fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3248 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3248 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 030 secrets from Secret Submission Post #464.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I posted about Mom injuring her leg recently, which is still bad enough that she won't be able to make Thanksgiving dinner this year. Dad was going to make spaghetti instead, which I thought was fine. He went to the store to pick up a few additional things to make it more Thanksgiving-ish, and came home with a fucking turkey.

My dad is going to try and cook a fucking turkey. Dad's dinner nights throughout my entire childhood have been either takeout, or things like spaghetti and hamburger helper. I have no idea how this is going to turn out. wish me luck.

Maybe you'll get food poisioning and die!

d(*-*d) Good luck!

A couple Thanksgivings ago my grandfather tried to cook a turkey for the first time and it didn't turn out very well but we were all trying to be nice about it. Luckily my mom comes from a big family and that was the third turkey so there were two good ones to eat.

This is kind of awesome. No matter how this turns out, you're gonna have a fantastic story/memory to tell!

Good luck :) As long as he follows instructions and go for simple turkey, it should be fine.

Yeah, this. It's not actually that hard to cook a turkey.

Hey, interesting can be good!. Even if he fails, it's about family and not the turkey, right?

Tell him to drink half of a beer from a can then cram the rest of it (can and all!) up the turkey's ass and you'll end up with a moist, fucking delicious turkey with very little effort.

HOLY HELL YES THIS. Beer can turkey for the win.

Well, so long as he gets it all thawed in time, and follows the directions, it'll probably be fine? Turkey isn't hard to cook, you just have to slather on some butter and seasoning, put a little foil 'tent' over it (if you don't have a roasting bag) and shove it in the oven for the right amount of time.

Good luck!

Just make sure he doesn't do what my Aunt Karen and Uncle Kevin did when I was staying with Karen and we went to Kevvy's for Turkey Day. I was 15. They wanted to cook the turkey in a bag in the microwave. I threw a shit fit. "You are NOT cooking the turkey in the fucking MICROWAVE. NO. I FORBID IT." They found the sheer extent to which I was appalled hysterical and pointed out I was welcome to cook it in the oven if I really wanted. "FINE. Give me the phone to I can call Mom and find out what to do with this damned bird."

Yes, I cooked the turkey (... I still haven't cooked one since as someone else always prefers to do it) and it was delicious.

This incident, however, has gone down in the Family Hall of Fame and I still get teased around Turkey Day by half my family about the Great Microwave Turkey Fit. (Welcome to my family. We show our love by teasing the everloving fuck out of each other.)

In all seriousness, as long as you've got a meat thermometer to make sure the turkey is cooked all the way through, and don't do something stupid like cooking it with no liquid to keep it moist, then you're fine. Well, and seasoning, which... hie thee to the internet. As long as you've got those bases covered, turkeys are kinda hard to *completely* mess up. (It might not be your Mom's incredible turkey, but it shouldn't be bad.)

Crossing fingers for you, however. I don't want to know what the microwave abomination would have been. If your dad tries that one beat him upside the head with a roasting pan until he listens. And if he thinks "DEEP FRYING GREAT" hide all the appropriate cooking implements. So much the better if your parents are... eh, not hoarders, but even clutterbugs, so you can hide them behind stuff in the attic or garage. >_>

LOL I learned how to make chicken and dumplings from Mom over the phone. Those turned out great too!

We already had dinner, and Dad did really good! Not as good as Mom, but it definitely puts every Thanksgiving dinner we ever had at other relatives houses to shame. I seriously do not know what my aunts and Grandma did every year, but the turkey might as well have been turkey jerky.

[ SECRET POST #3248 ]

This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting

Re: This is going to be interesting