fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3296 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3296 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Pokemon/Harry Potter]

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[Blue Submarine No. 6]

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[Ronin Warriors/Yoroiden Samurai Troopers]

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[Bucky Barnes]

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[Stephen King's The Stand]

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[Adam West/Batman]

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[Haruchika]

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(George R.R. Martin)

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[Mortal Kombat]

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[Carmen Sandiego]

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[Brooklyn Nine Nine]

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[Star Wars: The Force Awakens]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #471.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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This all happened between the ages of ten and fifteen. I'm 25 now. I wish I could just get over it and deal with it like a normal person. I'm tired of letting it define my life. I've stopped talking to most of my family. I feel guilty about it. If I do talk to them, I feel guilty knowing I hold a secret that could destroy my whole family.

My brother. Everyone loves him. He's the perfect older brother to my other siblings. Our cousins love hanging out with him. His friends would do anything for him. He's also in the army, so strangers love him, too.

We are Facebook friends. He posts links to articles about rapists and pedophiles and claims disgust and outrage. His friends agree. If they only knew what he did to me.

My uncle molested me repeatedly as I was growing up. There was one time when he drove me and my sister to the store. He reached behind my sister (she was sitting in the middle) and fondled me. That's the memory that sticks with me the most out of all the times it happened.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish with this post. I just need to talk to someone. I feel dizzy and sad and angry. Nauseous. And confused. I wish I could just stop talking to them all, never see them again. But they are my family and I feel so guilty. And they know where I live. They would not hesitate to come find me.

Jesus christ anon, I'm so sorry. I don't have more to say to you but you have all the support I can offer.

I really do feel bad posting my mens-rights-y shit on the same thread as you. I'll fuck it off to somewhere else, you can have this thread.

Feel free to write out more if you need to. There are also good phone and online resources if you feel like you need to speak to someone who can help you reach a decision and move on. Whether that involves telling your family or not.

I suggest the first thing you do is find yourself someone to actually talk to before you consider talking to your family; having a good handle on what you want to do and say is paramount to how your relationship with them will weather their response if you do decide to reveal what happened to them. Talking to someone impartial can help you work out what you want to do.

A psychologist who specializes in childhood sexual abuse would be the best place to look.

I don't if I'm having reading comprehension issues, and I'm sorry if I am, but are you saying both your brother and your uncle molested you, or that your brother knew and didn't do anything? I'm confused by the switch from talking about how awesome your brother is(?) to mentioning that your uncle molested you.

I thought this too at first, but I read it again and I think it's along the lines of "my brother doesn't realize what my uncle did and if he [my brother] did, he [my brother] would lose respect for him [my uncle]".

I'm sorry, feel free to not answer this, but was it your brother or your uncle?

I promise I'm not doubting you, I really am not trying to pick holes in what you're saying, so please believe me on that, but there seems to be a discrepancy between who the abuser is. Could you clarify? Only if you don't mind. Please don't take this as a challenge to your truth. I do believe you, I just would like to know for sure what it is I believe.

I'm very sorry all of that happened to you. If I'm reading this right, both your brother and your uncle were molesting you?

I would recommend talking about it with a therapist if you can't speak to anybody else.

But I have a sneaking suspicion that you aren't the only one in your family that was molested by your uncle. In fact, I suspect there might be a few secrets in that family of yours, but nobody wants to rock the boat because FAAAAAAAMILY, and the image might be valued over the actual inner condition of the family.

This is just a suspicion though. Even if I'm right, the others may not have any interest in coming forward, and may deny it too, or accuse you of trying to ruin brother's and uncle's reps or break up the family.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be a downer or anything, just saying it's a possibility. I hope it's not the case.

You said you barely talk to your family now. Are they generally jerks, or did you kind of pull away from them for some other reason? Are their views of your brother and uncle kind of souring your view of your relationship with the rest of your family? Like, do you feel that you won't have their support? I think if you have family members you get along with, then you should continue the relationship (unless it's too painful). It sucks to feel isolated when you've been hurt by someone (though this is what abusers count on to escape their crimes). And you never know who might have your back if the secrets start coming out.

As for the shitty members of your family... shitty in that they hurt you don't apologize (not a half-assed or non-apology that deflects blame but a genuine apology that acknowledges wrongdoing and its effect on you) or show true intent to change their shitty ways, don't feel like you have to keep in touch with them much. Or at all.

I will say this... if you don't have a place of your own, consider doing so. Room with a friend if you can. People who don't have your permission just can't barge into YOUR home. Family or no.

[ SECRET POST #3296 ]

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