case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-10-23 07:00 pm

[ SECRET POST #3215 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3215 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.
[Disney's Descendants]


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03.


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04. [SPOILERS for Undertale]



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05. [SPOILERS for Ancillary Mercy]



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06. [SPOILERS for Great British Bake Off, series 6]



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07. [SPOILERS for Defiance]



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08. [SPOILERS for shepherd's crown]



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09. [WARNING for abuse]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #459.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Ask an opinion question

(Anonymous) 2015-10-24 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Making kids do chores as a punishment would only make them resent doing chores at all. Make them fix something they broke, but not if it's unrelated. Taking away privileges/toys is a better option.

I don't think spanking is on the same level as hitting. Hitting is something without warning, in the heat of a situation. Spanking is usually not as immediate. After age 5 or so, I was even able to argue my case if I thought spanking was unwarranted (and for the record, I've never been beaten or abused). It sometimes worked, it sometimes didn't.

Re: Ask an opinion question

(Anonymous) 2015-10-24 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Kids don't have to like doing chores. But they do have to do them. Like eating vegetables or going to bed at a reasonable time. It's best to teach kids to suck it up and do it if it's good for you.

Personal anecdotes really are unimportant when the research goes 100% against spanking. And it is literally hitting your kid, so I'm not sure why you are dividing here.
kitelovesyou: butterfly scales (Default)

Re: Ask an opinion question

[personal profile] kitelovesyou 2015-10-24 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Well said.

My oldest is only two so not a huge amount of experience with discipline yet, but I do have to do it constantly. Sometimes it is REALLY HARD for me not to get angry and want to be forceful. Instead, I work on trying to collaborate with him and try to avoid escalating the situation. Sounds hippy but it works most of the time. The more cross I get and the more I tell him off, the more defiant and unwilling he gets, whereas if I pick my battles, consider compromise, try to explain why something is a bad idea, and offer alternatives, he's much better behaved. I know if I hit him, our covenant would be broken and he'd act the hell up out of anger himself, for a long time. I punish with time outs, making him apologise, and trying to mend the consequences of his actions.

My parents hit me. It was bad.