[ SECRET POST #3265 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3265 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 075 secrets from Secret Submission Post #467.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2- not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: looking for a grammar/language beta

[feotakahari]

In leaving, Draco's army has left behind nothing but wreckage.

Some of the paragraph spacing is screwed up.

their reunion. Gobber Did I already suggest this one?

mourned silently, how he stood strong for Hiccup and didn't show his pain. Working in something about how he failed Hiccup as a parent seems like it would be a distraction at this point.

That's the second pass.

For future reference, it feels like there are too many commas. It would be good to experiment more with sentences that don't use commas. I'd leave that for another time, though--this feels good enough as it is, and I don't want to mutilate it too much.

I'll look at the Fullmetal Alchemist one tomorrow.