fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3253 ]

[ SECRET POST #3253 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3253 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Fallout]

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03.

[Colonel Fitzwilliam, Pride and Prejudice 1995 miniseries]

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04.

[Master and Commander/Aubrey/Maturin series]

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05.

[Undertale]

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06.

[Justified]

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07.

[Fury, Don/Boyd]

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08.

(The Pioneer Woman/Ree Drummond)

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09.

[Interworld]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 038 secrets from Secret Submission Post #465.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So pornstar James Deen was "accused" of rape on twitter. And though a mutual (female) friend of both says that she knows for a fact Deen is innocent, she won't support or defend him because it might discourage others (actual victims) from coming forward.

Like...wtf. Let's ruin this innocent guy's career and encourage liars to make false accusations. And now the professional victims are coming out of the woodwork to go, Oh yeah! It happened to me too! I have literally no proof but LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!!

That's not how it's actually going down, don't be disingenuous.

So how is it going down? Deets?

Stoya posted a comment on twitter about how he raped her with literally no proof.

The friend then said she knew that Stoya was lying but "Everyone asking for my head: It is more important for society to believe women and sex workers than it is for me to defend one friend."

Yikes.

what kind of proof could Stoya possibly have given

especially since the specific scenario mentioned was that she tried to safe word out and he kept fucking her

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

"proof"

????????

What the hell "proof" are you supposed to have? How do you prove you've been raped if you've been kept silent on it for as long as she has?

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 17:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 17:47 (UTC) - Expand

It is a little bit though?
https://imgur.com/a/5qUCe

I have mixed feelings.

Like on the one hand, there have been rumors about James Deen doing sketchy things for YEARS. There are people who won't work with him because of how he acts on set.

On the other hand, the stuff you're talking about that what's-her-face was saying is super concerning, even if he actually raped Stoya. Her argument that we should believe and support all accusers even when we know they're lying is patronizing and dangerous. That attitude DOESN'T HELP TACKLE RAPE CULTURE! And I'm really annoyed so many people think it does. You know what's been coming of people believing and supporting accusers no matter what? More and more people thinking most rape accusations are false. More and more people thinking rape isn't actually a real problem, it's just something women cry when they regret having sex.

Attitudes are changing all right, and they're changing in the wrong fucking direction.

First, how the hell does this person know "for a fact" that Deen is innocent. I'm damned if I can see how that would be the case.

Second, why are you constructing this scenario in such a way as to imply that we are going to scrutinize every word that Stoya says & meanwhile take this person's hints and imprecations as the gospel truth.

Third, obviously if this person can say - for a fact and for certain - that this is not true, she should say so, and she should say how she knows that. And doing what she's doing now is arguably the worst possible course of action at all. It does the maximum amount of damage to everyone's reputation. It's justified on no account.

Fourth - and this is a side note - I'm deeply uncomfortable with the framing of "professional victims" at the end there. That... I don't think that's great.

1) They may be friends and all you got to do is turn to your friend and go "Hey. I am going to ruin this guy's life."

Okay, fair enough, that's certainly one possible way that she could know. I didn't think of that.

I don't think it's very likely, but I will admit that it's possible.

and there could be a unicorn that lives under your bed too, better check

Well it was probably another porn star, I mean all porn stars are rape victims, who can't consent or anything.

... ?

That was a sarcastic reference to an anon who came around a year or so ago and claimed any woman who went into porn was automatically a rape victim as porn stars did not have the ability to consent.

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 04:41 (UTC) - Expand

Is this something he did when they were together?

If so, I think this is another example of why we need to move beyond "Rape is rape" language. There are persons for whom marital rape is seen as basically the same as rape, and those for whom marital rape supposedly doesn't exist. But for most of us, it's a special case: not good, but...understandable for various reasons?

I like Stoya. I don't expect she's lying. His behavior was assholish. And calling it "rape" is still trolling wankbait.

Oh, word?

...what.

1. They weren't married.

2. No, marital rape isn't understandable for most of us. Getting married isn't blanket consent for sex.

3. Rape is non-consensual sex. They had non-consensual sex. It was rape.

She was a porn star. No porn star can 'consent' to sex, so she's been raped by everybody already.

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 04:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

Er, this entire topic is troll bait even if the OP didn't intend it, but no, marital rape is a thing. Marriage is blanket consent to being married, not to having sex whenever one partner wants and no matter what the other one says or does. Plus if one partner says "no not now" or "maybe later" or "never again" about, I dunno, hiking 5 miles or doing the dishes or walking the dog, it would be weird and creepy to force them or ignore them, and I'm not sure why sex would be in its own category where forcing/not taking the other person's wishes into account/not asking them about it first is somehow not weird, bad, and/or creepy.

Where the fuck is your horse in this race?

What do you just like his dick so much you have to defend the possibility that he might not be a rapist?

Do you know the guy?

Do you regularly disregard safe-words and rape women and you just don't like to see someone called out for it?

Where is your horse in this race? There is literally nothing anyone but James Deen has to gain from supporting the possibility of his innocence, while supporting the possibility of his guilt is of benefit to so many. It supports Stoya, it supports the women like Stoya, and it makes it that bit harder for rapists to get away with it. This is good for eveyone but James Deen, so why put up such a fight? What do you have to gain? Where is your horse in this race?

If he actually provably didn't do it, none of that stuff is relevant. If you have some good compelling reason for thinking he didn't do it, you shouldn't put that aside out of those considerations. If someone's innocent, they're innocent. That's justice.

Of course in this instance, I don't think there is any good compelling reason to be had. But I'm just saying, if there were.

The idea we should just assume someone is guilty in cases where it benefits fewer people if they're innocent is not a good one.

"There is literally nothing anyone but James Deen has to gain from supporting the possibility of his innocence, while supporting the possibility of his guilt is of benefit to so many."

Hi, do you live in America? Because innocent until proven guilty is one of our standards. And sure, people like to trot out "but that's only in a court of law!!!" but the second we start to devalue it outside the courtroom is when it begins to lose its teeth inside it, too.

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 21:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: James Deen

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-01 22:16 (UTC) - Expand

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