[ SECRET POST #3215 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3215 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Disney's Descendants]


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03.


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04. [SPOILERS for Undertale]



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05. [SPOILERS for Ancillary Mercy]



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06. [SPOILERS for Great British Bake Off, series 6]



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07. [SPOILERS for Defiance]



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08. [SPOILERS for shepherd's crown]



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09. [WARNING for abuse]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #459.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I agree OP. I've never understood the appeal of fucked up relationships - fucked up characters, sometimes, but not fucked up relationships. Maybe it's because I've endured a lot of emotional abuse from my family, but I really can't enjoy the depiction.

It's better than dysfunctional family portrayals though. They actively make me distressed and I usually have to leave the room :(

[dreemyweird]

I feel you, anon :/ I could do without ever seeing another dysfunctional family portrayal ever again (unless we're talking a dysfunctional family the protagonist moves on from to receive healing and consolation, in which case I do a 180 and eat that with a spoon).

Hugs if wanted.

[(Anonymous)]

That type of story would be good... if I could get through the dysfunctional parts first. Really I just want good people who are nice to each other :(

Thanks for the hugs :)

[(Anonymous)]

I can't watch functional families because they seem completely lame and unrealistic to me. Especially mother-daughter relationships. I can't conceive of them ever being positive on a fundamental level. I remember rolling my eyes and being like "this is lame" over Joyce's death on Buffy... who cares, mom is dead, good riddance is really all I could think. I don't think I'll ever be able to empathize with those relationships... it's part of why I'll never have kids. I know intellectually that lots of mothers have good relationships with their daughters, but I can't believe it emotionally.

Only dysfunctional familial relationships seem real to me.

[dancing_serpent]

I'm with you there. Whenever I see great mother-daughter relationships on tv I'm assuming it's someone's wish fulfillment fantasy, because for me "reality doesn't work like that".

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but I 100% believe in the Gilmore girls. Maybe because I have a Gilmore Girls-esque relationship with my father.

Seriously, as someone whose best friend is her father, I can confirm that amazing familial relationship do exist. Not saying anybody has to like them. Just saying, they're not unrealistic. Perhaps just not as common as mediocre or shitty ones.

[dancing_serpent]

I love the Gilmore girls (Lorelai & Rory), but at the same time it's incredibly painful (Lorelai & Emily). Mother-daughter relationships are forever tainted by my own experiences.

I have an awesome relationship with my dad, but the pessimistic part of me believes that's only because we had to band together against a common enemy.

[ketita]

Yeah, same. It makes me just so sad to see, and I wish there were more happy families, or at least positive families who do support each other.

And same with the relationships. I don't mind characters being messed up, or even bad people, but I want there to be something good and beautiful about the relationship, if I'm reading/watching it. Otherwise I spend my time yelling "JUST LEAVEEEEE" at the character I like better.

[(Anonymous)]

Ayrt

Exactly. If the relationship isn't redeeming in some way, what's the point? I definitely do that yelling thing at my more liked character too. I also strike off the abusive events past which there is no justification to stay in the relationship. If the character sticks around after these when within the story they would be able to leave I just can't handle it.

[ketita]

Yes! There are some events that I just *can't* overlook, and I don't see the relationship as salvageable.
I even have had that sometimes with couples I ship but aren't canon - one will do or say something to the other, and it can completely ruin the ship for me, if it shows a fundamental callousness or cruelty.

(this is why I have problem watching most dramas >_>)

[skeletal_history]

I confess, I love fucked up relationships in fiction (Hannibal and Will's relationship is right up my alley, for example), and I genuinely never put two and two together before reading your comment, but it might be because I also grew up in an unlovng family and fucked up and twisted "I love you but I hate you and loving you makes me sick but I don't want to leave you" relationships feel normal. And being fiction, those stories give me the opportunity to really explore and empathise with those relationships from all sides so as to understand them better, while feeling good knowing that this isn't real and no one real is suffering.

At the same time, I can't stomach fluff. It just seems so irredeemably fake.

PS. Why yes, I am in therapy! :). I might bring this up at my next session.

[(Anonymous)]

Ayrt

I don't know if if it's related, but when I was younger and didn't have as much perspective on my family, dysfunctional family portrayals weren't as bad for me and I could even happily relate to them. But now I'm older I've become completely sure of what is and isn't okay to inflict upon your loved ones, and completely sure of the things my family did that I don't want to repeat, screwed up family dynamics are stressful to watch. Manipulative relationships of all kinds most of all.

Fluff I find I want when I'm sad. I like the fantasy that there are good people who are nice to each other and who have no serious problems out there, what can I say.

I hope watching fucked up relationships is cathartic for you though. Have you found that fiction has given you a better perspective of your family in particular?

Hugs and good luck with your therapy :)

[skeletal_history]

Anon, you sound like a good person who has found a lot of healing, rock on. :)

I just wrote out a way-TMI account of my own family and what fiction does to help me cope, but suffice it to say, my folks were the "no love, no expression of emotion, just numb" kind of dysfunctional, and I guess I'm drawn to fictional relationships that are more, well, emotionally expressive (even when the emotions hurt) because they give my own emotions a workout as I follow their story.

I guess I'm drawn to messed up relationships in fiction because I get some kind of perverse itch scratched when immersing myself in the fantasy couple's emotional rollercoaster world, while rightfully avoiding that kind of traumatizing shit in real life.

[(Anonymous)]

I think I'm attracted to fucked up relationships because I was depressed for a very long time. I had trouble feeling anything at all... I was just numb and pessimistic. I couldn't even relate to the idea of a healthy relationship... it seemed ridiculously unrealistic to me. I didn't believe they could happen in real life. I'd never seen anything like it. It just seemed fake to me. A fucked-up relationship seemed more relatable... something I could see happening to me. I think part of it was just wanting the intensity of emotion you see in those kinds of abusive relationships... I couldn't feel anything, but I wanted to feel something. That was what appealed to me.

I'm not depressed anymore (mostly) but I still relate back to those feelings I had. I did go through a rather unhealthy relationship a while back and while I recognize it was bad and even at the time I knew it was bad... part of me wanted it, that intensity of feeling. He made me feel SOMETHING. I cried, really SOBBED for the first time since I was a little girl and it felt like a damn breaking. He treated me like crap but it was an amazing rush to be feeling all the feels again. It was miserable but it was intense and that was what I wanted.

So I guess tl;dr history of depression, intensity of feeling in fucked-up relationships is appealing to someone who's been emotionally numb for years.

[(Anonymous)]

*ETA if you want to die anyway, a serial killer doesn't seem like a bad option. Something to think about

[(Anonymous)]

yeah. thanks for sharing. I hope you feel better now.