fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3280 ]

[ SECRET POST #3280 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3280 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 053 secrets from Secret Submission Post #469.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She's not being judgemental and yes, you're being overly sensitive.

You know why? She's talking about what she wants in a partner. She's not talking about anything else. You're obviously insecure in yourself, or this shit wouldn't bother you.

Do you do the same thing when someone says, "But they don't have curly hair!" and yours is straight?

I totally get that, she can have whatever criteria she wants for the people she dates. If she'd just said she wanted to date someone more experienced or he wasn't her type or whatever, that's a different thing. But "he's only dated 4 people, that's weird" is judgmental. Like I said above, it bothered me that she was making fun of the dude for being a virgin. I'm not one, so it doesn't have anything to do with me personally, but I still think it's kind of a shitty thing to judge someone for.

Oh, how dare she want a partner who's had sex before! You realize how judgemental you sound with this statement?

She's saying how he doesn't meet her criteria, and you're letting it get to you.

"I prefer people who have had sex before' would be one thing.

"He's only dated 4 people before? He's so weird" is being an asshole about it.

AYRT

Again, it's perfectly fine for her to feel that way, it's about the way she said it. "I'd prefer a partner who's had sexual experience" or whatever is fine; "this person is WEIRD!" is not.

I don't get how saying "hey, it's not cool to call people weird because they're different than you" makes ME judgmental, but okay.

The way you're phrasing things can come across as if you really are bothered by the idea of her wanting someone with experience, I think is what they're getting at. I doubt you mean it.

"DA" lol no one believes you.

Quit trying to pretend to be someone else.

No they're being a dick about it. It's less "I want this kind of guy" and more the ridiculing of supposed "immaturity" by not dating as many people. They are being judgmental even if that's their "preference" , they're making a judgement about someone based on how many people they've been with.

it's not immature it's "weird".

Still the point stands. It's not "overly sensitive" to be bothered when a supposed friend says someone's weird for not having as much sex as they do.

Maybe instead of getting all pathetically asshurt because "I have the right to state muh opinion" you should think about how you state it.

If I stated my opinion as "I like this people who share this interest of mine" as a preference that would be one thing. But if I stated it as "people who are into this interest are weeeeeeeeeeeird" I would be acting like a dick.

I really don't get why this is so hard to understand.

Poor analogy. Hair type is acquired through accident of birth.

Acquaintance is judging friend for being the type of person he has become through his experiences, not for hair. To express disgust toward a friend over something that is not in the least bit disgusting absolutely is judgmental. She's entitled to her preferences. She's not entitled to turning her nose up at her friend's dating history.

What would you say if he turned around and said "I wouldn't date her, she has been with at least 20 guys" and "she has slept around soooo much, ugh"? Would that be just as acceptable to you?

Fucking +1000

AYRT is the one who's really taking OP to personally. Fucking sockpuppeting to aggressivley confront everyone who agrees with OP

What an adult infant.

What is it with assholes and their inability to take responsibility for things?

They can say whatever the hell they want but everyone else is at fault for being 'too sensitive'.

OP just said they were bothered and felt the person was a little judgmental. That sound pretty mild.

If you think people finding you rude is "overly sensitive" maybe you're the overly sensitive one?

Their responses show they're more than bothered, tbh

You look pretty overly bothered about this yourself.

Oh no someone thinks someone's being rude about stating a judgement about people who don't have sex as much.

If this person has the entitlement to say whatever they want, they should accept that other people are entitled to think their judgement are immature and rude.

NAYRT

If this person has the entitlement to say whatever they want, they should accept that other people are entitled to think their judgement are immature and rude.

It's like the people who cry "FREEEEEEDOM OF SPEEEEEECH!" whenever they state an assholish opinion and people call them an asshole because of it. That shit goes both ways.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3280 ]

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