[ SECRET POST #3220 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3220 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #460.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Against my better judgment . . .

[feotakahari]

Courtesy of MLK Jr., this is the kind of thing meant by "the tone argument":

"I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season."

The "tone argument" is not simply advising that being an asshole to people is unlikely to make them agree with you. When I first read How to Win Friends and Influence People, I thought it was so obvious that I couldn't believe there needed to be a book about it. Now we've reached a point where basic politeness is genuinely controversial and advocating for it is likely to get you called a troll.

(Inb4 a certain poster with a martyr complex the size of Texas shows up to claim that everyone on FS is just as strident as him, and people only complain about him being rude for . . . some reason.)

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[(Anonymous)]

Are you seriously subtweeting someone on fandom secrets.

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[feotakahari]

I've never seen that term before. I just thought not naming him would give him a chance to avoid an argument if he didn't want to fight.

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[(Anonymous)]

Dude, just talk to him head or ignore him. Vaguebooking and MLK quoting for petty internet arguments is embarrassing.

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[(Anonymous)]

*him head on

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[feotakahari]

This isn't just about one person. I post on feminist sites, so I see "the tone argument" used and abused all the time.

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[(Anonymous)]

But you did specifically post about one person.

Re: Against my better judgment . . .

[(Anonymous)]

yeah, agreed so hard on both. I also read that book and I'm always surprised how much people fail to recognize that you need to also placate people's ego (and I don't mean that in a bad way). People want to feel good about themselves, they want to be reasonable and good.

If you make them feel shitty about themselves without any way of atonement, with only self-depreciation as means as a good ally (and self-depreciation =/= humility), it'll never work. Sure, the movements should be mainly about supporting marginalized people, but the moment you can't "Win Friends and Influence People" for your cause without

Racism and other -isms support people's ego. We can't WIN without being nice, or at least polite!!