fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3215 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3215 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Disney's Descendants]

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04. [SPOILERS for Undertale]

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05. [SPOILERS for Ancillary Mercy]

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06. [SPOILERS for Great British Bake Off, series 6]

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07. [SPOILERS for Defiance]

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08. [SPOILERS for shepherd's crown]

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09. [WARNING for abuse]

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Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Making kids do chores as a punishment would only make them resent doing chores at all. Make them fix something they broke, but not if it's unrelated. Taking away privileges/toys is a better option.

I don't think spanking is on the same level as hitting. Hitting is something without warning, in the heat of a situation. Spanking is usually not as immediate. After age 5 or so, I was even able to argue my case if I thought spanking was unwarranted (and for the record, I've never been beaten or abused). It sometimes worked, it sometimes didn't.

Kids don't have to like doing chores. But they do have to do them. Like eating vegetables or going to bed at a reasonable time. It's best to teach kids to suck it up and do it if it's good for you.

Personal anecdotes really are unimportant when the research goes 100% against spanking. And it is literally hitting your kid, so I'm not sure why you are dividing here.

Well said.

My oldest is only two so not a huge amount of experience with discipline yet, but I do have to do it constantly. Sometimes it is REALLY HARD for me not to get angry and want to be forceful. Instead, I work on trying to collaborate with him and try to avoid escalating the situation. Sounds hippy but it works most of the time. The more cross I get and the more I tell him off, the more defiant and unwilling he gets, whereas if I pick my battles, consider compromise, try to explain why something is a bad idea, and offer alternatives, he's much better behaved. I know if I hit him, our covenant would be broken and he'd act the hell up out of anger himself, for a long time. I punish with time outs, making him apologise, and trying to mend the consequences of his actions.

My parents hit me. It was bad.

[ SECRET POST #3215 ]

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