[ SECRET POST #3303 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3303 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. https://i.imgur.com/aiRzbnJ.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, I think an amazing, platonic friendship can be just as important as a sexual/romantic relationship, so if characters already have the former in canon, I don't need the latter. I'm satisfied with it the way it is.

There are some exceptions for me, though, like Steve/Bucky (I guess if they become estranged/rivals at some point, I'm good), but I still like that platonically almost just as much.

[philstar22]

I agree that platonic relationships can be amazing too. Although, I've heard this argument used to tell people why they shouldn't ship best friends or by people insisting best friends should never fall in love in canon. And that isn't fair. The existence of romantic friendships doesn't invalidate platonic friendships.

Not saying you are saying that. I've just heard that argument a lot.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree.
While most of my ships are friends pairs, there are some friends I wouldn't want to go romantic because their relationship is perfect AS IS.

[(Anonymous)]

See, this is more of a good reason for the not shipping best friends thing. Because you like the dynamic of the friendship over what would happen romantically. Unlike just saying "well shipping it would be boring."

High fives all around for you, anon!

[(Anonymous)]

"As good as" as in emotionally satisfying, or in you like jerking it to reading about platonic friendship?

Because man would that make it easier to find wank material.

[philstar22]

Boring is subjective though. And people aren't necessarily looking for realistic real life relationships in fictional ships.

I love best friend ships. And this secret is something I would have submitted a few years ago. But you know what, people ship things differently. And there are people who would find best friend ships boring in real life too. Some people like relationships where they bicker all the time. Some people like purely sexual relationships. People like so many different things, both in fics and in real life. And that is okay.

Now the people who say best friend ships are objectively boring and objectively don't have chemistry, now that does bug me.

[blitzwing]

I hear you on the higher stakes thing. Potentially losing your best friend sounds pretty stressful. I wish there were more friend-to-romance fics that went there. I guess readers would be pretty pissed at that sort of ending though...

Fandom would be a better place if people didn't feel the need to put down or demonize things they didn't personally like.

[wannabe_influential]

Best friend ships are my bread and butter

Romantic, sexual, platonic, just give me two or more characters with good chemistry and a whole history together and I am sold

[(Anonymous)]

Same here :). This is why I love friendship-based ships.

I can see where shipping rivals would be exciting, though. Seeing people who were originally at odds coming to accept and care about each other with time, seeing them having to work together under unusual circumstances, stuff like that...it would be fun to explore.

And be it friendship pairings or rival pairings, I think there's plenty of ways to show the conflicted feelings people have for each other without needing to create some contrived drama in the process. That's where the issue lies a lot of the time, be it in the canon material or in fanfic.

[nightscale]

I like both, it depends how each individual dynamic works as to whether I ship it or not. I might have a bit more of a preference for best friend ships but I honestly don't know.

Either way even if I don't ship a best friend ship I will still love the fuck out of the relationship anyway, I just love seeing friends being supportive of each other in general tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

I used to prefer rivals ships, until I saw the chemistry in a best friend ship and really grew to love it. I see what you mean by a lot to lose.

However, people liking different things than you, or thinking the things you like are boring shouldn't "hurt" you. It's not personal.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the secret is referring more to how some people get really kind of mean about best friend ships in general, like a surprising amount of people actively hate on friend!ships a lot from what I've personally seen. Lots of "friends don't work as lovers" and "it's so boring" (I've seen this too, OP's experience definitely isn't unique). It's not so much "this is boring to me", it's basically like "this is bad and you should feel bad for liking it you trash" territory a lot of the time.

[kallanda_lee]

I just frankly don't understand how people actually date people who are not also their friends, but I realize that's just me and there are other tpes of relationships...but yeah. It's not exactly boring.

[(Anonymous)]

NA

Yeah, same here. I can't imagine not being best friends with my boyfriend. :/ Like...what would we do if we weren't also friends who could do best-friendy things together? In my experience best friend relationships work out much better in the long run in real life. It might be ~super hot~ to imagine your fandom faves as like, bickering all the time and it's really just repressed sexual tension (although personally for me it's ten times hotter when it's people actually being nice to one another that creates the sexual tension :P), but in reality people like that are rarely couples for long, because real world insecurities happen, and communication in these kinds of couples is pretty bad, and just...yeaaah.

[ketita]

tbh I think a lot of it is the fault of the writers and the way the relationship is portrayed in canon. I like positive relationships, by and large. But it's the same way that people write mountains of UST and can't write established relationships, or have them actually get together and be together and have the fic still be interesting.

My pet theory, which I still stick by, is that most romance fics lack an actual plot, and so have nothing but drama to keep them moving. So you need an endless dramatrain or you'll have no story.

[(Anonymous)]

For me it's because best friends are a safety net. They love each other unconditionally and it's familiar. To go from friends to lovers is a shift in dynamic and if it doesn't work out it can ruin the friendship. Friendship is more comfortable and stable than romance. It's not boring but there is really no spark.

Not saying best friends wouldn't also be good romance but platonic relationships are so under appreciated that when I see best friends I want to appreciate it for what it is.

[(Anonymous)]

I've shipped both best friend ships and rival ships, they are both a whole different experience that appeals to different people.

I notice more relaxed people tend to like the best friend ships whereas energetic people like the rival ships. Depending on my mood I could go either way.

Though it doesn't surprise me why the energetic people would find the relaxed ships boring, or why the relaxed people find the energetic ships too intense.

[(Anonymous)]

Best friends/good friends are my absolute favorite type of ship. Even if they're not, I end up turning them into friends in my head/fics. I make no apologies as I have found that the best (romantic) relationships are with people that you would have as a friend.

[elaminator]

I kind of agree, in that I think BFF pairings are typically adorable and deep and are exciting because of the level of commitment and strength of that bond. However, I also acknowledge that friendships are basically all those things even without the shipping, but seeing close friends become romantic often feels more satisfying to me, and well as believable. (There ARE friends I don't ship, but it's definitely a trope I like.)

I don't think it's boring (And for people wanting conflict, no relationship is perfect) and making the transition from friend to lover would take a bit of time and effort, but some people are looking for a different dynamic.

[(Anonymous)]

Uh. I'm aware of how boring real life relationships are, and that's why I don't want one. Likewise, my fictional relationships better be exciting, or I don't want those either.

[dahli]

I like friends to lovers stories, but it also depends on how they pull it off for me. There's also the fact that some friendships remind me too much of me and my bestie and we don't see each other that way. Hell, I sometimes give her advice regarding her girlfriend (since I was in a similar situation as her GF regarding college and other stuff).

But yeah, tl;dr it really depends on how they pull it off. Also I rarely like male/female friendship turned lovers due to the fact that they are both not well written (i.e. the writer assumes we know why they should be together and doesn't give any sort of reason on why they are in love or how they reached that point) and the fact that there's rarely any sort of friendship stuff between a guy and a girl.

Also I don't need drama in my non-friendship relationships and usually hate when they are added to either. Like I said, it's really how the author is able to pull it off that interests me.

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't want to lose a rival OR a best friend that I've fallen in love with. One doesn't necessarily seem worse to me than the other because at that point they're your partner regardless of how things started out (maybe the rival that you fall in love with also becomes your BFF, for example).

[(Anonymous)]

If someone calling a ship you ship boring HURTS you, maybe the problem isn't with them and their thoughts on a ship but with you and your fragile emotions.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate bestfriend ships, but not for any of those reason. I hate them because I was dumped by the love of my life, because after years of being together, I had become a friend, and not a girlfriend. And I used to think that was the best kind of partner, but not so apparently.