fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3227 ]

[ SECRET POST #3227 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3227 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica, Major Crimes]

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03.

[Deadly Premonition]

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04.

[The Walking Dead, Glenn Rhee]

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05.

[Bill Skarsgård]

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06.

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07.

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08. http://i.imgur.com/LAq54d4.jpg
[link for random penis]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #461.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sort of technically an otherkin. Not in sense that I think I'm the reincarnation of a mystical elf or married to Snape on the astral plane or whatever, but I do feel like my human body is Wrong. If in the future someone invented a way to transplant a person's consciousness into a robotic body, I would not hesitate to have that done to me.

I've never told anyone this because I don't want to be associated with the sort of people that come to mind when you think of otherkin. I'm not making this up for attention, and I don't want to be a special snowflake. The discomfort I have with my physical form and my humanity is very real. I'd even go so far as to call it dysphoria if that wasn't appropriating trans issues. IDK if there's any other word for it, though.

TL;DR: I am an otherkin who is deeply embarrassed to be an otherkin and doesn't like to be around otherkin.

I'm just going to be blunt and say that your feelings are probably a sign of mental illness. Maybe therapy would help?

AYRT

I'm already in therapy. Just haven't figured out how to bring this up this particular issue to my therapist yet.

"Hey, there's this issue that's been on my mind for a while now and I haven't been sure how to bring it up in therapy even though I think it's probably important. But I feel like my human body is wrong somehow, like body dysphoria."

I wouldn't call it dysphoria, but I was never comfortable with being male-bodied even before I got sick, and I've reached a point now where my body doesn't feel like me, just like a sack of gross fluids that keep trying to leak out. I don't want to be female, and being healthy isn't enough. I want to not play this game anymore, to have something better and purer than this.

AYRT

So you just concisely articulated my exact feelings about this, holy shit.

"just like a sack of gross fluids that keep trying to leak out."

Yes. This is one of the problems I have with being human. Not the only problem, but a huge one definitely. My body terrifies me, because it breaks and malfunctions and becomes sick and weak so easily, and there's nothing I can do about it short of living in a plastic bubble and completely cutting myself off the entire world.

"being healthy isn't enough [...] I want to not play this game anymore, to have something better and purer than this."

Yes yes yes a thousand times yes.

... that's not dysphoria. it's disillusionment. we all believe we are immortal until we don't and that shocks us. the wish to have something purer, something eternal has always surfaced in cultural expressions in the form of religious devotion (rebirth or enlightenment), immortality (fountain of youth, vampirism) and the like. You basically have two ways to deal with it. a) you learn to embrace your mortality and that of your body, and learn to love the malfunctions and the gross fluids, or at the veryleast accept them, or b) find some way to lie to yourself about it, or, if you will, find a belief to rely on, that promises you something purer.
To be honest, I'm doing both, and I think most people are. I think it was Freud who said that even if we try we can't comprehend the idea of our own death so whether we will or not we keep thinking ourselves immortal.
I love getting older, and I've found so many positive things about my body since I've had a child (something I couldn't even imagine before), but I'll still be the spellbound demon who waits forever for her vampire lady to find her, and I'll be reborn again and again until we finally meet-

I feel somewhat similarly, only I don't think m body is a gross sack of fluids...I think bodies are great, beautiful, fun...it's just that mine does not fit me.

I hate having boobs and periods, I hate having the ability to get pregnant, and I hate how I have fought with my weight since childhood.

So yeah, I also just don't want to play this game anymore.

If this is a long time, pervasive feeling, then it sounds like some kind of dysphoria and is something you need to see a therapist about, and hopefully some kind of behavioral therapy to help you feel more comfortable in your body.

Sign me up for a new artificial body. I'd even go for being one of those bottled heads in Futurama.

I wouldn't hesitate to upload my brain to an android body either

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3227 ]

Re: Embarrassing thoughts/confessions

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Can I +1 this?

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