[ SECRET POST #3305 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3305 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. http://i.imgur.com/4IdZwZc.png

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I'd describe all of these as unhealthy?

Everyone likes external validation. Are they afraid they aren't good enough to write anything else, or do they claim they aren't in response to statements that they should write something else? As for "fear" of not being published/people not being interested in original ideas, I'd say that's more a realistic assessment of the odds and amount of effort involved in publishing and marketing original work. Not writing fanfiction won't make someone any less unemployed or depressed. Writing prompt fic is a method of positive social interaction, fine, though granted they shouldn't get their expectations up too much. Internet famous... whatever.

I don't see why any of those reasons would make you feel like an enabler.

[kallanda_lee]

How do you know it's the writing that unhealthy, though, instead of a coping strategy for a shit situation? I know that it is for me. And yeah, you know, I'd rather be published, but it's hard -and I've been published, but most of it was for free. I think all in all, my original writing hasn't even made me 200 euro...so yeah.

I don't think fanfic keeps me from writing original stuff - it's escapism, and sometimes seeing I made someone happy with a fic is worth more than a published article that not even my parents bother to read...so yeah.

[praetorian_guard]

A lot of these reasons, it seems to me, are things that they can't necessarily do anything about. Fanfic is an outlet for a lot of people; if people are writing to escape their daily lives, I can't blame them.

Also, there are a lot worse coping mechanisms out there.

[diet_poison]

I'm trying to figure out what's going on in your icon. I think I see three hands, two arms, a leg, and...a head?

I like it, don't get me wrong, I just don't get it! Is it a cutout from a larger picture? It looks like one of those Greek urns

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't realize that writing for low self esteem was horrible and unhealthy enough that it should be discouraged.

Certainly it's better than other things people could be doing because of low self esteem.

[(Anonymous)]

any creative medium is like that though

except maybe knitting lol

[sarillia]

Nah knitting can be like that too. At least for me.

[recessional]

Oh fuck no knitting is totally like that for a lot of people.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh God this secret really rubbed me up the wrong way. I think I'm probably too tired right now to properly articulate why, but...

Several of these reasons (not all) could probably apply to me. So basically you might as well be judging me... for the fact that I cope with (a.k.a. "avoid") RL problems (that I cannot actually do anything more productive about), by doing something I enjoy both for its own sake, and for the enjoyment it gives other people.

I'm failing to see how I'm doing something "unhealthy" with this. OP, if you're serious, you frankly sound kind of sanctimonious and naive all at once. (If you're trolling - which is what I'd rather believe - then well played.)

[fingalsanteater]

MTE, and my feelings on it as well.

Like, OP is worried about enabling people's coping mechanism? And, writing is one of the most common coping mechanisms. If I'm not mistaken, writing is actively encouraged by therapists as a healthy way to deal with trauma and your emotions. Idgi.

[replicantangel]

This is such an odd secret that I almost feel like it's an attempt to be subtle troll.

I'm not sure how writing *because* of low self-esteem is a thing? Like, they should be stage performers, but they have such "low self-esteem" that they've lowered themselves to writing fanfic? I don't get it. Maybe you mean in conjunction with the other things – they have low self-esteem so they want validation? Even with the self-serving stuff (wanting to be Internet-famous), I don't get how you'd be enabling something that is in no way under your control.

Anyway, I don't see how writing to escape one's problems is a bad thing anyway. Lots of people write (or read or play video games or whatever) to escape. As an avoidance technique, you could do worse. And if they're going to do it anyway, how are you enabling them by reading it? Are you their only reviewer, cheering them on and thus you feel you're encouraging this avoidance behavior? Because (a) that's not how enabling works and (b) even if it were, you are not responsible for others' feelings and actions in this situation.

I doubt you know these people's lives to the extent that you can speak to their mental health and social adjustment, etc etc. You see a sliver of their lives, and you're making a lot of assumptions.

[dancingmouse]

Well, maybe they're trying to become healthy, cope, or avoid becoming unhealthy, by having an outlet.

I think you're overthinking in this case. If you enjoy reading it, and they enjoy writing it, who cares? There's no use beating yourself up over something beyond your control.

Something to keep in mind

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of people in fandom have some form of mental illness. I'm not saying this in a "lol those Supernatural fans are wacko" kind of way, but a lot of mental ill people are attracted to fandom for various reasons (opportunity to socialize with less chance of setting off anxiety, not being ridiculed for being fixated on specific topics, the opportunity for escapism, etc.)

Sure, like all things, folks could use fandom as a coping mechanism to the point of it being unhealthy, but in most cases writing about two fictional characters you think should makeout is a substantially healthier form of coping compared to other mechanisms that could be used (alcohol/drug use, self harm, etc.)

Re: Something to keep in mind

[(Anonymous)]

I assume that most people in fandom have some kind of issues, whether it's mental health, long-term unemployment, trauma recovery or whatever. Not just because they're attracted to fandom, but because of the huge amount of time it takes to get fully involved. There are not many people who have that time all the way through their lives.

Another category would be students (although when I was a student, I had hardly any free time so I have no idea how they pass their courses).

When I meet adults in fandom ( like 25+) I just assume they have something going on. That's not a bad thing, and why should it be bad that they're writing fic to make themselves feel better? It's probably a lot better than the alternative.

The OP sounds like they've just discovered that when you're an adult it doesn't necessarily mean you'll be healthy and in a good situation, and is freaking out about that.

It would be nice if nobody had mental health problems, but if you don't "enable" someone by reading their fic, they're not magically going to get better. It doesn't help anyone with problems to deny them their hobbies. It's uncomfortable being around people with mental health issues, but they still have to exist and do something with their life.

[(Anonymous)]

Are you one of those "any types of escapism is BAAAAD" sorts?

Get off your high horse. People use writing to deal with issues or cheer themselves up when life is otherwise hell to keep them going.

You're enabling anything.

[(Anonymous)]

*you're not enabling anything

[elaminator]

I feel like a LOT of people probably fall into at least one of these categories and frankly I don't see why it's such a big problem. Everyone has their own personal issues (low self-esteem, etc) and if sharing their work and getting feedback makes them feel better about themselves and their skill, good for them.

There are so many awful (daengerous, unhealthy or illegal) things people could do as a distraction from daily life. This one's pretty harmless. (Not saying I don't understand how it could be a problem if taken to extremes, but that's everything.)

I don't see what's wrong with wanting validation, either. To some extent, most people do. Can't say I fully understand the need to be internet famous, but it makes me happy when people talk to me, like something I've done or said or compliment me. (So I can understand the “want to be liked" aspect, just not the famous part.)

Hell, people that don't want attention probably wouldn't bother commenting on websites like this... (Or making secrets.)

As for their writing itself, it is unfortunate if they want to write original stories but don't because they don't think it will be well received, but if they aren't going to do it, they aren't going to do it; you reading their fic isn't hurting anything.

Plus, writing fanfic isn't some great sin they should be ashamed of... If they write it, they probably enjoy it!

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who has been there, you aren't enabling them. If anything, fic can be much more useful than a lot of ways people run from their problems. Considering some of the other options are alcoholism, drug abuse, unhealthy attitudes to sex, shopping to the point of extreme debt, or losing yourself in a MMO world to the extent that you never leave the house and barely eat, I'd say fic is pretty harmless. It helps practice writing skills and keeps them fresh, gives a sense of purpose, rarely empties the bank account and uses little but time, often builds friendship and camaraderie and has lead to future in original writing for many.

I came out of my dark period and got a publishing gig because of all the fandom stuff I did. There's people who have done the same because of fan art or fan music composing or whatever. It helped manage my depression and taught me how to write and finally gain confidence for myself.

Now, there's other sides of fandom which can be genuinely dangerous and I'd worry about. The fandom SJ blogger who is all rage all the time and alienates everyone around them for being "too problematic" for example, or the people obsessed with popularity and being a BNF that posting fic puts them into a deep cycle of emotional reactions or the people who are so obsessed with their ship/hating a ship that it becomes unhealthy and takes over their life. But just writing fic itself isn't inherently unhealthy, and you shouldn't feel bad.

Remember, these people would've been just as depressed or in just a dark place if they didn't have fic. They just would've been more alone, more isolated and finding escapism in worse ways.

[(Anonymous)]

Huh. Only the "low self esteem" part applies to me, and oddly enough, this secret made me feel better. I might be shamelessly writing fic for the gratification and comments, but at least I have my life together.

[(Anonymous)]

to be honest, I wish I had a (fandom) friend like you who cared enough about ~"me"~ to notice that the fun creative outlets we enjoyed together were self-destructive escapism.

if you feel like some of your writer friends are trying to indirectly convey a S.O.S, via jokes or casual remarks maybe, shoot them a pm. sometimes it really helps if another person you can trust is acknowledging your problems, especially if you have to cover them up irl.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm so glad that I write fic just for fun, and not as a form of escapism.

[(Anonymous)]

Writing: Not Even Once.

[(Anonymous)]

I can definitely see this. Having been in fandom for holy crap many years, I have seen (and been) some of these things. I've seen an author set up an anon comm deliberately to trash every other writer that wasn't her (if someone namedropped her on this wank comm, it was insta deleted, but she swore she was not involved lolright).

I also know in my case, my life DID suck. And maybe I COULD have done other things to channel that in a different way, but it was a situation I really couldn't do anything to fix--no small fix, or even drastic fix, really. It was something I just had to get through, and writing fic helped me cope. And feeling like people liked me...helped, too, because yeah, self esteem, ya got me, it's pretty low. Anyone in a situation they can't really escape isn't going to feel too hot about themselves.

But don't worry about 'enabling' anyone. You don't actually have that much power, as harsh as that might sound. If they are truly doing it because they are massive attentionseekers, you could give them all the attention you have and it still wouldn't be good enough, and if they're not, maybe they, like me, could use a little 'hey you're actually awesome' in their lives.

I know my biggest goal in writing is to make a reader feel something, but I mean, you know, in the STORY, and not about me.

[diet_poison]

Some of those reasons are unhealthy, but I wouldn't say all of them are.

I guess if it makes you uncomfortable don't read it? It seems a little presumptuous, though.