fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3220 ]

[ SECRET POST #3220 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3220 ⌋

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But really.

I should be in my last year of college, but my anxiety and depression spiraled pretty badly after I got a worthless associates and couldn't find a direction in my studies since I was afraid I wouldn't be able to support myself with my actual passions. I've been therapy and taking medication, but I'm still struggling a lot and don't leave the house most days. My parents are more than understanding and supporting, but I feel like I'm just letting myself indulge and shrink any responsibilities. I know that I should be getting into a rhythm and exercising and doing all those sort of things, but I just end distracting myself everyday by browsing the internet and feeling shittier and shittier about myself. I can't seem to take that first step to improve myself, maybe because I'm afraid of messing up again. And I'm just lagging further and further behind my peers.

I really want to stop, I know I'm just avoiding all my problems and making excuses why I shouldn't do that because I'll just fail.

How do even get out of this sort thing?

Been there, done that. The bad thing about depression is that it puts this giant mental block in place every time you try to do anything to break out of that rut. What helped me was setting myself a schedule and enforcing it with alarms and timers if necessary. When the timer goes off, I don't give myself time to think about it (and talk myself out of it), I get up and do the thing.

Start with baby steps. Take a short walk outside, maybe 15 minutes. Do it at the same time every day until it becomes a habit you do automatically, like flushing a toilet after you pee. You can walk as slow as you want, but do it for the whole 15 minutes. Instill that habit over a few weeks. Then maybe bump it up to half an hour. Take music along if that'll help.

Another thing you can do is find a volunteer position. Doesn't matter what, as long as you're helping, because studies have shown it can be a surprisingly effective at counteracting depression. Animal shelters need volunteers to socialize their animals, maybe that could be something to look into.

Attack your diet. When people are depressed, they generally don't eat well, and that makes a difference especially as you get older. When you're a teenager, your body can run just fine on Yoohoo and pizza rolls, but as you get into your 20s and older... not so much. Aim for lean proteins, lots of veggies, low sugar, low refined carbs, whole grains. Cut back on junk food. This is even harder than exercise for a lot of people because it requires more work, so again, set yourself a small, easy goal. One healthy meal per week. If you don't already know how to cook, learning is a great idea and it's a skillset that everyone can use.

Step away from the computer. As a fellow internet addict, I sympathize. But sometimes the aimless browsing we do to block out intrusive thoughts and numb our feelings just turns us into apathetic zombies. Try to replace this habit with something healthier. Exercise again is good. Reading books is good. Finding hobbies that get you out of the house is a very good idea.

It's hard and it sucks and you have my sympathies, anon. We can do this!

Not the OP

Thank you for giving such a kind, helpful response! Honestly, so many people have this "just get over it" attitude, which doesn't help at all. Thanks for being a nice person! <3

I've been in OP's shoes and I'm still a work in progress as far as depression and apathy are concerned. :) It's tough but doable, it's just hard to see HOW it's doable when you're depressed. You kinda have to take it on faith that you can climb out of this hole and you have to keep trying, even if it doesn't seem like it's possible.

How do even get out of this sort thing?

It's very difficult. If you're less anxious going out if you're with someone, you could ask a parent or someone to go somewhere with you once a week or whatever's feasible for you.

Volunteering could be a good thing, if you're able, since it would be accomplishing something toward your future goals. Parks (the kind without playgrounds and things) can be nice, quiet places that can be low-stress and a change of pace.

Seconding on volunteering, I managed to get on a volunteering group with the county's wildlife trust specifically for people with mental health issues and managed to learn new skills and do good work. Really fun beneficial and useful.

What helped me was getting into the habit of looking at all my options and coming up with back-up plans for whatever I decided to do. I needed to fight the impulse to look at one failure and decide that's it, everything's ruined forever. The important thing is to look at the back-up plans as real, viable options that don't make me worth less than the original plan would have.

Working on fighting an all-or-nothing attitude helped too. I try to acknowledge any successes, no matter how small, and not guilt myself for not doing more. Small steps are worth something. You can start with just one thing and use that success to motivate others. Maybe you could start with finding a reason to leave the house every day.

I relate to this a lot but I'm having trouble putting my thoughts together into something helpful. So I'll stop here and just say that I hope you find a way to break out of this.

Also, I know that "lagging behind my peers" feeling incredibly well, but really there's no proper timeline that everyone needs to follow or else be a failure. I'm in classes with people of all different ages right now. There's nothing shameful about having some problems and going more slowly than other people.

not OP, but you worded it nicely. Thanks.

OP here

Not exactly sure what to write to each of you, so I hope it's alright to blanket thank you guys. I was a little worried to post this since it's so personal, but all of your responses were very kind and helpful. Thanks guys.

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