fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3266 ]

[ SECRET POST #3266 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3266 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #467.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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ayrt

I don't really have a problem with that per se. Ideally, I think we should all be able to hang out because I don't think men and women should be separated or treated differently, but since society does separate us and give us pretty unique experiences, I get either a) feeling more comfortable around your own gender or b) feeling like you're SUPPOSED to hang out with your gender and getting self-conscious if you don't have same-sex friends. Still, I hope OP can be more comfortable about it, because in the end, that kind of self-reluctance is only going to make his fandom life less fun.

But there are some things you can only discuss with your own gender. Generally sexual/health things.

As much of a tomboy as I am, I can't offer advice to my male friends about their random boners or prostate problems.

Well, sure, but there are a lot of things you can only discuss with certain groups that has nothing to do with gender. Religious crises with people of the same religion, cultural issues with people from your own area, school/professional things with people in your same major/profession. I don't begrudge anyone wanting to talk about sex stuff with people from their own sex, or with the same sexual orientation (let's talk about hot girls! hot guys! let's talk about two dudes boning! two ladies!), but I like to think most people are more interesting than that and have other things they can talk about, too, and make meaningful friendships with people who aren't exactly the same.

Random boners are gross, but they will ease as you get older and if they don't then see a doctor for some provera. Prostates should be checked every couple of years by a doctor.

I don't see what is so hard with that advice. I certainly don't see why being a woman affects it.

+1

Seriously: this has more to do with having knowledge than with borne gender. A male can educate himself to know more about most women about the menstrual cycle and vice versa. (This goes for most gender assumptions actually.)

Generalizations are only useful from afar, being used on specific objects they tend to do harm.

* THAN most women

It might be more of a "I feel more comfortable talking about this to someone who also has this happen to them" thing. Someone who also gets random boners. Sure, as a cis female I can read up on shit, but I'll never experience a boner.

There are men who never get random boners either. You can go out of your way to make friends with males; that doesn't ensure you'll get friends who share your problem with random boners.

but I'll never experience a boner.

You walked right into that one.

Edited 2015-12-14 01:07 (UTC)

OMFG. Why are you being so obtuse? Of COURSE there are going to be men who don't. But I have two groups of friends.

Group A: 5 Woman
Group B: 5 Men.

Which fucking group do you think is more likely to be able to empathize with random boners?

You can go out of your way to make friends with males; that doesn't ensure you'll get friends who share your problem with random boners.

You stupid, stupid person. No one is saying you say to yourself, "I need to talk about boners, I should specifically search out men I SHARE NO OTHER INTERESTS WITH FOR BONER TALK.

But, it means that when talking about a certain subject, you TALK TO THE FUCKING GROUP OF FRIENDS WHO YOU THINK WILL UNDERSTAND.

Like how do you not understand this?

Which fucking group do you think is more likely to be able to empathize with random boners?

No clue? That's really going to depend on the sex drives of the individuals.

But, it means that when talking about a certain subject, you TALK TO THE FUCKING GROUP OF FRIENDS WHO YOU THINK WILL UNDERSTAND.

Sure, I just don't get the supposedly important gender link.

You do know women* can't get boners...right? Have you had sex ed? Oh god. Are you a child?

*except for like a .5% consisting of trans individuals

No, but they can experience random, uncomfortable, and persistent arousal. Likewise, there are men that have no experience with random unwanted arousal.

That is not the same as a boner. You can't generally tell when a woman is aroused from physical cues.

A boner is a physical and visible sign of arousal. Something women can't really relate to.

"God. It was so embarrassing when I got a hard-on in front of the whole class."
Male Friend: I know, man. A stiff breeze can get me up at the worst times.
Female Friend: I too get aroused! Not that you can tell. But yeah, becoming slightly sweaty is the same that!

And because I think you may be like 12...this is a boner. SFW https://assets.rbl.ms/1547692/980x.jpg

Yeah, but other people can't SEE it. There's a really big difference there.

Maybe they can't see yours. That doesn't apply to every woman. Some women produce enough lubrication when aroused that it will leak through their clothes or down their legs.

That's still not really comparable to a boner.

And I have to admit, I have never heard of that actually happening. (I also have to wonder if any of these women wear pantyliners.)

That's still not really comparable to a boner.

You can say that, but you're not providing any explanation for why it isn't.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-12-14 22:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

blitzwing - 2015-12-14 22:28 (UTC) - Expand

NA Please stop it with the name calling.

Dude, you're such an idiot.

I know.

At least you admit it.

OMFG. Why are you being so obtuse?

Don't worry, anon, you're not the only one wondering this. I've been wondering it since this poster's first few comments in this thread. Their mulishness here is bizarre, considering this is such an inconsequential discussion in the first place.

nyart

It's like the weirdest case of devil's advocate ever.

Exactly! It's not about being able to give health advice. It's about being able to go, "Oh man, I HATE when that happens! Like this one time, it happened right while I was-" and so on. Or it might go, "That hardly ever happens to me, but there's this other thing that happens which is seriously so fucking annoying to deal with."

As a female, could I still have a conversation with a male friend about orgasms? Yes. But it wouldn't be the same conversation I would have with a female friend about orgasms, and some times the girl-to-girl conversation is the one you want. For me, conversations with my female friends tend to make me feel connected and known, more than my conversations with male friends do.

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