, OP, maybe if you can manage to keep your online presence low-demand it won't burn you out like that. Don't get yourself into commitments that force you to be online every day. It starts to feel like an obligation. Maybe try to find people who are okay with less frequent contact. But like, I say this, but I'm not taking my own advice, here. I just stay away from online friendships entirely at this point.

[(Anonymous)]

thanfiction, is that you?

[(Anonymous)]

Pfahaha, this is exactly what I was thinking.

[elaminator]

That background image is reminding me of the Hannibal opening...

As for the actual secret, I've definitely 'abandoned' online accounts before, but I've never done it by antagonizing anyone or creating drama; I just kind of faded away and stopped using them when all motivation left me. I've seen it happen many a time with fandom friends myself.

I think what everyone else is telling you, that you should tell your flist that you need a break from things then just cut online activity until you feel more stable, is a good plan. Try not to delete your account so you have the option to come back to it if you want, but get away from it for a while; you might need some alone time.

And if you do come back, try to set clear boundaries with your friends. If any of them are pressuring you to spend a certain amount of time with them and you can't manage it, tell them as much.

Hopefully you can break the cycle, OP. I have faith in you! (Also, good luck with everything in general. I hope your life improves and you'll soon be in a better place mentally.)

[(Anonymous)]

Adding my vote to the "take a break" comments, and also recommending therapy if you're not already pursuing that route. If you are, this is something you should definitely bring up in therapy to get to the root of WHY you do it.

[dahli]

Taking a break like other people imply seems to be a good idea. Also I think you should tackle the source of the problem, like asking yourself why do you delete everything and stuff.

[(Anonymous)]

Are you me OP?